Attraction to women

[Inthemood]

When/if you are in a committed relationship (serious gf, wife) etc. do you occasionally find yourself seriously attracted to another girl/woman? Do you think it's normal?

Let's say you work together or go to school together and you see this person very frequently. There is a cheerful bond which develops, she is fun and kind and interesting and is insanely attractive. Do you continue a very close friendship/mild flirtation at work/school/etc., ooor the moment you feel that attraction starts to increase do you voluntarily decrease the contact with the woman/girl?

Do you know what I'm talkin' bout?

[One-Way]

Re: Attraction for men

I just woke up so I'll say something but this isn't the best answer.

I'm in a serious relationship and I don't really get attracted to another girl. If I come across a friendly girl in class, that's how it remains; an acquaintance in class. I don't really look for anything so I don't allow myself to get interested. I don't really take the time to look at another girl so I guess I'm already nothing allowing myself to get interested. Why would I look?

That's just me.

[jgk3]

Re: Attraction for men

I think it's perfectly normal to have some connection, even attraction women other than the one you're with.

If you get to close to some other girl, without actually doing anything with them, at least be careful not to explicitly grade the girl you are with based on "all the wonderful qualities" of this other girl. That's a no no. You might find yourself all alone.

For advice on how to "jump ship" between relationships, you'll have to ask someone else, I've never done that.

[One-Way]

Re: Attraction for men

This looks strangely wrong; we both replied in a thread titled "Attraction for men."

[jgk3]

Re: Attraction for men

I just woke up so I'll say something but this isn't the best answer.

I'm in a serious relationship and I don't really get attracted to another girl. If I come across a friendly girl in class, that's how it remains; an acquaintance in class. I don't really look for anything so I don't allow myself to get interested. I don't really take the time to look at another girl so I guess I'm already nothing allowing myself to get interested. Why would I look?

That's just me.

A contributing factor to this, imo, is how high sex is graded as a priority in your life. If it's too high, you'll definitely be looking and seeking accordingly to your environment.

There's nothing wrong with having it as a lower priority, it doesn't necessarily mean you have a weak libido, it's just that you don't put libido goggles on during your day outside of home. I find I get on with women better at school this way, there's more comfort. Sometimes I pursue a girl after I established this comfort, and then I do start to think about sex, that's when I start to feel less relaxed and can act awkwardly, forgetting my bits of wisdom :P

[jgk3]

Re: Attraction for men

This looks strangely wrong; we both replied in a thread titled "Attraction for men."

Perhaps we should change the title. Ah... much better.

[Anonymouse]

Re: Attraction for men

Unlike One-Way I don't believe it's a black and white issue. Even if you are in a relationship, attraction is attraction.

The mere virtue of being involved in a relationship does not make one blind to beautiful people and attraction. The problem is in the emphasis that is placed. You can be alone and appreciate a beautiful woman or handsome man, and be with your significant other and be inappropriate. Likewise, you can be with your other and acknowledge "He/she is a good looking man/woman."

Attraction is not a choice, unlike love. However, because it is not a choice, it does not mean you cannot choose to control it. In other words, let's not confuse the choice with a lack of choice. What you find attractive and gravitate toward on a carnal and physical/chemical level does not mean that you have no choice in curbing it or exercising restraint. If that were the case then there should be no relationships since everyone would be even more blatantly animalistic in their deceptions and infidelities.

As One-Way pointed out, you just don't allow yourself to develop a bond or get interested because you know that is a road that leads to nowhere but problems. And I should say, it says more about you then your significant other. Maybe there is something about your significant other that you do not like and were hiding it inside in the depths of your being.

She can be the hottest girl for miles, but if that overshadows her personality, your relationship will fail. She can be the most amiable girl for miles, but if that overshadows her looks, your relationship will fail. A relationship simply needs both emotional and physical attraction to work. It is a matter of the heart and penis, not the mind, thus this attraction must be felt and not rationalized. For if the latter, then you end up precisely in scenarios where you are flirting at work with someone who you are attracted to.

[One-Way]

Re: Attraction to women

Eh, I think the third part of Anonymouse's paragraph is more of what I was trying to say.

To me, it doesn't matter, because I won't allow myself to develop a bond. It doesn't matter if I, for a second, think someone is attractive. In all honesty, I don't find it happening.

[Inthemood]

Re: Attraction for men

Perhaps we should change the title. Ah... much better.

I liked my original title, it had a ring to it. A cologne that Calvin Klein would create.

[Inthemood]

Re: Attraction for men

I just woke up so I'll say something but this isn't the best answer.

I'm in a serious relationship and I don't really get attracted to another girl. If I come across a friendly girl in class, that's how it remains; an acquaintance in class. I don't really look for anything so I don't allow myself to get interested. I don't really take the time to look at another girl so I guess I'm already nothing allowing myself to get interested. Why would I look?

That's just me.

Well, it's not really looking per se. You happened to be around this person a lot, you end up communicating and little by little you develop a bond. It helps if the woman is very attractive, I'm sure. Perhaps in school it's different, but if it's at work and you have to work together it could be a more serious situation. What would you do if the woman is very cool, sexy, funny and clever and she is a good friend to you. No intentions from the beginning, but what about later?