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Feelings of Rejection

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  • #1

    Feelings of Rejection

    Emil and Arvy have sad stories to tell of unrequited love. I'd like to hear everybody's tales of heartbreak here. My own will be coming shortly.
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  • #2
    Tell us your story.

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    • #3
      All right, fine. This is going to take a while.

      I may as well admit, I met the girl online. She lived in NJ and I lived here; we began our relationship as pen-pals. We both had an interest in writing, so we exchanged short stories. It wasn't long before we began to exchange details of our personal lives and realized we had a lot in common. Anyway, she flew out to meet me, it was the best two weeks of my life, fast forward one month, one lost job, one lost apartment, one broken marriage, and one terrible feeling that I just didn't belong in this state, and I moved to the east coast to be with her and get a new start.

      Things went wonderful at first. I have never been freer in my entire life, even though I spent most of my time online looking at various schools. The thing was, I could do that and not feel like I was losing time; she supported me and cared for me in a way I doubt anyone ever will again. I regained a lot of motivation I had lost, regained a lot of confidence.

      Well, needless to say, there were speedbumps. I had difficulty finding a job. I got fired from one for breaking an elevator, then two other places said they'd hire me and never called me back - one did hire me but never called me in for an orientation. I ended up living with her mother, who had lived alone, and driving her car around, since she really didn't need it down at Rutgers. I'd visit her a couple times a week, but it got to the point where I was a drain on her and her mother. I had some wonderful times, saw a great deal of the middle atlantic, but ultimately decided to move back, because I was still technically a California resident and school was just so much cheaper here. Plus, I could lean on my family, though it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do.

      When I came back, she was in financial straits, largely because of me. She was a very generous girl but bought things mostly on credit. Don't get me wrong; I wasn't forcing her to buy my necessities or anything, she was just an excessive gift-giver. The point is, she said she'd visit during breaks in school, but every time one came, she wasn't able to. I held up pretty well. I was very focused on school, and did very well. I completely absorbed myself in my studies and just tried to keep myself as busy as I possibly could in order to make the time pass quickly, knowing I would see her again soon enough. Her time did not pass so smoothly. She didn't do well with the lack of human contact, and began hanging out at the college bars, and developed a slight drinking habit. It was her final semester and she felt too much pressure knowing she would be out in the real world soon enough. She flirted with breaking up with me, but never did it.

      At the end of the summer, I finally flew back out there to spend another couple of weeks with her. It was even better than the first time. Non-stop sex and road trips, visiting schools all over New England, and quality time spent restauranting in Manhattan, courtesy of her Upper East Side-dwelling father. It was bliss all over again, and besides, the fights had stopped. We had perfect relations the entire summer, and everything seemed to be resolved. I would transfer back to the east coast come the following fall, and we would never have these issues again.

      Well, fast forward again to October. I'm working and going to school - a lot. I have little time to call. She's getting very anxious about not being able to find a job, and she still hasn't graduated because she failed to pass an algebra proficiency exam. October 21st, and I finally have a break and call her, hoping for a release from all the stress of being so ridiculously busy. It doesn't come. Instead I get "Adam, I want to break up. This is getting too hard; it isn't even a real relationship. Besides, there's been the thought of someone else. I don't want to cheat on you." She goes on to explain the details of what she calls her 'quarter-life crisis,' telling me she wants to experiment with drugs, have multiple sexual partners (I was her first) and can't see her settling down besides. She says she wants to be a mother someday but not a wife - despite all the dreams we had had together for nearly two years.

      I suppose I'm doing perfectly fine at this point, but I can't really say the same for her. Every time we speak now, there is a newfound sense of desperation in her voice, as she tells me of how she fainted on Halloween from malnutrition or of how she takes morphine to help her sleep at night. It breaks my heart every time.

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      • #4
        Beautiful story Adam. I think my problem is I "look" to far ahead when I meet a person. I don't know if it's being 26 and not having a serious g/f, or what. I think I'm just being lame and should not worry about it. Just going to give up on finding somebody, if it happens it does, if not then oh well.

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        • #5
          1)Long distance relationships don’t work. 2) Love sucks. 3) Now that I am older I do tend to look at the big picture when I meet a girl, and I think that’s a bad thing because I get pickier. 4) did I say that love sucks.

          What is love anyway? In Adams case I don’t think it was love it was more like sex.

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          • #6
            You know, it's very weird reading your stories when I see your picture. I keep asking myself "how did that KID write THAT?".

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            • #7
              Adam...that was heart-breaking...but I know this for a fact: Everything that happens, happens for a reason. Maybe u were supposed to be with someone who wasn't so difficult to handle...Besides, would u really want her to be the mother of ur children now? hmmm...NO U WOULDN'T....

              Anyway, looking back at all the love stories in my life...this was the only one that ended up with me having a broken heart....May 1, 2002...I was 20..I met this guy from a family friend of mine who said that this guy saw me somewhere and just HAD to meet me...LAME!...Anywho, I asked how old he was and my friend told me that he was 20 also...Being the hesitant person that I am when it comes to love, I didn't like the idea of dating a 20 year old, thinking that he was still a kid and needed to do his kidish thing before being in a relationship....But, something told me to go out with him anyway. When I saw him...I swear to u, it was like a ton of bricks just slapped me in the back of the head. There was such a huge connection between us, that I wanted to throw up...

              After 2 months of seeing this guy day in and day out...I saw a picture of him, at his house, and he said "Oh yea that's last year's Bday.." The pic had a cake in it, and on the cake said "18" on it....WHAT THE HELL? Okay, it was bad enough that I found out he was 18 still, but it was worse that I never even bothered to ask his age...WTF? Soooo, being the blushing gf that I was, I just brushed it off, thinking that his age doesn't matter. Well that all changed about 7 months later, when I went to meet his parents for the first time. He had met mine a month after dating and my father LOVVVVVVVVVED him...As soon as he took one look at him, he held out his arms and said, "come here son, don't be shy"....OOH WOW....So, I went to meet his parents, but unfortunately the mom was the only one home at the time. Okay, so I had to impress her, I had chocolates, and a huge bouquet of black velvet roses (my fav's)....So, I walked in to his house, and well....she didn't say thank u...for anything....She had the table set up all nice, which I thought was for me, but then I found out her friend was over her house before I went. Anyway, we had a small conversation, and I didn't feel right, so I got up to leave about 30 minutes after I got there. He begged me to stay, but his mother just stood there, not saying anything....I walked out of his house and fell to the ground crying....He held me up to see what was wrong, and I knewwwwwwww we were going to break up. I didn't say anything. I just went home and told my mom what happened. She told me not to worry and that maybe his mom was having a bad day. Well, later that night, he called me and said that he wanted to talk to me. I didn't want to hear what he had to say because I was having that nauseated feeling again, and I knew something was gonna happen. But, the next morning, we met up to talk. As soon as he got into my car, he saw that I had cried all night. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him that he knew what was wrong. Anyway, we went to this small village looking park...He started crying, which is something that I've never seen. He was balling like a baby...OMG...He said that even if we stay together, his mom will NEVER EVER EVER accept me because I was OLD. Mind u, I was 20. She told him all these lies about me trying to control him, which was all bullxxxx because I loved him so much that I gave up all my guy friends, just so he wouldn't feel neglected or hurt. I did SOOOO much for him....but, that's beside the point. We broke up. Okay people, I am a very very strong willed person. I will never let anyone get to me...EVER...but this was the ONLY time that I felt like I wanted to die. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, didn't go to work for like 4 days. It was HELL.....

              November 25th 2003.....was our break up anniversary...He has been asking me to get back together with him since the 1st week after we broke up...But, no way.....

              Having ur heart broken will do SO much damage if u let it. I remember thinking that it was never going to get better. I know this wasn't a long relationship, but I was in love.

              I curse the day that his mother was born. I have never had so much hatred for anyone..especially a mother....but I despise her.


              ANYWAY.....Hope u enjoyed that little story of mine. Sorry if it bored u, but that was the story of my lost love.
              Last edited by violette829; 01-02-2004, 08:56 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ckBejug Love sucks. The sooner you find this out, the better it is. I had three incredibly great and at the same time miserable years to realize that. Three years with one guy that ended in the worst possible way, woohoo cheating, in September and I just realize last night that I might still be in love with the guy. It just dawned on me yesterday that I might never find anyone as much as I loved him and clicked with him on every level. Yeah, GREAT. I know I'm dumb.

                Ur not dumb....Imagine if he called u everyday after the breakup...LOL My ex still does.. We actually went to the movies last night together because we were both bored. It was so hard getting over him. But, I can tell u, it's possible to love again. I know I will..I dunno when, but I know I will. Honey, ur an awesome girl, and any guy who's with u next will realize it and won't break ur heart because he knows that he'll never be able to find anyone else like u. Don't worry...Hey, I have a cute brother

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                • #9
                  Long distance relationships suck. Sometimes love isn't all it's cut out to be. I had three incredibly great and at the same time miserable years to realize that. I knew I never should have said yes to dating my salsa partner and good friend. First instincts are very correct. I will never again doubt my mom if she says someone is wrong for me. She was SO right, too bad I didn't realize this when she said it a month into the relationship, rather than three years later. Three years, one cheating xxxxxxx, one best friend lost (yeah, he really was my best friend before we started dating), and one relationship that ended in the worst possible way (lying and cheating makes me a crying miserable wreck) later I just realized last night that I might never find anyone I will be able to love as much as I loved him and clicked with him on every level. I am afraid to love anyone that much anymore. It turned my whole world upside down when we broke up. Even if I do find that someone I'm going to be too careful of getting hurt again to even take the chance anymore. He has me afraid every guy I like is just going to turn out to be an xxxxxxx. I met one or two guys recently that I really clicked with and the second that happened I wanted to run away. I have been keeping people at arms length and soon enough they will get tired of it and just give up. I am destined to be the cat lady, and I hate cats. It makes me so sad. Yeah, GREAT.
                  The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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                  • #10
                    Ahh im sad now.
                    Sad stories. im sure everyone will find love again. no need to trip.

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