Define Impurity

[London]

Re: Define Impurity

@ Dandelion, God gave us all free will. If a single girl exercises her will to do something impure, she has every right to do it, and of course we should forgive her. But it does not change the fact that a man takes a risk if he marries her.

Re masturbation, your analogy with sweets is a good one. If a woman eats a lot of sweets not only does she get fat and unattractive but also she craves more sweets and no longer appreciates or seeks out healthy food. In the same way, a woman who masturbates is not going to make an attractive wife and also could be craving more s*x or self pleasuring.

In some ways I think masturbation is worse than a woman losing her virginity before marriage. Masturbation is a wholly selfish act that brings pleasure to nobody other than the person who does it. And the person decides to do it themselves, nobody else is there to put pressure on them. So if a woman does this thing, she cannot say she did it to please someone else or because they were pushed into it. She was just selfish and driven by her desires.

[ADandelion]

Re: Define Impurity

Not for the first time do I realize my perspective is based on a totally different understanding of reality that those of the people I'm talking to. And that the subjective nature of said reality makes it, by definition, impossible to prove or disprove any given point.

All I can say is that where you see a pitfall that dooms one to obesity and unappreciation of healthy food, I see an opportunity for enjoyment in moderation, leading to greater ultimate fulfillment, and a chance to learn how to manage and control something new, leading to personal growth.


Is it by definition immoral to do something that brings pleasure to no one but you? Is it immoral to listen to music, then, or to watch a sunset? A selfish act driven by desire isn't necessarily a negative one.

[Sip]

Re: Define Impurity

There is a word for men who end up paying for other men's sins... I think it's called sucker.

I thought it was called Jesus

[London]

Re: Define Impurity

All I can say is that where you see a pitfall that dooms one to obesity and unappreciation of healthy food, I see an opportunity for enjoyment in moderation, leading to greater ultimate fulfillment, and a chance to learn how to manage and control something new, leading to personal growth.


Is it by definition immoral to do something that brings pleasure to no one but you? Is it immoral to listen to music, then, or to watch a sunset? A selfish act driven by desire isn't necessarily a negative one.

Am I right in guessing that you are female and unmarried, and that you masturbate?

If this is so, then here are just a few reasons why you might want to stop:

1. Human sexuality is a very powerful thing. Can you really 'control' it (your word)? What if you become addicted and it controls you, or if getting pleasure from that source leads you into losing your virginity?

2. If a woman avoids the temptations of self-pleasuring and premarital s*x she will have only one outlet for her sexual desires, namely to marry. If she pleasures herself the incentive to seek a husband is much reduced and she could remain single

3. The intimate parts of a woman are like any other part of the body, the more you use it the more sensitive and also muscular it becomes. It is surely better for a single women to suppress her sexuality than try to build it up

4. Some Armenian men don't mind dating or marrying a masturbator, but I get the feeling a lot would be wary or would refuse to do it. How sad it would be to meet a wonderful man, fall in love but be unable to marry him because of a past sin committed when single

5. You admit that masturbation is 'a selfish act driven by desire'. Surely you can see that these are not noble characteristics, and a woman is more admirable if she is not selfish or driven by desire?

[ADandelion]

Re: Define Impurity

It's irrelevant. I can see why you'd assume so, but I took the conversation in this direction as it started with women and their purity.

I'm equally interested in examining male purity, the attitude towards what they need to have and accomplish in their romantic lives, the impossible task they've been set of becoming the new woman in terms of helping with housecleaning and childraising while also being the primary breadwinner, sexism against men on the part of the US media in a and the distortion of their sexuality in the direction opposite to women's, where they're portrayed by the media as single-mindedly sex-crazed, to say nothing the shift in today's standards of masculinity in a world where many men feel emasculated.

But that's for another thread.

It's interesting to note that while my friends freely admit to jacking off, I couldn't get a confession out of my female friends if their lives depended on it. The shame on the part of women is something one would think you'd grow out of in adulthood in a sexually 'free' country, but it's not, and that interests me. Particularly when women here don't try to hide their interest in finding a man, but supposedly have 0 drive for sex while doing so.

[London]

Re: Define Impurity

@ADandelion, I share your view about the roles that society asks people to play. Personally I think modern Western society has made a lot of mistakes and asks people to do things they're not comfortable with. I don't believe men should be 'the new women' as you call them, doing the housework and childcare, but neither should women be chasing after men all the time. I think the reason your female friends won't admit to masturbating is either that they don't do it (in which case they are decent, loveable young ladies) or because they do and they are rightfully ashamed of their conduct. As for men, I think our sexual desires are naturally higher but that good women can have a civilising influence on us.

[Sip]

Re: Define Impurity

A1. Human sexuality is a very powerful thing. Can you really 'control' it (your word)? What if you become addicted and it controls you, or if getting pleasure from that source leads you into losing your virginity?

My response here is if you think masturbation and sex are the same thing or that somehow one might lead to the other is that you probably aren't doing either one of those correctly Mastrubation and sex are VERY different things. With masturbation, you are the main focus. It's all about you. It's like scratching an itch or stretching a sore muscle. It adds to your personal comfort and adds pleasure in your own life. Sex is about sharing an experience with another person. If you focus on the physical side of sex, you might as well masturbate ... but the best sex is generally far beyond just the physical. It is an emotional experience and usually it is a lot more about pleasuring the other person as well (or the other people in some cases lol).

2. If a woman avoids the temptations of self-pleasuring and premarital s*x she will have only one outlet for her sexual desires, namely to marry. If she pleasures herself the incentive to seek a husband is much reduced and she could remain single

That is a HORRIBLE reason to marry. If you are marrying to have sex, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of severe misery. It is very unlikely a marriage based and driven by just sex will be a very successful marriage in my opinion. Actually, I think sex should be one of the least motivating factors in marriage. Sure great sex always helps but there is far far faaaaaaaaar more that goes into making a marriage successful. Actually masturbation really helps to have a clear head here and pick your life-time partner more carefully rather than driven by urges or hormones.

3. The intimate parts of a woman are like any other part of the body, the more you use it the more sensitive and also muscular it becomes. It is surely better for a single women to suppress her sexuality than try to build it up

This is sooooooooo severely wrong in so many levels. Just like anything else that we do as humans, you only get better with practice. This works the same for walking, running, wiping your rear, playing basketball, and even sex. The first few times you do something you are horrible at it. There is no such thing as wearing out your genitals lol (ok maybe by doing some freaky chit or putting rings and having surgeries or mutilating them) ... but if you are damaging your organs, again I will say you are really really doing it wrong! This is the more reason to openly talk about it and even teach people or let them ask questions when unsure (rather than shaming them).

4. Some Armenian men don't mind dating or marrying a masturbator, but I get the feeling a lot would be wary or would refuse to do it. How sad it would be to meet a wonderful man, fall in love but be unable to marry him because of a past sin committed when single

I can't speak for women but if you chose to masturbate and a guy is not going to like it, he is just not the right guy for you. Find another.

5. You admit that masturbation is 'a selfish act driven by desire'. Surely you can see that these are not noble characteristics, and a woman is more admirable if she is not selfish or driven by desire?

I can only speak for myself here ... I rather be with a women who has an understanding of her self and what she likes and can express her wishes and desires (and share mine) than an "unselfish slave" that is only there to pleasure me. That would be a horrible life for myself if I only had a servant and not an equal to share my life with.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Define Impurity

That is a HORRIBLE reason to marry. If you are marrying to have sex, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of severe misery. It is very unlikely a marriage based and driven by just sex will be a very successful marriage in my opinion. Actually, I think sex should be one of the least motivating factors in marriage. Sure great sex always helps but there is far far faaaaaaaaar more that goes into making a marriage successful. Actually masturbation really helps to have a clear head here and pick your life-time partner more carefully rather than driven by urges or hormones.

Life-time nowadays is age 40-70 That's a lot of money spent on Kleenex during 20-40 I think it's more than just Trojan that's in on this conspiracy

[ADandelion]

Re: Define Impurity

The true victims of the greatest genocide of the modern era: sperm.