My Marriage and family....

[Worlb2]

Re: My Marriage and family....

Thank you for your input

[Worlb2]

Re: My Marriage and family....

Thank you for the post, I just can't connect with his mom and the culture difference is the main reason.

[hrai]

Re: My Marriage and family....

Thank you for the post, I just can't connect with his mom and the culture difference is the main reason.

Have you considered that you just don't get on together. Do you connect with every Armenian you know? Maybe you're using the nationality as an excuse?

[Mos]

Re: My Marriage and family....

Have you considered that you just don't get on together. Do you connect with every Armenian you know? Maybe you're using the nationality as an excuse?

Exactly. I mean how many Armenian wives get along with their husband's mother?? hahahaha...

[LadyLazarus]

Re: My Marriage and family....

Worlb2, allow me to offer a couple of observations....

First, culture is a social construct. It is created and reinforced socially. This is especially true in parenting. There have been many cases of non-Armenian children having been raised in Armenian homes, children who have grown up to become more "Armenian" at their core than many "Armenians" I know. The depth and quality of your child's Armenian identity depends largely on you as a parent. Armenian schools help--personally, I'm a fan of the work they do--but it is YOUR job as a parent to ensure that your child grows up to be the kind of Armenian you would like him/her to be. You married the man with full knowledge of his mixed roots. Be good enough to honor your commitments. And be strong enough as an Armenian woman to instill your children with your culture and identity, regardless of the circumstances you may find yourself in. THAT is a measure of being "Armenian", not your silly "100% pure Armenian" argument. THAT is how our culture has survived this long--because of every Armenian woman through the ages who bothered to raise her children to be Armenians, in the face of much greater adversity than you will find in your Armenian-assimilated mother-in-law!

Secondly, and at the risk of being wrong, I'll venture to say that there's something intrinsically wrong with your relationship with your husband. I can't imagine dating a man for two whole years without knowing something as fundamental about him as his mother's nationality! (Especially true for us Armenians, where cultural identity is so interconnected with ethnicity). Communication seems to be at a shortage. If you're having these fears, talk to him! He is your husband, your partner, your best friend. Should be anyway, heh. So talk to him.

I'll end my little quasi-rant with this. EVEN IF you run into opposition from his family to raising your children in the manner you had intended (with respect to Armenian identity), by all means, persist. And make sure you win. Consider it your duty to your roots, your ancestors, and to your people's future survival.

/rant