Originally posted by Siggie
View Post
Announcement
Collapse
Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!)
1] What you CAN NOT post.
You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this forum to post any material which is:
- abusive
- vulgar
- hateful
- harassing
- personal attacks
- obscene
You also may not:
- post images that are too large (max is 500*500px)
- post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or cited properly.
- post in UPPER CASE, which is considered yelling
- post messages which insult the Armenians, Armenian culture, traditions, etc
- post racist or other intentionally insensitive material that insults or attacks another culture (including Turks)
The Ankap thread is excluded from the strict rules because that place is more relaxed and you can vent and engage in light insults and humor. Notice it's not a blank ticket, but just a place to vent. If you go into the Ankap thread, you enter at your own risk of being clowned on.
What you PROBABLY SHOULD NOT post...
Do not post information that you will regret putting out in public. This site comes up on Google, is cached, and all of that, so be aware of that as you post. Do not ask the staff to go through and delete things that you regret making available on the web for all to see because we will not do it. Think before you post!
2] Use descriptive subject lines & research your post. This means use the SEARCH.
This reduces the chances of double-posting and it also makes it easier for people to see what they do/don't want to read. Using the search function will identify existing threads on the topic so we do not have multiple threads on the same topic.
3] Keep the focus.
Each forum has a focus on a certain topic. Questions outside the scope of a certain forum will either be moved to the appropriate forum, closed, or simply be deleted. Please post your topic in the most appropriate forum. Users that keep doing this will be warned, then banned.
4] Behave as you would in a public location.
This forum is no different than a public place. Behave yourself and act like a decent human being (i.e. be respectful). If you're unable to do so, you're not welcome here and will be made to leave.
5] Respect the authority of moderators/admins.
Public discussions of moderator/admin actions are not allowed on the forum. It is also prohibited to protest moderator actions in titles, avatars, and signatures. If you don't like something that a moderator did, PM or email the moderator and try your best to resolve the problem or difference in private.
6] Promotion of sites or products is not permitted.
Advertisements are not allowed in this venue. No blatant advertising or solicitations of or for business is prohibited.
This includes, but not limited to, personal resumes and links to products or
services with which the poster is affiliated, whether or not a fee is charged
for the product or service. Spamming, in which a user posts the same message repeatedly, is also prohibited.
7] We retain the right to remove any posts and/or Members for any reason, without prior notice.
- PLEASE READ -
Members are welcome to read posts and though we encourage your active participation in the forum, it is not required. If you do participate by posting, however, we expect that on the whole you contribute something to the forum. This means that the bulk of your posts should not be in "fun" threads (e.g. Ankap, Keep & Kill, This or That, etc.). Further, while occasionally it is appropriate to simply voice your agreement or approval, not all of your posts should be of this variety: "LOL Member213!" "I agree."
If it is evident that a member is simply posting for the sake of posting, they will be removed.
8] These Rules & Guidelines may be amended at any time. (last update September 17, 2009)
If you believe an individual is repeatedly breaking the rules, please report to admin/moderator.
You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this forum to post any material which is:
- abusive
- vulgar
- hateful
- harassing
- personal attacks
- obscene
You also may not:
- post images that are too large (max is 500*500px)
- post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or cited properly.
- post in UPPER CASE, which is considered yelling
- post messages which insult the Armenians, Armenian culture, traditions, etc
- post racist or other intentionally insensitive material that insults or attacks another culture (including Turks)
The Ankap thread is excluded from the strict rules because that place is more relaxed and you can vent and engage in light insults and humor. Notice it's not a blank ticket, but just a place to vent. If you go into the Ankap thread, you enter at your own risk of being clowned on.
What you PROBABLY SHOULD NOT post...
Do not post information that you will regret putting out in public. This site comes up on Google, is cached, and all of that, so be aware of that as you post. Do not ask the staff to go through and delete things that you regret making available on the web for all to see because we will not do it. Think before you post!
2] Use descriptive subject lines & research your post. This means use the SEARCH.
This reduces the chances of double-posting and it also makes it easier for people to see what they do/don't want to read. Using the search function will identify existing threads on the topic so we do not have multiple threads on the same topic.
3] Keep the focus.
Each forum has a focus on a certain topic. Questions outside the scope of a certain forum will either be moved to the appropriate forum, closed, or simply be deleted. Please post your topic in the most appropriate forum. Users that keep doing this will be warned, then banned.
4] Behave as you would in a public location.
This forum is no different than a public place. Behave yourself and act like a decent human being (i.e. be respectful). If you're unable to do so, you're not welcome here and will be made to leave.
5] Respect the authority of moderators/admins.
Public discussions of moderator/admin actions are not allowed on the forum. It is also prohibited to protest moderator actions in titles, avatars, and signatures. If you don't like something that a moderator did, PM or email the moderator and try your best to resolve the problem or difference in private.
6] Promotion of sites or products is not permitted.
Advertisements are not allowed in this venue. No blatant advertising or solicitations of or for business is prohibited.
This includes, but not limited to, personal resumes and links to products or
services with which the poster is affiliated, whether or not a fee is charged
for the product or service. Spamming, in which a user posts the same message repeatedly, is also prohibited.
7] We retain the right to remove any posts and/or Members for any reason, without prior notice.
- PLEASE READ -
Members are welcome to read posts and though we encourage your active participation in the forum, it is not required. If you do participate by posting, however, we expect that on the whole you contribute something to the forum. This means that the bulk of your posts should not be in "fun" threads (e.g. Ankap, Keep & Kill, This or That, etc.). Further, while occasionally it is appropriate to simply voice your agreement or approval, not all of your posts should be of this variety: "LOL Member213!" "I agree."
If it is evident that a member is simply posting for the sake of posting, they will be removed.
8] These Rules & Guidelines may be amended at any time. (last update September 17, 2009)
If you believe an individual is repeatedly breaking the rules, please report to admin/moderator.
See more
See less
What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?
Collapse
X
-
Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?
-
Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?
Originally posted by Mos View PostWell others might pick up things about that person that you might not be able to. Your parents, knowing you very well, and having more experience can also pick up such things about the person...
Leave a comment:
-
Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?
Originally posted by Siggie View PostSometimes "bad" is a matter of opinion.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?
Sometimes "bad" is a matter of opinion.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: Engagement Ring Finger
Originally posted by Siggie View PostStrawman! Stop doing that. It's at least the second or third time you're misrepresenting my position to make it easier to knock down. I didn't say to cut off all contact with your parents and only see them on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Being connected and keeping ties is one thing; giving your parents veto power over your relationships is quite another.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: Engagement Ring Finger
Originally posted by Mos View PostWhy should we separate? I never understood this. We should always keep our ties with parents, keep our parents involved in our lives, live with our parents until we start a family of our own. Of course you make your own choices, but you still remain connected to your parents/family, which is very healthy.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: Engagement Ring Finger
Originally posted by Siggie View PostWith the exception of extreme cases (abuse, drug use, etc.) it's really an unconscionable thing to do.
At some point we must separate from our parents; that level of dependency is not psychologically healthy. Autonomy.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: Engagement Ring Finger
Originally posted by Mos View Postthat process of "coming around" can take years, and in some cases may not happen leading to separation from family and/or divorce. It adds unneeded tension. Both the parents and their child should be compatible with their decisions. Meaning, both should accept, not just the son/daughter. I know cases of when a friend of mine brought a girlfriend home, the parents didn't like the girl, and so my friend dumped her a while after. Because in Armenian relationships at least, dating, and all that is done with a eye towards marriage and family, not "just having fun" and so on.
If my parents outright reject my choice, I would have no choice. I would need to dissolve the relationship. Doesn't make me cold, I just think about my future and want the best for all, because in the "name of love" when you are young, and full of emotions, you will regret the decision later on, when you see all the family troubles you have and all the tension. This can often happen.
At some point we must separate from our parents; that level of dependency is not psychologically healthy. Autonomy.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: Engagement Ring Finger
Originally posted by Siggie View PostI haven't heard of an instance yet where the parents didn't eventually come around and realize it wasn't their life and if they wanted a relationship with their son/daughter and their grandchildren, or more normal relations with the rest of the family (awkward interactions and gatherings if the other family members don't sever ties) then they need to accept the son/daughter's choices are theirs to make. I'm sure there must be some cases, but my point is, I think they're very uncommon.
I also think that it's easy to say that you would walk away. But really, you think you're going to just shrug and walk away from someone you love and otherwise want to spend the rest of your life with because mommy/daddy don't approve? I think that's really cold and I don't think you're a sociopath. And lastly, we're not talking about the arranged marriages of 10 year old children of decades past. At what point are you an adult that makes adult decisions?
If my parents outright reject my choice, I would have no choice. I would need to dissolve the relationship. Doesn't make me cold, I just think about my future and want the best for all, because in the "name of love" when you are young, and full of emotions, you will regret the decision later on, when you see all the family troubles you have and all the tension. This can often happen.
Leave a comment:
-
Re: Engagement Ring Finger
Originally posted by Mos View PostWell depends on situation. If family outright doesn't approve of the partner, doesn't approve of the marriage, then really there's no point in going through with the marriage, as at that point you are making choice between family or partner. If the family is slightly disapproving, but there's room to convince/impress, with good effort you may be able to mend the relations.
I also think that it's easy to say that you would walk away. But really, you think you're going to just shrug and walk away from someone you love and otherwise want to spend the rest of your life with because mommy/daddy don't approve? I think that's really cold and I don't think you're a sociopath. And lastly, we're not talking about the arranged marriages of 10 year old children of decades past. At what point are you an adult that makes adult decisions?
Leave a comment:
Leave a comment: