Dilemma

[Darorinag]

OK, I realise this is my second consecutive post in like an hour, but I'm curious about this, and wanted to ask, not sure if there has been a thread about this before.. anyway..

Hypothetical situation:

You meet person X on a forum, have discussions about a topic you're both interested in, and X PMs you and says a coupla things, and then asks if you have MSN. You say yes and give him your MSN address. So then X mssges you on MSN, and you talk and get to know each other better. You seem to be in love with him already without having seen him (the way he talks, etc. - and btw, I'm talking about talking with X for a week or so). And then X asks you if you wanna go out and see a movie together. You say yes. X sends you a pic of herself/himself, so that you know who you're talking to before you meet X. And well, it turns out that X's looks don't coincide with your imagined version. In other words, you are "disappointed."

What do you do? Do you go out with X anyway? Even if you know that you won't be "dating" X afterwards? Is it worse to give X hope, or is it worse to hurt X and say you're not interested after the pic was sent, despite the fact that you said you would've loved to go out with X before X sent the pic? If you say you don't wanna go out with X, does that mean you're a materialistic b*tch? Is it rude? And if you say yes, and want it to be a one-time thing and just be friends, how do you do that without hurting his feelings? What do you say?

And don't tell me looks aren't important. They are, to a certain extent. Quite important in my opinion. Unless you're having a one-night-stand thing. I mean, this could be a situation where you might end up spending the rest of your life with person X.

[dusken]

Sexual attraction is always important. It means you are human, not a b!tch. I did not blame women for the lack of attention stemming from my average looks.

However, I would say go out with X and find a different reason to not date afterwards. Something like, "I was just dating someone and we decided to commit".

[Darorinag]

Yes, but it's goddamn difficult to say that... Oh well, I'm too nice, I guess... Story of my life. I always end up losing because I'm too nice and don't wanna hurt anyone.. Hence why I always end up in awkward situations.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask this as a hypothetical situation, it has happened to me before, and i wanted to know what people thought about it. A lot of people go along with the propaganda that "looks don't matter"... I never agreed with that position. Anyway, if people will call me a xxxx because of that, then so be it...

[Anonymouse]

OK, I realise this is my second consecutive post in like an hour, but I'm curious about this, and wanted to ask, not sure if there has been a thread about this before.. anyway..

Hypothetical situation:

You meet person X on a forum, have discussions about a topic you're both interested in, and X PMs you and says a coupla things, and then asks if you have MSN. You say yes and give him your MSN address. So then X mssges you on MSN, and you talk and get to know each other better. You seem to be in love with him already without having seen him (the way he talks, etc. - and btw, I'm talking about talking with X for a week or so). And then X asks you if you wanna go out and see a movie together. You say yes. X sends you a pic of herself/himself, so that you know who you're talking to before you meet X. And well, it turns out that X's looks don't coincide with your imagined version. In other words, you are "disappointed."

What do you do?

Well, since it's the internet, you tell Mr. X to send you another persons picture to increase your chances of attraction.

[Darorinag]

Well, since it's the internet, you tell Mr. X to send you another persons picture to increase your chances of attraction.

i'm talking about real life meeting, duh.

[Anonymouse]

Yea but he is sending you pictures online. Make sure to tell him to send you a picture of someone who is attractive.

[Darorinag]

And what for? I'm gonna find out eventually, when I meet him, aren't I?

[Anonymouse]

Shut up or I'll squish your head!

[Darorinag]

You know, the feature of kicking someone out of one's own thread would be grand.

But anyway, I wouldn't kick you out of my threads. After all, we have a common cause, the mouse cause, right, Mousey?

[loseyourname]

Dan, make it clear from the beginning you are not interested in being anything more than friends. xxxx, just tell him you don't find him attractive. I can't think of any time I've had to let a girl down in that manner in which she refused to even hang out with me. It's best to just be honest. Don't play games and don't ever settle for someone you don't find attractive.