What are some of the romantic things anyone has done for you?

[hyebruin]

I've done a few romantic things for the b/f. This may still hold some truth since there are so many women in the world who expect to be pampered and taken care of and are so wrapped in themselves that they never think to do something special for the one they love.

yeah i know what you mean but i've done those nice things for the wrong guys everything from being kind and supportive and nurturing to baking for them and getting them thoughtful gifts... pigs don't appreciate none of that shiiit! so now i just don't give a f---

[Sip]

That is all of course to appear quite masculine, indifferent and in control of their emotions when it comes to more sensitive subjects. It’s is just funny to watch this display of a pompous behavior.

So if I understand your thesis correctly, you maintain that the boys are actually trying to "appear masculine" which seems to suggest they are not masculine? Isn't masculinity by definition "of or relating to boys"?

I suspect you are viewing this topic with your own gender glasses on. Try to see it from a boy's perspective.

I believe what is "romantic" about these rediculous romantic gestures such as putting notes in library books and throwing flower petals everywhere is the fact that it is such a rediculous activity yet the boy does it! In other words, it's not the romantic act itself which is important but the fact that the guy goes through the whole courtship process while making a complete fool of himself in the process which seems to appeal to the females so much.

[hyebruin]

i just want a man who doesn't have gay tendencies and worships me from head allll the way to and including the toes ---this ain't the 1800's; no romantic notions exist these days (for the most part)

[fIReBuRntInHeLL]

Romantic things count only when the relationship is stable, when u break up el inch romance el inch ser....

[loseyourname]

i just want a man who doesn't have gay tendencies and worships me from head allll the way to and including the toes ---this ain't the 1800's; no romantic notions exist these days (for the most part)

Unless you're ugly, I can't understand why you're having so much difficulty finding this.

[hyebruin]

Unless you're ugly, I can't understand why you're having so much difficulty finding this.

that's right you cannot possibility understand and i'm not about to explain it to you either

[anileve]

Bruin, I don't really like to make comments of such nature, since they might sound rather harsh. But for god's sake, 97% of your posts have been complaints about men, by no means am I restricting your “freedom of speech”, but surely enough you have other interests besides this abused subject. If the situation is so bad why not focus on yourself and the things you are trying to achieve, rather than continuously expressing your dissatisfaction with something you obviously can't change? The moment you stop making men the center of your universe perhaps the right sort of guy will come along and we will experience a transformation of your views. I for one will throw a big party in your honor to celebrate such an event.

P.S. Just as the women of this forum don't like to hear “cavemen” philosophy about women from the more traditional “men” of the forum, so do the men when it comes to hearing consistent bashing of their gender and demeaning if not overly magnified generalizations.

[hyebruin]

Bruin, I don't really like to make comments of such nature, since they might sound rather harsh. But for god's sake, 97% of your posts have been complaints about men, by no means am I restricting your “freedom of speech”, but surely enough you have other interests besides this abused subject. If the situation is so bad why not focus on yourself and the things you are trying to achieve, rather than continuously expressing your dissatisfaction with something you obviously can't change? The moment you stop making men the center of your universe perhaps the right sort of guy will come along and we will experience a transformation of your views. I for one will throw a big party in your honor to celebrate such an event.

P.S. Just as the women of this forum don't like to hear “cavemen” philosophy about women from the more traditional “men” of the forum, so do the men when it comes to hearing consistent bashing of their gender and demeaning if not overly magnified generalizations.

excuse me!!! but when did i start "bahsing" men?? maybe in some of the earlier posts it might have come off that way, but i was just responding to that knucklehead's post there! and all i've said on THIS LAST PAGE here is how romantic notions are dying off...how is THAT attacking men? maybe you and others should stop zooming in and dissecting and psychoanalyzing my posts; i don't give a hoot what you people post! as disturbing as it may be at times and have no intentions of "correcting you"...are y'alll some kind of control freaks???

[anileve]

So if I understand your thesis correctly, you maintain that the boys are actually trying to "appear masculine" which seems to suggest they are not masculine? Isn't masculinity by definition "of or relating to boys"?

I suspect you are viewing this topic with your own gender glasses on. Try to see it from a boy's perspective.

I believe what is "romantic" about these rediculous romantic gestures such as putting notes in library books and throwing flower petals everywhere is the fact that it is such a rediculous activity yet the boy does it! In other words, it's not the romantic act itself which is important but the fact that the guy goes through the whole courtship process while making a complete fool of himself in the process which seems to appeal to the females so much.

It is clear that you've neglected the essence of romanticism, which is characterized by an emphasis on the individual's expression of emotion and imagination. And those “ridiculous” romantic gestures one does for the other are some of the examples of such expression. Moreover, such gestures should be expressed with a consideration of what is pleasing to her/his partner, rather than his own belief in what one finds suitable for himself. As an example, eliminating gender brackets, it is absurd for a baseball lover to give a passionate gardener who is indifferent to the sport, a baseball bat. It is common sense. But in order for one not to recall false moves, he/she must understand what interests their partner.

If, for example, you feel that flowers are stupid and your partner adores flowers, it is irrational to think that you shouldn't give flowers to her because you find it ultra traditional and superficial. You are not the one receiving that gesture of affection. Similarly if you despise flowers, it would be moronic for your girlfriend to give you daisies, since it would be based on the premises of her personal interest. Courtship does not only appeal to females, males are drawn to it just as much, but perhaps notice it very little. And once again an exchange in courtship between males and females is not the same, due to the dictated gender characteristics prescribed to them at birth. Although that is not to say that the thinking process is not inherently the same in males and females, however the execution differs therefore it splits into gender oriented behavior, which at times is typical of generalizations which have been established.

As for your comment on “masculinity”, it holds no concrete definition, except for the the socially accepted one. It simply means of male character, which is precisely what I was getting at. The boys are so engulfed by appearing male that they surrender to the stereotype perhaps subconsciously, even though often they try to protest the common conception of what they are supposed to represent. It would be refreshing to see people act as individuals rather than stock characters.

My post was a simple observation of differences in the behavior of both sexes, and the traditional concepts which immediately surface once the emotional mill starts spinning. So no need to attribute it to my bias opinions due to the "gender glasses" through which you claim I subjectively make conclusions.

[PASAMONSTER]

You know romance is like love and like beauty. it is in the eye of the beholder. So I say to each their own. Maybe I find writing I love you with dripping candle wax on my chest romantic, and maybe some don't.