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Need Advice

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  • #1

    Need Advice

    About a week ago, a girl i was going out with for about 2 weeks broke up with me. For reasons that id rather not go into right now. Well the day we broke up, she kept insisting on how she doesnt want me to think that her feelings for me changed and shed still like to be friends and be friends with my friends and all that xxxx. We left that day with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, which i really want too keen for but i gave anyway becaue im not the type of guy who likes to act all hurt and angry. the thing is ive known her for about a year now and she has known my friends too. Well as you can imagine i dont really enjoy her company half as much as i used to but well shes always around, my friends know her and im not the type of guy to ignore someone or get my friends to stop hanging out with her, and everytime i see her she comes up for a kiss on the cheek and all this xxxx, i dont want to seem like an angry bastard but then again i dont want her to htink that i was especially enthused with her impromptu breakup considering she is the one who initiated the relationship. Any advice on how to get her to understand how i feel?
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  • #2
    How about if you tell her what you just told us? What's wrong with a little bit of truth once in a while? You are tolerating her break-up for the sake of the friendship, and you don't want to be chilly towards her or pouty about how things ended (understandably), but you are really not obliged to be OMG like totally best friends all of a sudden. You don't want her to come hug and say hi and kiss you on the cheek then request that she respect your space and the fact that you're allowed to feel how you're feeling. Perhaps allow you to 'get over it' even though get over it might imply stronger feelings than you had, but the fact is you had feelings and if she doesn't oblige to your request then she isn't respecting whatever feelings you had.
    The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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    • #3
      Originally posted by ckBejug
      How about if you tell her what you just told us? What's wrong with a little bit of truth once in a while? You are tolerating her break-up for the sake of the friendship, and you don't want to be chilly towards her or pouty about how things ended (understandably), but you are really not obliged to be OMG like totally best friends all of a sudden. You don't want her to come hug and say hi and kiss you on the cheek then request that she respect your space and the fact that you're allowed to feel how you're feeling. Perhaps allow you to 'get over it' even though get over it might imply stronger feelings than you had, but the fact is you had feelings and if she doesn't oblige to your request then she isn't respecting whatever feelings you had.
      Beautifully put. I totally agree.

      On another note, she could be also liking one of your friends so don't be surprised if she hooks up with one of them. Just be emotionally prepared for it.

      But like CK said, clear up your feelings with her first.

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      • #4
        You are completely right. I dont know if you know what i mean but after a breakup it isnt the easiest to open up to someone again, its like a lesson learned subconsiously, you opened up to a person then got f*cked.
        I guess i just have to overcome my fears and have a convo with her, the fact is though i just wished she would understand this hsit withut me having to explain this xxxx, but shes a really nice polite girl and im sure its weird for her too but she just doesnt want to make me feel like she has anything against me so she tries extra hard to be nice.ahh what can i say. she was actually one of the few girls who i liked on more than 1 level. as shallow and immature as that might sound.

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        • #5
          Eh well, all my friends have girls, but i do know theyd "like to hit that". but im sure they wouldnt hook up with her or i wouldnt find out if they did if only it was out of consideration for me.

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          • #6
            You should get another chick immediately and make sure she see's you. Kissing preferred, otherwise just as good.
            Achkerov kute.

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            • #7
              I think people should stop 'feeling' so much.

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              • #8
                bad times man. What should you do?... kill yourself. That' s just my advice though. *shrugs.

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                • #9
                  Find a new boyfriend, ignore her completely.

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                  • #10
                    be frank, be bold
                    if you ham and hew, both of u would get confused messages. dont play mean, but be honest. i hate the stupid "should i tell her" thingies. when people dont understand hints, more stricter measures are required.

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