The "Let's Talk About Anything but Hair Styles" Thread

[loseyourname]

If he's done something wrong he shouldn't be bullheaded about it and try being truly apologetic for a change. I hate it when guys are bullheaded and refuse to even acknowledge that they might be wrong.

Can't you see how unfair this is, though? You're being the thought police. It isn't enough that a man acts a certain way to please, he actually has to think the way you think? Come on! Human beings are autonomous organisms that are bound to disagree on things from time to time. If the guy isn't apologetic, that's that. He isn't a two-year whose sense of morality needs to molded so as to match yours. He's an adult who has reasoned things out (fallaciously or otherwise) and come to the conclusion that he has nothing to be sorry about. If you don't like that he isn't sorry about certain things, then date someone who is sorry about those things.

[ckBejug]

Can't you see how unfair this is, though? You're being the thought police. It isn't enough that a man acts a certain way to please, he actually has to think the way you think? Come on! Human beings are autonomous organisms that are bound to disagree on things from time to time. If the guy isn't apologetic, that's that. He isn't a two-year whose sense of morality needs to molded so as to match yours. He's an adult who has reasoned things out (fallaciously or otherwise) and come to the conclusion that he has nothing to be sorry about. If you don't like that he isn't sorry about certain things, then date someone who is sorry about those things.

I'm not talking about things that are right or wrong, according to interpretation. I am talking about cut and dry right or wrong. Sometimes people are too stubborn to see that they might be wrong. Believe me, there have been plenty of times when I've been fuming and wish my bf would admit he's wrong, but I'm not going to make him apologize because I know that the way he interpreted the situation he wasn't in the wrong at all. So we just agree to disagree and drop it rather than arguing pointlessly.

[Siggie]

Yeah, but the thing, what's a guy supposed to do when he's genuinely unapologetic? He has two options - he can continue to be openly unapologetic, or he can give a vacant apology. Either way, you'll be mad. So what's he supposed to do?

He doesn't have to apologize. I'd rather have him stand his ground and deny that he's wrong than give me a vacant apology because then he doesn't care either.

[loseyourname]

He doesn't have to apologize. I'd rather have him stand his ground and deny that he's wrong than give me a vacant apology because then he doesn't care either.

Awesome. You'd love me - I almost never apologize.

[loseyourname]

Believe me, there have been plenty of times when I've been fuming and wish my bf would admit he's wrong, but I'm not going to make him apologize because I know that the way he interpreted the situation he wasn't in the wrong at all. So we just agree to disagree and drop it rather than arguing pointlessly.

Well, heck, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Did I ever tell you you're the perfect woman?

[ckBejug]

Well, heck, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyway I suppose if arguments never arise in your relationship, that also might not be a good thing. Arguments can add a little spice, and help you learn more about each other and how far you can be pushed and how hard you're willing to fight for a relationship. Which is what I think makes Siggie mad about empty apologies. Fight for it, damn it! Don't just resign yourself to an empty apology to make us shut up. As well, making up can be very fun.

[ckBejug]

Awesome. You'd love me - I almost never apologize.

Even sometimes when you should apologize.

[Siggie]

Awesome. You'd love me - I almost never apologize.

Ha! I didn't say I'd love it. I said I'd prefer it to a fake apology.

[Siggie]

Anyway I suppose if arguments never arise in your relationship, that also might not be a good thing. Arguments can add a little spice, and help you learn more about each other and how far you can be pushed and how hard you're willing to fight for a relationship. Which is what I think makes Siggie mad about empty apologies. Fight for it, damn it! Don't just resign yourself to an empty apology to make us shut up. As well, making up can be very fun.

Exactly. It's okay to disagree. Just because two people are a couple doesn't mean they should have identical thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. How boring would that be?