Falling in Love

[loseyourname]

Okay - this keeps getting brought up in every other thread, but it doesn't seem to have ever been discussed in depth. So what are your thoughts on falling in love?

Have you ever been in love? How do you know that it's really love? Would you do it/do it again? Do you think you even have any choice in the matter? Does love scare you?

And of course, I will get around to posting my own thoughts on the matter, even though I have said a lot about it on other threads.

[TigranJamharian]

There is no such thing we are all animals and are following our instincts(i remembered the word). forget about love and just have fun

[loseyourname]

Is there no instinct for being attracted to one person and one person alone to the extent that it will keep a family together, enhance the survival chances of offspring, and keep the gene pool going? Surely women at least must have this instinct.

If this instinct does exist, then we would have no choice but to fall in love, but it would still happen

[libra98k]

men have to very strong emotionaly to control their " falling in love crap".

[Anonymouse]

I dont know about "falling in love" but I've sort of been on the edge of the plate of love and tasted it.

It was a bit sweet yet sour, sort of like sweet torture. Sound confusing?

[patlajan]

We're also ignoring other kinds of love besides the romantic kind. All of you probably love somebody. So I'm going to say yes there is such a thing as love.

[whitelotus]

ive loved in all forms

but now speaking romantically...

yes ive fallen in love once. i know its love because its nothing ive ever felt before, ive felt infatuation, obsession, lust, whole 9 yards. But when you cannot think, sleep, nor eat without thinking about someone, where you cry, when you cannot imagine your life or future without them, when there name resounds in your head.Its a beautiful thing, but its also extremly painful, it left a lot of scars on my heart, i like the idea but i also hate it a great deal.

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by patlajan We're also ignoring other kinds of love besides the romantic kind. All of you probably love somebody. So I'm going to say yes there is such a thing as love.

So love is an emotion or a feeling? Hmm something you cannot prove scientifically? Gee I wonder what it is and how it got here.

[ckBejug]

How's this for scientific fact. A person who has a broken heart can actually feel physical pain. And I'm not just talking people like me who love to have psychosomatic manifestations of emotional pain in the form of physical pain like a stomach ache. I'm talking honest to God your heart hurts, your body hurts. Yeah, yup. I will try to find the article and post it if anyone is interested. Is it strange that after all that we still want to be in love again? Yeah. Like I said before... The ends more than justifies the means (and then some) and all the hurt it takes to get there.

[loseyourname]

ck, I could not eat without getting terribly sick, I could go to sleep just fine but never slept more than three hours, and I couldn't sit or walk around without shaking - all in all, a pathetic mess. But hey, it only lasted a couple of weeks. It was worth it to be in love.

[ckBejug]

Guess what loseyourname we're going to Mars sooner than we'd previously imagined! (http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.html) ;) ;)

[sSsflamesSs]

I've never been in love romantically, but I do believe that it exists.

On the other hand, we are, after all, animals. :D

"You and me, baby, are nothing but mammals, so let's do it..."

[Emil]

The novelist George Sand said it best "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” That's all I have to say.

[violette829]

"The greatest thing, U'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return" Hey do yall remember that song from Moulin Rouge? It was beautiful...I dunno if there's an original to that song, but Celine Dion has a re-make of it on her last album...VERRY NICE..I think it's the perfect song for the 1st dance at a wedding!:( Always the bridemaid..never the bride:o

[ckBejug]

Hehe. You know what is a PERFECT wedding song???

At Last- Etta James

At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song

At last
The sky above is blue
My heart was wrapped in clover
The night I looked at you

I found a dream
That I could speak to
A dream that I
Can call my own
I found a thrill
To press my cheek to
A thrill that I
Have never ever known

You, you smiled
And then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine at last

I found a dream
I found a dream
That I could speak to, baby
A dream that I
Can definitely call my own
I found a thrill
I found a thrill
To press my cheek to
To press my cheek to
A thrill that I
Have never ever known

You smiled
You smiled, baby
And then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
Yeah, yeah, yeah
For you are mine
At last
You are mine at last
At last
You're mine, baby

Makes me feel like putting on a princess-y white dress.... Hehe

[violette829]

cK........that is my FAV. love song...and just the other day, I was listening to it, thinking that it would be PERFECT at my wedding(a girl can only hope..) So cute!:)

[ckBejug]

Originally posted by violette829 cK........that is my FAV. love song...and just the other day, I was listening to it, thinking that it would be PERFECT at my wedding(a girl can only hope..) So cute!:)

Ok, so my brother, try to deny it he does, ALSO gets a little faraway look in his eye when this song comes on. Now if only your brother thinks it's a good song too, then well our double, uhm, wedding? is good to go. lol!!

I hear LOTS of great things about barsgahaye guys, it'd be interesting to see how much of it is true. :D

[violette829]

DOUBLE WEDDING!!!!!!! Sounds awesome honey! lol....Parskahye guys are nice, but there are good ones and bad ones. They might be sweet, but they have a bad reputation for playing girls....Not to say that my brother does that. He's great!:D

[loseyourname]

Originally posted by ckBejug Guess what loseyourname we're going to Mars sooner than we'd previously imagined! (http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.html) ;) ;)

My rocket's primed and ready to go.

[SexyAries]

CK i was reading violette's post about the perfect song and i was thinking Etta James in my head and then sure enough there it was! Love that song!

Story time.........

My boyfriend decided to take me out for the new years since he is broke and couldnt get me anything, (poor thing, he should know i dont care) so he picked me up, blind-folded me and took me somewhere, made me wait and when he took the blind-fold off there were candles, rose peddles, and this incredable view. Then the song came on, my favorite song AT LAST, he asked me to dance and we danced till 2 in da morning!

Love, it is such a short word with such long meanings. Its been asked many times what the meaning of life is, for me its to love and be loved.

[ckBejug]

Originally posted by SexyAries CK i was reading violette's post about the perfect song and i was thinking Etta James in my head and then sure enough there it was! Love that song!

Story time.........

My boyfriend decided to take me out for the new years since he is broke and couldnt get me anything, (poor thing, he should know i dont care) so he picked me up, blind-folded me and took me somewhere, made me wait and when he took the blind-fold off there were candles, rose peddles, and this incredable view. Then the song came on, my favorite song AT LAST, he asked me to dance and we danced till 2 in da morning!

Love, it is such a short word with such long meanings. Its been asked many times what the meaning of life is, for me its to love and be loved.

awwwwwwwwww. I'm glad things are finally looking up for you! You bf gets like a check plus plus plus in my book. Any guy who can be that thoughtful is something alright. How much richer do you feel now than if he had just bought something? Granted buying things can be thoughtful and stuff too, but seriously guys don't get that the BEST gifts don't come with a high $$$$$$$$$$ price tag...... I'm glad for you =)

[SexyAries]

Thank you sweetheart! I feel incredible with him and i feel lonely without him, so im hoping i will grow to love him.

[loseyourname]

Originally posted by SexyAries Thank you sweetheart! I feel incredible with him and i feel lonely without him, so im hoping i will grow to love him.

Perhaps you can grow to love yourself. That is far more important. Perhaps I am getting the wrong impression, but you seem pretty damn lovable.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by sSsflamesSs I've never been in love romantically, but I do believe that it exists.

On the other hand, we are, after all, animals. :D

"You and me, baby, are nothing but mammals, so let's do it..."

I disagree: we have the reason, so we tend to understand what we feel, but we never understand.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by whitelotus ive loved in all forms

but now speaking romantically...

yes ive fallen in love once. i know its love because its nothing ive ever felt before, ive felt infatuation, obsession, lust, whole 9 yards. But when you cannot think, sleep, nor eat without thinking about someone, where you cry, when you cannot imagine your life or future without them, when there name resounds in your head.Its a beautiful thing, but its also extremly painful, it left a lot of scars on my heart, i like the idea but i also hate it a great deal.

We can't understand exactly what's happening on the moment.

Maybe love is defined after the end, when this kind of physical dependence is appearing. You are sad and crying, you simply don't understand why, 2 cases:
- you are in jail and every body is abusing you
- you're in love
Love is a notion defined by its end.



By the way, we can't choose to fall in love. The only thing we may do to avoid such a pain is to live alone, to refuse dating, to refuse looking at or interserting ourselves to other people, ... to lie to ourselves by denying all our feeling.


I have a question:
In what extent love is tied to our conception of freedom ?

[SexyAries]

I do love myself, what gave you the impression i don't?:)

[sSsflamesSs]

Originally posted by felizitation I disagree: we have the reason, so we tend to understand what we feel, but we never understand.

Did you just contradict yourself? :confused:

[felizitation]

Originally posted by sSsflamesSs Did you just contradict yourself? :confused:

I may speak slowly :)
I was saying that, since we have the reason (contrary to animals), we are always trying to intellectualise our feelings.

The point is that feeling/passions are, by their nature, impossible to be intellectualized.



Dont' you see any improvement in my english ?

[jahannam]

Originally posted by libra98k men have to very strong emotionaly to control their " falling in love crap".

I don't do this often so you guys enjoy.
LIBRA98K you have successfully proven to be a very stupid person.
and i haven't even STARTED discussing your avatars yet!
:eek:

[Arvestaked]

Originally posted by jahannam I don't do this often so you guys enjoy.
LIBRA98K you have successfully proven to be a very stupid person.
and i haven't even STARTED discussing your avatars yet!
:eek:

You are so funny. :)

[sSsflamesSs]

Originally posted by felizitation I may speak slowly :)
I was saying that, since we have the reason (contrary to animals), we are always trying to intellectualise our feelings.

The point is that feeling/passions are, by their nature, impossible to be intellectualized.



Dont' you see any improvement in my english ?

I think I understood you the first time, but wasn't sure because of the way you put your words. :p

As far as your English goes, you have nothing to worry about. :)

And by the way, I agree with what you said.

[jahannam]

Originally posted by felizitation
In what extent love is tied to our conception of freedom ?

good question.
might even be in its own thread.
in my opinion, the connection between love and freedom is strong. when you're ready to love someone, you're willing to give up a lot of your own freedom. and freedom is the only reason for people who are "scared" of love to deny love.
and this is where males and females differ psychologically when it comes to love.
males seem to be much more willing to keep their freedom by not being tied to anyone.
Personal Freedom has always been most important to guys.
but in my case, per say, I'm free when I'm happy. and I'm happy when I've found someone I can make happy who makes me happy back!
I mean there CAN NOT be a better feeling. it's just too bad I don't know what that feeling is like.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam it's just too bad I don't know what that feeling is like.

I said : "Love is a notion defined by its end".
Sad but true.

I'm preparing a long long answer in my mind, but I really really have to work now...

[jahannam]

Originally posted by felizitation I said : "Love is a notion defined by its end".
Sad but true.


I don't know what you mean.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam I don't know what you mean.

I meant you're unable to say if you are in love during the "love".

You may say "I was in love".
What makes you understand you were in love is that you lost sthg/s.one.

That is why I said love is defined by its end, implying the end of what create love.

[jahannam]

hmmm
interesting
I've written a research paper about that , but about happiness.
you can never know you're happy when you're happy.
we only REMEMBER being happy, we don't LIVE it.
so you're saying love is a memory also?
I duno... I'll think about it, and I"ll get back to you.
nice theory though.

[xBaron Dants]

Originally posted by jahannam .
you can never know you're happy when you're happy.
we only REMEMBER being happy, we don't LIVE it.


Very debatable...There have been many times when I was happy and I knew that I was so.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam hmmm
interesting
I've written a research paper about that , but about happiness.
you can never know you're happy when you're happy.
we only REMEMBER being happy, we don't LIVE it.
so you're saying love is a memory also?
I duno... I'll think about it, and I"ll get back to you.
nice theory though.

Not exactly a memory, but a changing state. Human kind only notice the changing states ...
By the way, I don't believe in human happiness, what we are living is just a set of satisfactions.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by Baron Dants Very debatable...There have been many times when I was happy and I knew that I was so.

I own this, but I've never had the time nor the courage to pass the 8th page:

http://www.amazon.fr/exec/obidos/ASIN/2130488404/402-2238945-2487365

It contains EVERY answers concerning what we may wonder about happyness.

[jahannam]

Originally posted by Baron Dants Very debatable...There have been many times when I was happy and I knew that I was so.
and you stood there, thinking "wow I'm' happy"???
IIIII don't think so.

[jahannam]

Originally posted by felizitation I own this, but I've never had the time nor the courage to pass the 8th page:

http://www.amazon.fr/exec/obidos/ASIN/2130488404/402-2238945-2487365

It contains EVERY answers concerning what we may wonder about happyness.

hahhahahhahahhaha
I didn't know tehre's french AMAZON lol
that's like as good as chinese to me!
hehe... but thanx for the effort

[xBaron Dants]

Originally posted by jahannam and you stood there, thinking "wow I'm' happy"???
IIIII don't think so.

Actually, yes.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam and you stood there, thinking "wow I'm' happy"???
IIIII don't think so.

Out of scope, but happyness is a constancy once reached. You can't be less happy after having touched happyness, since this only idea will make you less "happy".

By the way, you can't say "more happy" or "less happy", this would lead to breed the idea of "absolut" happyness

[jahannam]

feliz.. you're getting too philosophical here...
I wish I'd known more.
I dunno what to say.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam hahhahahhahahhaha
I didn't know tehre's french AMAZON lol
that's like as good as chinese to me!
hehe... but thanx for the effort

:) there are also french cars, french armenians, french techno music, french porno stars, french statue of liberty ...

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam feliz.. you're getting too philosophical here...
I wish I'd known more.
I dunno what to say.

Ok sorry I go back to work ... :(

[xBaron Dants]

Originally posted by felizitation :) there are also french cars, french armenians, french techno music, french porno stars, french statue of liberty ...

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I like....I like a lot!
Akh, where have you been all this time feliz jan?

[jahannam]

ok great... make fun of me lol
SHAD Kesh ek
I know there's french everything DUDE
I I gotta say... the french armos that i've met are
OH MY GOD
and i'm not only talking looks here, I mean personality also.
but anyway
Amazon.com is a freakin English website... I didn't know they have it in other languages.
but hey... FINE
you french knowers... BASH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

P.S.I feel the obligation to mention here that I TRULY melt when a deep voiced frenchman speaks french.
and no baron, it's not the same when a CANADIAN is trying to speak French the "wanna be french" way :D :D

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam P.S.I feel the obligation to mention here that I TRULY melt when a deep voiced frenchman speaks french....

Same feeling when hearing the late Mr Barry White

(oops! were you expecting me to say sthing about american women ?)

[xBaron Dants]

Originally posted by jahannam ok great... make fun of me lol
SHAD Kesh ek
I know there's french everything DUDE
I I gotta say... the french armos that i've met are
OH MY GOD
and i'm not only talking looks here, I mean personality also.
but anyway
Amazon.com is a freakin English website... I didn't know they have it in other languages.
but hey... FINE
you french knowers... BASH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

P.S.I feel the obligation to mention here that I TRULY melt when a deep voiced frenchman speaks french.
and no baron, it's not the same when a CANADIAN is trying to speak French the "wanna be french" way :D :D

I'm not canadian. I'M armenian. ;)

And I'm not really looking for you to melt either.......plenty of better fish in the sea. oo, ouch! sorry sorry, just kidding.

You know, I think they also have sidewalks and garbage cans in France, but I COULD be wrong! :p

[felizitation]

Originally posted by Baron Dants .......plenty of better fish in the sea. oo, ouch! sorry sorry, just kidding.

Aman !!! Keshes !!! :D :D :D
But it's not evenly matched, Dantzig, ...

[Emil]

Originally posted by Baron Dants I'm not

And I'm not really looking for you to melt either.......plenty of better fish in the sea. oo, ouch! sorry sorry, just kidding.



Now, THAT was funny. :D

[xBaron Dants]

Originally posted by Emil Now, THAT was funny. :D

OOOOOO, I got the moderator's suppooooort! NANI NANI BOO BOO!!

heh, you kick derrière Emil. And since we're in the love forum, I LOVE YOU!!!!

ok, I went too far there...

[Emil]

Originally posted by Baron Dants OOOOOO, I got the moderator's suppooooort! NANI NANI BOO BOO!!

heh, you kick derrière Emil. And since we're in the love forum, I LOVE YOU!!!!

ok, I went too far there...

Baron,

You're my brother from another mother that I never had. :D

[ckBejug]

Raffi.... felizitation.... Jahannamig vous aime.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by ckBejug Raffi.... felizitation.... Jahannamig vous aime.

Intch gesses ?
I'm sending her the mariage contract...

[ckBejug]

Originally posted by felizitation Intch gesses ?
I'm sending her the mariage contract...

Didn't I just say she likes you? I thought that's what I said...

[felizitation]

Originally posted by ckBejug Didn't I just say she likes you? I thought that's what I said...

You should have said "Jahannamig vous aime bien" to put some nuance. "Jahannamig vous aime" = "Jahannamig LOVES you"

I like every girl. I love mama.

[loseyourname]

Come on guys. I meant this seriously. The only people that actually talked about falling in love were Tigran and Libra. Don't any of you have a conflicting viewpoint. Women especially - presumably you have something positive to say about the phenomenon.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by felizitation We can't understand exactly what's happening on the moment.

Maybe love is defined after the end, when this kind of physical dependence is appearing. You are sad and crying, you simply don't understand why, 2 cases:
- you are in jail and every body is abusing you
- you're in love
Love is a notion defined by its end.



By the way, we can't choose to fall in love. The only thing we may do to avoid such a pain is to live alone, to refuse dating, to refuse looking at or interserting ourselves to other people, ... to lie to ourselves by denying all our feeling.


I have a question:
In what extent love is tied to our conception of freedom ?

Quoting myself, such a pleasure ...

I do not believe in love. I associate it to a lack of maturity, to the best way to "feel" sthg for someone without knowing anything of the concerned person. It's also a way to justify our animal needs.
It is the greatest fakeness a human brain has ever created.

Falling in love is also a will of dependance, regarding shtg or someone, in order to be freed from ourselves. Because simply Men can't bear the idea to have a reduced field of freedom, but their will does not sustain this idea.

I'm expecting your reactions (just forget the last threads). So dude, do I sollicitated your fingers ? (without any off-color allusions of any kind)

[loseyourname]

Originally posted by felizitation Quoting myself, such a pleasure ...

I do not believe in love. I associate it to a lack of maturity, to the best way to "feel" sthg for someone without knowing anything of the concerned person. It's also a way to justify our animal needs.
It is the greatest fakeness a human brain has ever created.

Falling in love is also a will of dependance, regarding shtg or someone, in order to be freed from ourselves. Because simply Men can't bear the idea to have a reduced field of freedom, but their will does not sustain this idea.

I'm expecting your reactions (just forget the last threads). So dude, do I sollicitated your fingers ? (without any off-color allusions of any kind)

I don't have the slightest clue what you mean by soliciting my fingers (I'm assuming that's the word you meant to use - correct me if I'm wrong).

I don't see how you can say love is immature. Falling in love prematurely and stupidly, maybe. But love itself is far different. I don't really think there can be much doubt that it exists. People certainly have feelings toward other people that can cause them to behave in ways they otherwise would not behave, ways that can arguably make them a better person, at least better to the object of the feelings. Love, however, is far more than just a feeling. Love is a committment, a conscious act of will, as you said, to treat a person as they want to be treated, as is best for their spiritual nourishment, even if the feelings may waver sometimes. Let's face it, feelings are very fickle - they come and go, but in the best relationships, they always come back, and neither party freaks out when they're not there.

Falling in love is an act of dependence. It is an acknowledgement that no matter how happy one may be alone, how productive, how complete, they will be more so with someone else. I'm all about independence, and I can certainly get by on my own with the best of them, but you know what? I don't want to? Life can be wonderful alone, but it so much sweeter with that special someone to share it with. Humans are still social animals, and we need that intimacy. Don't discount the feeling or the act just because it may have an instinctual basis. The origin of love is not relevant to the conversation here. The existence is. You seem to not realize that by describing in relative depth what you think it may be, you are acknowledging that it is there. Don't think so much, and run with it. There are things a woman can give that a man can never give himself.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by loseyourname I don't have the slightest clue what you mean by soliciting my fingers (I'm assuming that's the word you meant to use - correct me if I'm wrong).

I don't see how you can say love is immature. Falling in love prematurely and stupidly, maybe. But love itself is far different. I don't really think there can be much doubt that it exists. People certainly have feelings toward other people that can cause them to behave in ways they otherwise would not behave, ways that can arguably make them a better person, at least better to the object of the feelings. Love, however, is far more than just a feeling. Love is a committment, a conscious act of will, as you said, to treat a person as they want to be treated, as is best for their spiritual nourishment, even if the feelings may waver sometimes. Let's face it, feelings are very fickle - they come and go, but in the best relationships, they always come back, and neither party freaks out when they're not there.

Falling in love is an act of dependence. It is an acknowledgement that no matter how happy one may be alone, how productive, how complete, they will be more so with someone else. I'm all about independence, and I can certainly get by on my own with the best of them, but you know what? I don't want to? Life can be wonderful alone, but it so much sweeter with that special someone to share it with. Humans are still social animals, and we need that intimacy. Don't discount the feeling or the act just because it may have an instinctual basis. The origin of love is not relevant to the conversation here. The existence is. You seem to not realize that by describing in relative depth what you think it may be, you are acknowledging that it is there. Don't think so much, and run with it. There are things a woman can give that a man can never give himself.

Solicitating your fingers: making you want to write sthg
The word itself, "love", is something so fuzzy that we can put whatever we want into it.
We may define love by its consequences, not by itself (intrinsic definition). We may observe it, not controlling it. Even now, I'm providing properties of love, not a good definition.

By the way, love is a notion you put BETWEEN two people. I'm not arguing (ok i'm arguing but a very little) that connection does not exist between two people. I was a little provocating (you deserve it :) ) but the whole idea is that I don't want to give a name ("love" for instance) to the feelings/interactions that I may have with a girl.

"Falling in love" ... pfff . this is the immature stuff. U don't fall in love anymore, you make choices of your own free will. Too easy to say 'Falling in love', the perfect slave of the feelings, no will, no reason.

As you said: "Don't think so much, and run with it", this is the point. Do not even try to name it, it unique and precious.

[texan]

felizitation you say >>>> Men can't bear the idea to have a reduced field of freedom

This is true, but isn't life about trade-offs? We give up one thing to gain something else. We look at all the options and freedoms available and weigh the pros and cons before we make a "choice". When we as humans "fall in love" aren't we limiting some freedoms to be with that one person but also gaining new freedoms. In a simplistic sense let's say you can choose to be single and sleep with many women, or you choose to be with one and get married. Now both have positives and negatives, and both have freedoms associated with them and freedoms we have to give up.

loseyourname said >>>>> Falling in love is an act of dependence

I would call it interdependency.

Losername You also say >>> Humans are still social animals, and we need that intimacy. Don't discount the feeling or the act just because it may have an instinctual basis.

Very true, but I think he views it as fake, and Immature and shouldn't be called "love".

felizitation if it is just fake and immature and has a strong basis in human nature. And you deny yourself being engaged in it, isn't that limiting some freedom?

You say >>>> I don't want to give a name ("love" for instance) to the feelings/interactions that I may have with a girl.

Then what the heck would you call it? And aren't feelings immature? Seldom are feelings based on logic. And how do you know when you are a slave to the feelings and when you are choosing your free will? And in the end you said its unique and precious, but in other sentences you acted like its fake. Do you mean most people when they fall in love they are just being gullible to their own feelings, But you would never fall for them? And when a feeling turns into a passion does that make you a slave to it?

Do you see where I'm going with this, there is no black and white with "falling in love" just a massive grey area. And others acting on their feelings and interactions by falling in love doesn't make them a slave to their feelings or make them immature or make them fake. It makes them HUMAN

[jahannam]

Originally posted by felizitation Quoting myself, such a pleasure ...

I do not believe in love. I associate it to a lack of maturity, to the best way to "feel" sthg for someone without knowing anything of the concerned person. It's also a way to justify our animal needs.
It is the greatest fakeness a human brain has ever created.

Falling in love is also a will of dependance, regarding shtg or someone, in order to be freed from ourselves. Because simply Men can't bear the idea to have a reduced field of freedom, but their will does not sustain this idea.

I'm expecting your reactions (just forget the last threads). So dude, do I sollicitated your fingers ? (without any off-color allusions of any kind)

terrible ...
somehow the way you were raised (i.e. your dad) taught u to deny love.
it might be that men in your family are too proud to announce that they feel vulnerable towards a certain woman. it's a matter of ego you know? specially the middle eastern ego. the nasty one.
anyway, this is so sensitive of an issue for me, I refuse to even START arguing with you about it.
lack of maturity.:rolleyes:
i'm sorry, but you're the ultimate example of a selfish someone who's afraid of commitment and the expression "in love"..
"I'm not arguing that the connection exists.."
what the hell is that???
what's that connection?
oh wait
you're a guy
you're thinking sex.
crap how did I forget.
(yeah and apparently I wasn't gonna argue)

[Arvestaked]

Originally posted by jahannam it might be that men in your family are too proud to announce that they feel vulnerable towards a certain woman.

There is no better feeling than making yourself truly vulnerable to a woman and them positively responding and making themselves just as vulnerable to you.

But just plain sexuality second in line.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by jahannam terrible ...
somehow the way you were raised (i.e. your dad) taught u to deny love.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :)
It sounds like a very very ... very far allusion to Nietzch's work. You may add all the oeudipian syndrome, with the fear of castration and you obtain the trendy "psychology - how to start" method.


Originally posted by jahannam
it might be that men in your family are too proud to announce that they feel vulnerable towards a certain woman. it's a matter of ego you know? specially the middle eastern ego. the nasty one.
anyway, this is so sensitive of an issue for me, I refuse to even START arguing with you about it.
lack of maturity.:rolleyes:
i'm sorry, but you're the ultimate example of a selfish someone who's afraid of commitment and the expression "in love"..
"I'm not arguing that the connection exists.."
what the hell is that???
what's that connection?
oh wait
you're a guy
you're thinking sex.
crap how did I forget.
(yeah and apparently I wasn't gonna argue)

Oulalala... You're trying to explain a few lines of what I exposed by rebuilding whole my life, giving me a new character, a new family, new experiences. Thank you.

Noren essem:
You remind me a bulldozer in a flowered meadow :)) You're funny though

First of all: I'm on the very opposite of selfishness.
Second: I told several time to a girl that I was loving her. Each time but once, I have regreted.
Even 4 years after: I know I'm still in "strong feelings" with her. I will all my life feel strong feelings for her.

However, what is what we call love ? strong feelings ? Not only, it should be share in the same manner, it should be imutable... blablabla it's an idea.

I was feeling good with a girl, then I was wondering if I was in love. Being so far away the purest idea of love, I was wondering if it was true love, if it will last ...
The fact is that this word is disturbing my relationship. I simply live it how it comes, i do not need the mould of the perfect relationship, socially speaking. I do not need to say I love, nor i do not want to.
I'll see if i loved someone after my death :)

[texan]

felizitation you answered jahannam post exactly like I thought you would, she was a little harse with you and simplistically leaping to conclusions. And just like you said >>>You're trying to explain a few lines of what I exposed by rebuilding whole my life, giving me a new character, a new family, new experiences

Notice how she only seems to blame males and the men in your life when she says you have problems with women.


way you were raised (i.e. your dad) >>>> Notice no mention of mother

feel vulnerable towards a certain woman. >>>> Notice women make you feel inferiour and make you not want to "fall in love". You weak man you, you men are all so weak in the presence of superiour women.

matter of ego you know>> she means male ego like women don't have egos

you're a guy you're thinking sex. crap how did I forget. >>>> Women use this line so often its amazing we let them get away with it. Like oh they don't think about sex, like violette said once "men try to exagerate it, women try to downplay it". And she is right they downplay it and hide the truth of how much they think about sex, and then they turn around and use the "you men only think about sex". It's so manipulative and it tries to make us Men feel guilty. And I seem to recall jahannam saying this once.

"our sexuality is a big part of our lives. not talking about it only makes you an immature person. you're only hiding your thoughts for some reason, cuz as we all know, EVERYONE thinks about sex often."

Hey jahannam stop thinking about sex all the time and fall in love instead will ya. ROTFLMAO

felizitation how about the questions I asked in my post? I look forward to a reply.

[felizitation]

Originally posted by texan
But how about the questions I asked in my post? I look forward to a reply.

Are you a girl ?

No its just because I prefer answering girls ...
:)

[felizitation]

Originally posted by texan This is true, but isn't life about trade-offs? We give up one thing to gain something else. We look at all the options and freedoms available and weigh the pros and cons before we make a "choice". When we as humans "fall in love" aren't we limiting some freedoms to be with that one person but also gaining new freedoms. In a simplistic sense let's say you can choose to be single and sleep with many women, or you choose to be with one and get married. Now both have positives and negatives, and both have freedoms associated with them and freedoms we have to give up.

Yes of course, our surroundings limits our freedom. But, i can say that these surroundings is a constant state (complied to live with it, grown on it etc ...). When you think about loving someone,first, it's a changing state, then you know that the idea of love will undoubtely reduce your freedom. It's not necessarly the other person, but often yourself, because of the feelings (pain, headache etc ... :) )



(i'm censuring the looseyourname's part :) )

Originally posted by texan
felizitation if it is just fake and immature and has a strong basis in human nature. And you deny yourself being engaged in it, isn't that limiting some freedom?

Yes you're right, in the extent that it is not natural (ie you do an effort/work on you). But I never rejected the fact that feelings will never exists any more (except for the veeeeeeeeery kind shaolins)


Originally posted by texan
You say >>>> I don't want to give a name ("love" for instance) to the feelings/interactions that I may have with a girl.


Yes I agree with myself

Originally posted by texan
Then what the heck would you call it? And aren't feelings immature? Seldom are feelings based on logic. And how do you know when you are a slave to the feelings and when you are choosing your free will? And in the end you said its unique and precious, but in other sentences you acted like its fake. Do you mean most people when they fall in love they are just being gullible to their own feelings, But you would never fall for them? And when a feeling turns into a passion does that make you a slave to it?

Do you see where I'm going with this, there is no black and white with "falling in love" just a massive grey area. And others acting on their feelings and interactions by falling in love doesn't make them a slave to their feelings or make them immature or make them fake. It makes them HUMAN

I'll call it interest, will, choices, and underlying feelings/appeal. Feeling cannot be imature. Since imature tends to create a great polemic:

Me, and I, agreed on the fact that the word imature was inapropriate. Imature was choosen to cell this state of mind into a period completely rooted in the past.
By the way, this wrong word awoke you all :) . But I still lay the stress on the fact that the more experienced we are, the more reasonable we become. Which is to say that we look at our feeling from a different manner, and we try to build an shape more objective of the person in front of you.

[texan]

felizitation You say >>> Yes I agree with myself

And >>> Me, and I, agreed on the fact that


What, are there 2 of you? LOL. I didn't know France now has cloning. Or are you pregnant and the fetus is capable of communicating.


You also said >>> But I still lay the stress on the fact that the more experienced we are, the more reasonable we become. Which is to say that we look at our feeling from a different manner, and we try to build an shape more objective of the person in front of you

AMEN, I concur with that.


You also say >>>>>> it's a changing state, then you know that the idea of love will undoubtely reduce your freedom

But isn't life full of changing states? And that being said does that mean having children reduces your freedom, if so why do so many people have children? You even said "Men can't bear the idea to have a reduced field of freedom". So why are so many babies being born every year? And why just focus on the negatives like "pain, headache etc ... ", do you see no beneficial gain when you are in love? Or no additional freedom gained?

I got your point on the immature word issue.


You also say >>>> I'll call it interest, will, choices, and underlying feelings/appeal

True, true, BUT. What defines the difference between being in a relationship with a women and it contains all those elements except one "being deeply in love with her". The feelings, the appeal, the interest, all those apply to most girls I have dated in the past. But I wasn't in love with all of them, just a select few. There has to be something there that TRIGGERS it, and that can't be easily explained. Human nature taking over not logic. You can run away from it, you can say I won't be a slave to it, you can say your experiences will help you learn from your mistakes and make better choices. But it still won't stop it from happening.

My view is cautiously embrace it. Very cautiously, but still embrace it, and enjoy the roller coaster ride called "falling in love"

[texan]

felizitation you said >>>>> Are you a girl ? No its just because I prefer answering girls ...


First of all I am a guy, second, what difference does it make? Do you like to chase women around on online forums like a puppy dog? LOL

[felizitation]

Originally posted by texan felizitation you said >>>>> Are you a girl ? No its just because I prefer answering girls ...


First of all I am a guy, second, what difference does it make? Do you like to chase women around on online forums like a puppy dog? LOL

I like being ironic :)