Problems With My Manager

[One-Way]

Well, as most of you know, I finally found a job. My uncle owns a Discount Tire Centers, and I finally agreed to drive 45 minutes, and work with him. However, there's a little problem. I can never get along with my manager.

My uncle, the owner, is usually here 6 days out of the week. Just like me. Except, he bought a new location, and he hasn't been around much lately. Which only leaves me and the manager. The manager is also Armenian, and is 24. Usually, he's really cool. Everyone around here jokes around, but sometimes, it's just too much to deal with.

The thing is, whenever I go to him for questions, he gets irritated. I mean, I'm new here, this is my first time working in a tire shop, I still don't know a lot. So, I see nothing wrong with asking him a lot of questions. I'm still learning all these car parts, it's pretty hard. But, he doesn't see that. He thinks I repeat questions too much, he says I ask him when he's busy, etc.

Well, let me tell you. If the customer is waiting, and I have an important question, and my manager is on the phone, and is ON HOLD, and I ask a quick question, isn't it logical for him to quickly help me out? When I first started, I'd ask, "Do we stock these tires?", and it was a simple yes or no, but instead he'd reply back, "Can't you see I'm busy?!" - and just put me down in front of the customer.

Also, when customers call the store and ask for tire prices, and I give it to them, he used to get mad and say, "I'm sick of you not talking to them the right way! Why don't you ask them 'How does the price sound to you'? I'm sick of customers not coming in because of you. I don't want to lose customers because of you!"

First of all, he's not here to see how much tires I'm selling. I've been working here for a month, a true beginner, and I've probably sold more tires than him. I don't give up as quick as he does. I'm more reasonable with the customers. Also, this is my uncle's tire shop. Don't talk to me like YOU'RE the boss. I don't run and tell my uncle what happens, and it's WAY more than I'm saying to you all now, because I don't want him to lose his job. Honestly, he's done so much, I could have him fired. But, I won't.

Every day, there's a problem. A few weeks ago, I had two customers calling, both on hold while I was looking up tires for them, and two customers were in the store, impatiently waiting. I was looking for my manager, and found him sitting in my UNCLE'S office, on the phone with his friend. If I even SIT down around my manager, he'll say something about it. But THAT pissed me off. I was so busy, with no time, and he took his time on the phone. Luckily, I took care of it.

And just right now, I walked in to the front of the shop, and I left the door a LITTLE bit open. My manager closed it, as he was sitting down watching the World Cup, and said, "Again, you didn't close the door. I'm sick of you leaving it open! The air conditioner is on!" I laughed, because it was so stupid to fight over, and I said, "xxxx." Then the phone rang, and I said, "The phone's ringing" - trying to piss him off, as in HE should pick it up. When he got up, he told me I should watch my mouth. When he was done, he said he didn't appreciate the way I talked to him. I told him I didn't cuss AT him, it was just to myself, and that he should stop fighting over leaving a door open. We got into a real big argument, and I lashed out and got even more irritated. Then, we got into an argument about how I don't handle my own customers. According to him, if I talk to the customer first, he's my customer, and I can't have my manager help me on it. That's stupid. Sometimes I don't know how to take care of it, and I need his help on it. After all, it's been a month I'm here. I'm not Superman. I don't know mechanical things yet.

He also throws a lot of things at me. To make his work easy, I have to clean. I have to call part stores. I have to do everything. I mean, I'll do it, I don't mind. But when it's HIS job, HIS customer, and HE has to call the part stores, he makes me do it. Even when I'm busy. That's so unfair. Sometimes, I need time to do my work. I'm busy, too. Why can't HE call? Why do I have to do all his work?

I really sound mean right now, like I'm mad because I do all the work, but that's not it. You really don't know how he treats me. Sometimes, it's way too unfair. And I don't wanna tell my uncle just yet, because it's just not cool. Plus, a few minutes later, everything between me and him is cool. I just hate it when he acts this way.

[One-Way]

Oh, and, apparently, my uncle and my mom were talking, and my uncle told my mom that I work better than him. He says he'd get rid of him and make me manager. After only a month. That proves I'm not just xxxxxing.

[Siggie]

Geez. If he's got a problem answering your questions... ask him if he's comfortable with being responsible if you make a mistake because he wouldn't help you. If he's the manager ulitimately it's his a*s too. Does he know how to manage? A manager is supposed to bring out the best in his employees and that's not done by refusing them training and yelling at them for anything and everything. Try talking to him and tell him what works best for you. If he's not cooperative and he still acts that way, why not talk to your uncle? I'm surprised he'd even act that way knowing he's working your uncle too. Maybe he knows your uncle would never get rid of him and he's getting off on treating his nephew like crap or maybe he feels threatened. Like if he teaches you everything he knows, you'll replace him, especially since you're family.

[One-Way]

You know what he tells me?

"Listen, when you ask me a question, I don't get angry. I just get annoyed because you've been working here for 3 months, and you still don't get it. You keep asking me the same question 3 times."

He said that yesterday. 3 months? It's been a month and 3 weeks. And I didn't ask the same question 3 times. All 3 questions had to do with brakes, yes, but they were all different questions. Either way, stop acting like an xxxxxxx.

He probably does feel threatened. I'm learning quickly, and it would be a lot easier for my uncle if I managed the store. Of course not now, but eventually. When I ask my uncle a question, he's so into it, to help me out, because he wants me to learn. He rather have me ask a million questions than none. It's all about learning.

[ddd]

Just keep doing what you're doing, don't create any conflict, but at the same time learn as much as you can.

[One-Way]

That's the plan I had in mind.

[loseyourname]

It sounds as if justice will prevail here.

[Anahita]

Some people don’t know how to manage effectively. I agree with Siggie. Some people understand the title of ‘manager’ as something like ‘I now get to assert dominance over everyone.’ That isn't effective. The manager shouldn’t be upset with you asking questions. As a manager, I would wonder about the competency of a new employee who did not ask questions and try to learn.

I had a similar problem when I managed a company (sounds like you could eventually be a manager for your uncle’s shop, so this might help you.) The owner wanted me to follow employees (including other managers) around to make sure they weren’t slacking off. My point of view was: That’s nuts. These employees are educated, hard-working and honest people who work for this company there because they love the kind of work we do. (Many who had worked there for years and are the kind of people who would volunteer to come in on off days if there was something that needed to be done…). None of them had ever given me (or the owner) any reason to think they would be slacking off. I told the owner I wasn’t comfortable watching over their shoulders. I explained that if I spent my time following them around the grounds, I also wouldn’t be able to get more urgent business done. I also said that by acting in that ‘babysitter’ kind of managerial style (would not only be ‘not me’) but also would likely be offensive to them. I think that would backfire somehow (unhappy or bitter workers, etc.). I know I’ve never liked when managers constantly checked up on me and coworkers (which is very different than checking to make sure everything is going ok, if they need anything, etc.)

I agree with Siggie that a manager should help facilitate and motivate and also train and teach. I've appreciated managers who want to help me do better and show me how or answer questions. When I managed that company, I intentionally trained various employees about how to do aspects of MY JOB. I had no fear that teaching them my job would threaten my job--though it sounds like your manager might harbor that fear... Plus, then I could take a vacation and know the basics could still get done. (You could mention that to him too. "What if you want time off. Who will know how to do xyz if you don't want to teach me?") When I arrived, most people only knew how to do only their job. I made sure that everyone knew a little about what everyone else did and how to do that (plus that just makes things run smoother when each person understand the logic of why things get done in certain ways.) That also just makes sense to me: if someone is sick or on vacation or leaves, there is at least two other people who know how to do the urgent parts or train someone else--that's in the interest of the company, too. It doesn’t sound like your manager is acting in your Uncle’s interests and that will likely backfire.

Also, I can tell you that if I owned that shop and heard a manager putting down an employee and saying that "Can't you see I'm busy?!" stuff in front of a customer, I’d sit the manager down right away. That is not only unprofessional, but likely to cause that customer to think twice about returning and is creating a stressful work environment.

[One-Way]

My family wants me to talk to my uncle about it before it's too late. Should I?

[Anonymouse]

You should just do your job and mess up bad, and then when shyt hits the fan, you can always point to your bad manager of how he wasn't approachable.

[Anahita]

My family wants me to talk to my uncle about it before it's too late. Should I?

That's up to you. In your situation, when would 'too late' be, though?

If you do, I’d suggest that you do so pretending he is not your uncle—only the owner of a place where a manager is acting inappropriately. Explain things that happened factually, without too much interpretation and emotion. In fact, if you do become a manager of his shop someday, I’d give the same advice. Mixing family/friends and business can cause lots of trouble, if you can’t distinguish between those two kinds of relationships.

[One-Way]

Too late would be when he talks to my uncle first, and my uncle tells me, "If you had a problem with your manager, why didn't you come up to me first?"

[Anonymouse]

Too late would be when he talks to my uncle first, and my uncle tells me, "If you had a problem with your manager, why didn't you come up to me first?"

Well then, it just [sucks] to be you, doesn't it?

EDIT: Thanks for that Servo.

[TomServo]

+sucks

[Anahita]

Well then, it just to be you, doesn't it?

Anonymouse, say wat do you is? :confused:

Write that all down and date what happens and what he says, etc. If, someday, something happens and you have not yet said anything, show your uncle what you've wrote. Tell him that you've been trying to work through this, but some lady on AC told you to do that... and then show him the post). :D

[One-Way]

He's coming over right now. I won't tell him, but I find it to be awkward timing.

[Anahita]

Or say it now, and then show him this thread tonight. Either way, I can tell that your job with him means lots to you by how much you worry about your job and how you are doing. I will vouch for that.

Tell him some crazy lady in Wisconsin told you to tell him to read this thread. :wave:

[One-Way]

Hahaha.

[HyeWayCop]

I am blessed to have a great job. I have been there for 5 years & never had a problem with my boss & NO! I dont work for a relative...Amazing Huh.

[spiral]

o.k buddy,

Here are some tips:

Try to keep up a positive attitude with your manager. As annoying and xxxxxy as he gets, don’t let it bother you, and don’t show him that he bothers you. Keep up positive energy.

Keep a large notebook with you at all times. Jot down notes, and write down specific answers he gives you when you ask questions.

If you have questions that can wait, try to write them down, and when he’s clearly free present all the questions at once, so that you don’t have to come to him repeatedly.

Don’t stop asking questions!

If his attitude persists, schedule a meeting with him, state your concerns, and come to a consensus on how you can best address the issues between you two. Keep up a positive attitude throughout all this.

If he’s still a xxxxx, this means he’s bitter, and as siggie mentioned he feels threatened because of your relationship with the owner. Therefore, you must conquer his job. Keep your uncle posted on his behavior. Learn well, and take over!

I bid you much luck!

[HyeWayCop]

When your at work, ignore everybody & everything just do what you got to do & leave when its time for you to go, people dont need extra drama in there lives. We have enough drama as it is.

[Anahita]

When your at work, ignore everybody & everything just do what you got to do & leave when its time for you to go, people dont need extra drama in there lives. We have enough drama as it is.

I wouldn't go quite that far (but my kind of work is work that people would do without pay, anyway.) So, should people in other fields people should follow that advice?

Still, basic things (kindness, honesty and etc.) should hold true. Managers shouldn't really act like dictators in business--or they'll destroy the business.

[HyeWayCop]

Anahita yes courtesy is diffrent than having drama. For example you go in to work when you see someone you be polite but dont let your job interfere with your personal life... thats what I was trying to say.

[One-Way]

You guys won't believe what happened. It actually went down today. Here's what happened.

I was at work today, and I had called a junkyard for a part on a car we had in the shop. The guy told me it costed $200. I told my manager and my uncle, and they just said okay. I went inside my uncle's office to write a check, so I could leave to go pick-up some tires. While I was in there, my manager walked in and said, "That place you found the part for $200. Call them back and order it." I went back, placed the order, and I was about to leave the store. I turned to my manager and said, "You guys wanted me to order the part without calling the customer and asking if he wanted it?" And my manager turned to me and said, "I thought you guys told him he needed it. When you come back, call the customer." I said back, "I didn't call him. Can you call? I'm about to go pick-up tires." He said, "No. Pick-up the tires, then call him. I said back, "Can't you just call him right now? What's the difference?"

Right there, he snapped. The thing is, I wrote the customer up. And at work, I guess they're really uptight about that. I think I've mentioned it before. He went crazy and told me, "You wrote him up! He's your customer! You need to take care of it!" So, we yelled for a little bit, then all of a sudden, he said, "You're causing to many problems!" I told him he was the cause of every problem, and he told me if there was a problem, would he like us to call my uncle and have a talk with him. I said sure, so he went to call my uncle.

At that second, I was a little worried. He was really heated up, and he was calling my uncle, so we three could fix this problem. And I knew everything was going to come out in the open, so I had to think it through for a minute. So, my uncle came and we all walked in the office. He didn't know what was up, so he asked what was wrong, and my manager closed the door. He said something like, "If you want everything to run smooth here, you need to talk with Armen!" All of a sudden, he started yelling. He started saying things like, "Everytime! He doesn't follow-up on his customers AT ALL! I need to do everything for him!" I told him, "Why would you tell me to order the part, if you hadn't talked to the customer?" He told me it was my customer and he thought I had talked with him, that's why. Now, the whole day, we all had been running around, so when talk rose about this part, I had no clue of it. Again, they made me call the part store, then they told me to order it, so I, too, assumed they had spoke with the customer.

I was standing there for a few minutes as my manager yelled at me, and on purpose, didn't reply back. He kept getting louder, and I just didn't reply. Then, my uncle jumped in and said, "Look. I don't appreciate your attitude. The way you're talking isn't nice at all." My manager then said, "I don't have an attitude! It's all him! I have to look over him for everything. He can't do anything alone!" And at that second my uncle said something that hit the nail on the head. He said, "Armen is new here. He's supposed to look over things, but you're the manager, you're supposed to look over EVERYTHING, including him." And I was like, "That's the whole point, Mr. Mananger!"

Now, they steered the conversation to the direction of the mechanics being too lazy to work, then my manager said, "Last night, Armen was sitting down WITH the mechanics while a car wasn't being worked on!" And that REALLY pissed me off, because it's not true, and I feel bad for not saying anything in front of my uncle. Then he yelled at me and said, "Is it the mechanics that piss you off? Is it because they never work?"

And honestly, I already had enough of being quiet, and I was getting a little teary-eyed. I don't know why. I had held everything in. So right there, I jumped back and said, "You know what Avo? You know what pisses me off? YOU piss me off. It's you and your attitude." And the only bad part is, I almost cried saying that. I was all choked up, with tears about to roll down my face. I'm pretty sure you have a picture of what I'm talking about. I feel like a xxxxx for saying it like that and crying, but I couldn't help it. It had been held in me for too long, and I couldn't control it.

After that, we just broke it up. My uncle got mad at me for now following up on cars, but I'm sure he's mad at my manager for showing us an attitude. When I'm alone with my uncle next time, I'm going to apologize for not working 100%, but I'm gonna tell him more about the manager's behavior. I didn't want him to find out like this, but it's too late now.

Also, there was talk about controlling anger, and my manager asked me if I could control my attitude, and I said something like, "Don't tell me about controlling an attitude. You're the one around here who has the attitude." And it just kept making him snap at me. Ugh. Picturing him yelling and me taking that xxxx pisses me off more.

Also, today he actually asked me to cover for him tomorrow. He has an engagement to go to, and he asked me to cover! My uncle and I are both off tomorrow, so he's the only one. My uncle came up to me today, to make sure I was coming in tomorrow, and I said, "No. I don't know if I can come in." Come on, what the hell. I covered for him last Sunday, because he faked sick to watch the WORLD CUP! What kind of manager is that?! How many times do I have to cover for him?! First time so he could watch Soccer, and this time so he can party. BULLxxxx! I shouldn't even be working right now, my xxxxing wisdom teeth are giving me a headache, but I'm still working just because I already missed too many days. And I don't want my uncle to go in tomorrow, so I'm forced to work. xxxxing bullxxxx, man. I can't believe the way I'm getting treated!

[Quarteria]

If it has not already been mentioned, show your uncle this thread. Show him the dates things were posted so he doesn't just think this was something that sprang from today.

[One-Way]

If I talk it out with him and tell him what's wrong, he'll understand and believe me. Showing him a thread about me talking about this with a bunch of people I've never met might have him worried, lol.

[OMG]

If I talk it out with him and tell him what's wrong, he'll understand and believe me. Showing him a thread about me talking about this with a bunch of people I've never met might have him worried, lol.


you could copy what you wrote so far on here and then paste all that into word or something with the dates that you wrote each message and then print that for him to see. then he wouldnt know that you posted this, but did keep track of what happened.

[One-Way]

After my last post, I talked this through with my family, and we got in an argument. They think I was stupid for sitting back and letting them talk to me, and I should've spoken up even earlier. I'm just going to talk alone with my uncle tomorrow and tell him everything. We'll see how it goes.

[One-Way]

I had a little talk with my uncle today, and everything is "whatever" for the moment.

[OMG]

i hope 'whatever' continues to get better. better to get stuff out sooner than later

[One-Way]

Interesting name, and thanks.

[Quarteria]

What do you mean, "whatever"? There is an apathetic feeling in regards to all this?

[One-Way]

It's just okay for now.

[OMG]

i'm glad that you got to talk to your boss. lights are still on, at least, there. if you like your job, do your best.