Does anyone feel like me?

[Ideology]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

sorry, I don't remember how to read Armenian.

[Mos]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

արա, Idealogy, քեզ մի հատ հավաքի

[Gavur]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

One of the more uncompetable problems I have faced in my years of suggesting happiness to "some" Armenians is that some of these younger Armenians literally have the weight of the world on their shoulders, particularly in Hayastansis. I'll tell you why. Many Armenians have parents who just came to American from the old world. Unfortunately, there are a lot of immigrant parents who came here and have very low self esteem. In America, it is everyones obligation to stay as cheerful as possible to not bring down others around them. A lot of Armenian parents have a combination of psychological thoughts that ruin things for everyone. For one, many in this generation seem to have a very low self esteem. And in their country, life was a lot easier than it is in America. They are also under the impression that acting sad, down, or depressed is a legitamite way to get care and love from their children. They know their children hate to see their parents miserable and try to do anything they can to cheer them up. After a while, this becomes a daily event. And as time goes on, children start to realize how low their parents feel on a daily basis. Keep in mind, in America, the average person is well dressed, well groomed, speaks good English, and is attracted to cheerful people. Some of these Armenian elders are dressed very old fashion and simple, don't worry about their looks at all, speak broken English, and have an energy to them that is anything but happy. Americans don't want to be anywhere near these types because they might bring them down. Life is hard enough, and Americans like to be around cheerful people to stay up. Now since the children are busting their ass more and more daily (since their parents are growing numb to the kids positive energy), the kids are getting worn out. After a while, these kids are growing up and spending 50% of their energy just to keep a house cheerful. With that and other problems like guilt tripping the kids, Armenian youth is growing to feel like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Again, this is for some Armenian families and there are too many Armenian families like this. This also is leading to something much more horrific than I could have possibly imagined. More and more Armenians are talking about getting married and having their parents live with them! This is incredible! I can't believe how many Armenians are falling for this. Not that anyone is tricking them, (although parents should refuse to live with their kids when married), but living with mom and dad, or just mom, will bring absolute disaster to Armenians. Forget about ever having freedom. Some Armenians have never had their own place to experience how personal freedom feels in their own homes, and now they have cancelled any chance of that, forever! Secondly, the marriage (love) needs to be fed with romance. However that romance comes... It will be 10 times harder to introduce any type of romance in a marriage when someones parents live in the same house. What about sex? How quiet would you have to be? How often would you have to skip nights of sex just from the fear of being heard? And what happens when the mother-in-law or whatever the relation, starts acting like she/he is the man of the house? Can you imagine the anomosity that builds over time between the real man of the house and the parent? And if the marriage falls apart.... it would be too late for anyone to say, "I knew this was going to happen." Basically, the point is that some Armenians, from youth are being forced to serve their parents and are punished by guilt or whatever if they don't. Americans raise their kids and teach them to go out and get a life of their own. In another words, to be strong enough for self support in order to maintain their own lives out their in the world. Armenian parents are (and of course not all parents, but..) teaching their kids to serve them for life, and sometimes even expect to live with their kids when they get married. This sucks out so much of their energy, they become grumps. It becomes 10 times harder to be successful. Now how can someone compete with this? What do you tell someone who is stuck in this situation? All you can say is your opinion, and if they believe you, the guilt their parents through on them afterwards will crush their decisiveness on a more beautiful life. Sometimes the youth is smarter than the elders, and if the elders are immigrants, then most likely the youth is smarter and more versed in the American lifestyle. There is no way to make America - Armenia. America is America, and to live happily here, we need to assimulate, not cling on to our past. We can still be American and Armenian, American-Armenian, but do what benefits the group as a whole. I personally refused a 2nd date with a gorgous Armenian girl just for the comment on her mom living with her. I know how miserable a life it would become, and it's a shame she didn't.

Assimilate but do not dissiminate your culture.Find it if you lost it.

[One-Way]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

I think the more important question here is, how difficult is it to form paragraphs?

[Ideology]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

One of the more uncompetable problems I have faced in my years of suggesting happiness to "some" Armenians is that some of these younger Armenians literally have the weight of the world on their shoulders, particularly in Hayastansis. I'll tell you why. Many Armenians have parents who just came to American from the old world. Unfortunately, there are a lot of immigrant parents who came here and have very low self esteem. In America, it is everyones obligation to stay as cheerful as possible to not bring down others around them. A lot of Armenian parents have a combination of psychological thoughts that ruin things for everyone. For one, many in this generation seem to have a very low self esteem. And in their country, life was a lot easier than it is in America. They are also under the impression that acting sad, down, or depressed is a legitamite way to get care and love from their children. They know their children hate to see their parents miserable and try to do anything they can to cheer them up. After a while, this becomes a daily event. And as time goes on, children start to realize how low their parents feel on a daily basis. Keep in mind, in America, the average person is well dressed, well groomed, speaks good English, and is attracted to cheerful people. Some of these Armenian elders are dressed very old fashion and simple, don't worry about their looks at all, speak broken English, and have an energy to them that is anything but happy. Americans don't want to be anywhere near these types because they might bring them down. Life is hard enough, and Americans like to be around cheerful people to stay up. Now since the children are busting their ass more and more daily (since their parents are growing numb to the kids positive energy), the kids are getting worn out. After a while, these kids are growing up and spending 50% of their energy just to keep a house cheerful. With that and other problems like guilt tripping the kids, Armenian youth is growing to feel like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Again, this is for some Armenian families and there are too many Armenian families like this. This also is leading to something much more horrific than I could have possibly imagined. More and more Armenians are talking about getting married and having their parents live with them! This is incredible! I can't believe how many Armenians are falling for this. Not that anyone is tricking them, (although parents should refuse to live with their kids when married), but living with mom and dad, or just mom, will bring absolute disaster to Armenians. Forget about ever having freedom. Some Armenians have never had their own place to experience how personal freedom feels in their own homes, and now they have cancelled any chance of that, forever! Secondly, the marriage (love) needs to be fed with romance. However that romance comes... It will be 10 times harder to introduce any type of romance in a marriage when someones parents live in the same house. What about sex? How quiet would you have to be? How often would you have to skip nights of sex just from the fear of being heard? And what happens when the mother-in-law or whatever the relation, starts acting like she/he is the man of the house? Can you imagine the anomosity that builds over time between the real man of the house and the parent? And if the marriage falls apart.... it would be too late for anyone to say, "I knew this was going to happen." Basically, the point is that some Armenians, from youth are being forced to serve their parents and are punished by guilt or whatever if they don't. Americans raise their kids and teach them to go out and get a life of their own. In another words, to be strong enough for self support in order to maintain their own lives out their in the world. Armenian parents are (and of course not all parents, but..) teaching their kids to serve them for life, and sometimes even expect to live with their kids when they get married. This sucks out so much of their energy, they become grumps. It becomes 10 times harder to be successful. Now how can someone compete with this? What do you tell someone who is stuck in this situation? All you can say is your opinion, and if they believe you, the guilt their parents through on them afterwards will crush their decisiveness on a more beautiful life. Sometimes the youth is smarter than the elders, and if the elders are immigrants, then most likely the youth is smarter and more versed in the American lifestyle. There is no way to make America - Armenia. America is America, and to live happily here, we need to assimulate, not cling on to our past. We can still be American and Armenian, American-Armenian, but do what benefits the group as a whole. I personally refused a 2nd date with a gorgous Armenian girl just for the comment on her mom living with her. I know how miserable a life it would become, and it's a shame she didn't.

[Mukuch]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

Ideology, I'm still reading the thread and you're making some good points. Though I don't share your disappointment and frustration, I can see why you are. Don't let Mukuch or others intimidate you with silly questions like "Are you gay?" Yes that is an insult. You probably know that some are trying to discredit you, accuse you of this or that, push you to become defensive and ban you to silence you, that's all. Those people don't even have the courage to admit what they're doing, they don't even have the courage to be themselves.
Don't play their game, limit yourself to those who sound reasonable and are open to discussion. Some are.

Are you a gay too?
Just kidding

Would you be so kind to tell me:
1.Why do you think I am not being myself?
2.What exactly I am doing that I do not have courage to admit?

Such a grave accusations must be supported by some very serious substance.



If I have to have courage to admit that I am a gay than I am not....

[Gavur]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

I stopped reading here.

You must use your creative force to turn your standards (if you believe they are so right) into a reality. If you do not like what you observe in your people, show them the right acts, remind them, and forgive them for their follies done in ignorance. If they spit on you, wipe it off with a gentle hand and you will not feel harmed. You will be able to continue with your work.

The point is not to feel offended or hurt by the acts of others when you know they are acting out of ignorance. It is only in this state when you can truly say you are above these people, not for snobbish reason but because you can genuinely guide them to do better.

Very wise.

[gegev]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

To tell the truth I don’t like you, given your current views.

But yet there is another truth; your writing style is quite impressive and if you try hard, after reaching maturity to find out the right subject to muse upon. I guess you’ll become a writer.

[jgk3]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

It is hard to find fine Armenians for me. My standards come from what I have experienced in other cultures. The flawless friendships I've had with many non Armenian friends were priceless. People you can put your guards down with, people who do good deeds for you (for no apparant reason at all), people who believe in honor and respect

I stopped reading here.

You must use your creative force to turn your standards (if you believe they are so right) into a reality. If you do not like what you observe in your people, show them the right acts, remind them, and forgive them for their follies done in ignorance. If they spit on you, wipe it off with a gentle hand and you will not feel harmed. You will be able to continue with your work.

The point is not to feel offended or hurt by the acts of others when you know they are acting out of ignorance. It is only in this state when you can truly say you are above these people, not for snobbish reason but because you can genuinely guide them to do better.

[Ideology]

Re: Does anyone feel like me?

Hi Sip. That is very interesting. You might love it or have a very unique set of circumstances that make you love it. Sometimes the historical culture of your personality can be very attractive to LAers. My mixed cultural experiences are like by outsiders. It all falls on being in a good envirement and around people similar to you. Very rarely have I heard a statement like yours, but again, the possibilities and circumstances are endless, and you found a good setup for yourself. If I had found the same, I would have stayed here. Then again, I was very unlucky with my surroundings and pretty much had no choice to be around it up until recently. Although this is true, there are so many complex issues in the sociology of LA, it is mind bending to think of them. Everywhere else has been simpler with more vigilant people from what I have noticed. This is a tough town, lots of self absorbed people who think of nothing but themselves, and too much jealousy... Thats how I feel about it. Again, the circumstances are endless, and this is my stance on LA.