I'm sorry, Sag. But all the people snapping their fingers after the reading frieghtened me!
The ink was carelessly spilling from the tip of my pen, invading the fibers of paper surrounding it, causing a minute, insignificant black stain that painfully drilled through my idle mind that it so eloquently represented. Suddenly, a deep, cavernous groan emerged from the depths of my being that so faithfully resembled the vacant jar that I kept guarded and hidden under the aged mattress that I sometimes referred to as my bed. Within a few minutes, my head began to ache mercilessly and my vision began to blur. I desperately dragged my trembling hands over the frigid ground around me searching for whatever object that could possibly provide me with any kind of escape from my agony. Fortunately, I had little trouble finding a plastic bag containing small, disk-like jewels. With no hesitation, I tore open the bag, scattering its contents over the ground. I swiftly gleaned as many of them as I could and stuffed them into my arid mouth. It didn’t take long before the sortilege of the priceless rubies that I had ingested cast its mystical spell on me and from that moment on, I no longer fathomed whether or not if I was truly conscious. I fell into a deep trance that satisfyingly liberated me from my anguish. 
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