Dear Dr. Mouse

[Anonymouse]

This is my section of the forum where you can ask me questions about things that are troubling you in life. I'm sure my advice will be groundbreaking and like a breath of fresh air (with a hint of mustard gas).

[Emil]

I have this weird discharge when I urinate. I am sure you experienced the same thing, what was your cure?


Emil

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by Emil I have this weird discharge when I urinate. I am sure you experienced the same thing, what was your cure?


Emil

Emil, I suffer from the same problem as a kid. It hurts when you pee because your three foot long xxxx is hanging in the fire. I'm sure your buddies get a kick out of telling you "Hey Emil, go put out the fire, the park ranger is coming!" everytime. So cut your xxxx, it'll do the trick.

Dr. Mouse

[sSsflamesSs]

Dear Dr. Mouse,
I recently grew a third nipple on my eyebrow (it's quite hairy). Is this normal?

Thanks in advance,
Triple Nipple

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by sSsflamesSs Dear Dr. Mouse,
I recently grew a third nipple on my eyebrow (it's quite hairy). Is this normal?

Thanks in advance,
Triple Nipple

Having a third nipple ( hairy ) is a very big step in the evolution of man, thus you have taken the first step. I am to guess that this growth has left you with social ineptitude. Don't worry, I do not suggest that you do anything to change your appearence since the social word is a far scary place.

Dr. Mouse

[fIReBuRntInHeLL]

Dear Dr. Mouse

I want to get over my forum addiction

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by fIReBuRntInHeLL Dear Dr. Mouse

I want to get over my forum addiction

Well, if you want my honest answer, simply chop your fingers off.

Dr. Mouse

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by patlajan Dear Dr. Mouse

I have frequent sudden urges to beat you to death, burn your remains, and then dance a victory dance around them. What do you suggest I do to calm such uncivilized thoughts?

If your uncivilized thoughts seem disturbing to you then your problem is that your life is too pleasant and boring. A routine that I start everyday off with starts by slamming my own xxxx in the car door, and then getting behind the wheel and driving through the local elementary school playground. The sight of seeing innocent 6 year old kids flying up over my windshield at about 45 mph is enough to make me shrug off some measly dream about beating and burning people. Try this for a week. If it does not work for you, than I suggest slittling your wrists in public. This will usually bring enough excitment in your life to counteract any dream you could possibly have.

Dr. Mouse

[pheral]

Dear Dr. Mouse,

i think you're an idiot but i want to go to school to be a mortician and i need to know how to go about it and what are the perks of the job?

[ckBejug]

Dear Dr. Mouse,
I am sick of being a 'good' girl. I am ready to shed the image. I am looking for someone to help me out with that and I know a good man-xxxxx is hard to find. Where do you think I should look for one? I have tried looking on the internet but all I can find are gay gigalo's and I'd rather have my man swing the other way, you knoe to maximize MY peasure, if you know what I mean. So help a brother, ahh, uhm, i mean a sister out...
Thanks!
Ready to be bad in LA