C: Good evening, and welcome to our pilot edition of The Loser Phenomenon. I'm your anchor, Clark Gay, and to my right is the lovely Diane Les. 
D:If I had a gas oven my head would have been lodged in there long ago, Clark.C: I don't know about you, but I'm digging the shades. What do you think this impact has on the other viewers Diane?D:'Shades' is for cool people, Clark! C:Haha! Whoa there, Diane. Save our slugger Loser some material for next week. He's been yapping all the past month about how he loves himself. Tell me, what's your first impression of the man? D:It looks as if Loser is very perceptive and has distanced himself as a delineated loser from the rest of the losers, to crown himself the king of losers, as if that's a noteworthy accomplishment.C:I have to admit I enjoy the retro theme music that appears everytime Loser makes a guest appearance. I can totally picture myself seeing loser pop up everywhere in between commercial breaks, either in between Frasier or Charles in Charge, or American Idol, and That 70s Show. D:I just hope some advertising agency is looking at this. His picture makes me want to totally buy some 'shades' and/or budweiser. C: *shock* You're kidding!D: Did I tell you that I once successfully breast fed a flamingo back to full health?C:No, but that has to wait for the next episode. Any final thoughts?D:When loser first appeared I cringed at the prospect of having my testicles crushed, but then I remembered I don't have testicles! I was however able to identify with losers, especially the other men here, because I personally have tits! Overall, I give it a 5 out of a possible B! He is really a great man, able to threaten the manhood of everyone else with this love of himself. If I had a penis, I would surely lovemyself as much.C: You're the one that's been stealing the cleanex from my dressing room haven't you, Diane?D: Well, it's important to remember that when you blow your nose, you have to use Kleenex™. Until next time...C: Keep watching the holding high those Kleenex tissues while looking at yourself in the mirror installed in your dog house eating that quarter pounder with cheese of steaming hot adjectives of you are God you have a mirror in your peehole, into yourself channel.Goodnight!
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