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I was out and about today but now I am home, and that means I have returned to the online computer world to entertain you with my insufferable comedic nonsense. As I was out, I really got to connect with the spirit of nature, like the Native Americans. But also, I connected with an inner fantasy of mine ( no its NOT sexual you PERVERT!).
Today, whilst I went to the 7-Eleven to by my shot at the jackpot Super Lotto quick pick from the local 7-Eleven ( like the millions of morons that do so every week I wanted to feel like a moron ), I also encountered the mystic and enchanting artifact which we have come to know by as the FANNY PACK ( for some reason I keep thinking about it as a Granny pack and still believe it would be a more appropriate title because it is symbolic and hinting that only people over forty who are mostly white, use fanny packs).
But yea, as I approached the Indian guy behind the cashier stand ( at which moment I then proceeded to inwardly celebrate diversity and appreciate the fact at how lucky I was to be living in such a diverse place to have my items rung up by an Indian guy, a job that most likely could have been done by a boring old white male but here I was being culturally enriched ), I noticed a white male tourist pull behind me with a Double Big Gulp. At first I thought he either had an overly large penis for that dorky Mormon lookin wife of his, or he was shielding his penis with something to prevent the homosexually challenged population from LA to rise up and gobble his very huge penis, which obviously he wouldnt be attempting to hide unless he was lying only to himself because of a little mans complex. But once I looked beyond his Double Big Gulp and the obvious fact that he had that stupid confused white persons smile that only a white man over 40 who is most likely a tourist would unleash to perfect strangers, I saw that he was sportin a fanny pack ( because he was obviously a tourist visiting Hollywood ). Whether or not he had a fanny pack upon his arrival to Hollywood, or if he bought the fanny pack from Hollywood Blvd, I cannot answer at this moment because of insufficient information.
However, after seeing the fanny pack, I started to fantisize, much like people fantisize about being sl uts and threesomes in the dirty annals of their minds ( since according to Freud we are all sexual beings, and not spiritual ones, and Freud was cool not necessarily because he was just a Jew but because he secretly admitted he wanted to believe in God and believed indeed ). So I started thinking how complete I'd look with a fanny pack. I figure then I wouldn't even need to ask people for restrooms or clog their bathrooms with the logs that my body produces. I figure I can travel the world like Kain from Kung Fu and shyt wherever I please because I would have the FANNY PACK! Now you may think that I will shyt in my fanny pack, however, THAT is not the case, I assure you. I would simply carry rolls of Charmin Ultra toilet paper with me and replenish the stock at a steady pace to never run out. Observe.
And I figure a fanny pack would be ideal for one day when I'm lost in the woods and have to battle lions, and tigers and bears ( Oh my fanny pack ), and a fanny pack would be the equivalent of Frodo's Ring from Lord of the Rings, that would protect me and guide me, yet have the power to corrupt me!!! Anyway, just thought I'd share some of my inner fantasies with the rest of you because what I taught I taw came out to indeed be what I taught I taw, a FANNY PACK!
Today, whilst I went to the 7-Eleven to by my shot at the jackpot Super Lotto quick pick from the local 7-Eleven ( like the millions of morons that do so every week I wanted to feel like a moron ), I also encountered the mystic and enchanting artifact which we have come to know by as the FANNY PACK ( for some reason I keep thinking about it as a Granny pack and still believe it would be a more appropriate title because it is symbolic and hinting that only people over forty who are mostly white, use fanny packs).
But yea, as I approached the Indian guy behind the cashier stand ( at which moment I then proceeded to inwardly celebrate diversity and appreciate the fact at how lucky I was to be living in such a diverse place to have my items rung up by an Indian guy, a job that most likely could have been done by a boring old white male but here I was being culturally enriched ), I noticed a white male tourist pull behind me with a Double Big Gulp. At first I thought he either had an overly large penis for that dorky Mormon lookin wife of his, or he was shielding his penis with something to prevent the homosexually challenged population from LA to rise up and gobble his very huge penis, which obviously he wouldnt be attempting to hide unless he was lying only to himself because of a little mans complex. But once I looked beyond his Double Big Gulp and the obvious fact that he had that stupid confused white persons smile that only a white man over 40 who is most likely a tourist would unleash to perfect strangers, I saw that he was sportin a fanny pack ( because he was obviously a tourist visiting Hollywood ). Whether or not he had a fanny pack upon his arrival to Hollywood, or if he bought the fanny pack from Hollywood Blvd, I cannot answer at this moment because of insufficient information.
However, after seeing the fanny pack, I started to fantisize, much like people fantisize about being sl uts and threesomes in the dirty annals of their minds ( since according to Freud we are all sexual beings, and not spiritual ones, and Freud was cool not necessarily because he was just a Jew but because he secretly admitted he wanted to believe in God and believed indeed ). So I started thinking how complete I'd look with a fanny pack. I figure then I wouldn't even need to ask people for restrooms or clog their bathrooms with the logs that my body produces. I figure I can travel the world like Kain from Kung Fu and shyt wherever I please because I would have the FANNY PACK! Now you may think that I will shyt in my fanny pack, however, THAT is not the case, I assure you. I would simply carry rolls of Charmin Ultra toilet paper with me and replenish the stock at a steady pace to never run out. Observe.
And I figure a fanny pack would be ideal for one day when I'm lost in the woods and have to battle lions, and tigers and bears ( Oh my fanny pack ), and a fanny pack would be the equivalent of Frodo's Ring from Lord of the Rings, that would protect me and guide me, yet have the power to corrupt me!!! Anyway, just thought I'd share some of my inner fantasies with the rest of you because what I taught I taw came out to indeed be what I taught I taw, a FANNY PACK!
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