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Recently I've discovered that my family is among the most honest ones out of my extended kinships. Of course, not to sound holier than thou or from a moral high ground, this is based on my subjective experiences with my immediate associations and surroundings with my extended family. I was always under the impression that the family is "holy" and since we are linked by blood we will not harm each other. We are "from the same blood, from the same kind". We "expect harm from strangers, but not from loved ones". Of course this is about as comforting a bullshyt as a pacifier is to someone suffering from a bullet wound to the ass. Harm comes from all directions. I am at the point where I cannot internalize this. It is all too much, too fast, for too long and at the wrong time. And if I do not express this here as calisthenic endeavor into catharsis, I might end up beating up a cat or something ( since I hate cats ).
I was always taught to be an open person. I saw and learned from my parents that I shouldn't be a tight wad. When out with friends it is always a gesture of good will to offer to pay. Such a notion is not "Armo" when you see your Armenian dads fighting over who should pay the bill. It is a universal act of openness, not confined to a certain culture. Indeed, generosity, kindness, honesty are not social conventions confined to a certain family or people, but are universal markers of what humans aim to attain throughout time. It is the universal yard stick which we strive to, compare to, and measure our actions by ( at least those that think to ). Woe to the man who does not offer honesty, kindness, generosity, and openness of the heart and who sits idly in the confines of his greed and his self and his wants. Such is taught by all religions and philosophies. I learned that when someone kindly asks for some help, it is nice to offer something to help, no matter how much you offer, whether money or not, it is still something and translates as an act of kindness to that person. It was a sign of generosity and openness of the heart.
Families are but social relationships linked by blood but not by choice. We seek friends but not family. We choose friends but we don't choose family. Friends more often than not reflect us as persons, families often times do not. Famly is handed down to us either because God wants to test us, or tease us, depending on how you view it. If your uncle, or aunt or cousin was slothful, vain, and greedy, you did not choose to associate with him, you were given this life, and with it, its attachments. Of course some have ignoble parents, but others as in my case have dishonest extensions. Most of us do not complain about the flaws of our families, but simply learn to deal with them, and accept them, or forget them and live life. Indeed, when is it too much? My parents being victims of deception and dishonesty, from all corners of the family, is intolerable. I try to blame my parents for being open, for being kind, for being generous. But I have found that this blame is unjust. Their reply is "What would you have done? Would you have done exactly what we have? Have we raised you like that?" My emphatic reply was a "No". Honesty presupposes dishonesty. Thus those who are honest, will be evident to the deceiver, although the honest ones will often faithfully put trust in their fellow man, be it family or friend. And from then I understand that I could not blame them. Indeed, if no one were honest, there would be no case for faith or hope, and human civilization would have ended eons ago. To be honest and generous is to expose oneself. I ignorantly believed that to avoid deception, and dishonesty, my folks should not have been as open hearted and inviting in the first place. Fear of the exposure to dishonesty and an unwillingness to be honest and generous only makes one as worse as the deceiving serpents that one is trying to avoid. And before you know it, you are transformed into that which you despised.
My family has never been rich, except in spirit, but it has never been poor. My folks have never been greedy or hesitated to spend on friends, family or even their children. Despite the idea of saving money to "get ahead" for personal satisfactions, in my family, money has been used to the goodness of friends and family, and even us as their children, and rarely when my folks took that minor occasion to indulge, as eastern Armenians say "ktnerits ekav". My folks have always loaned money, to friends, family, that often went unpaid for months. They did not complain. They patiently waited and went about their merry ways. Of course when goodness is given it is hoped that one would understand that what we are offering is not money in and of itself, but our kindness and generosity that is offered through that money. We are not obligated to pay anyone. Why do we do it then? We do so as a means of kindness because we want to. It is not money we are offering, it is our heart and kindness. One would logically expect that this kindness be reciprocated in the form of honesty, not money. But that is not so. When someone needs money, is it bad to ask for some help? Does asking for some help tarnish ones ego and delusions of grandeur? If one really is in need of money, one should ask. My folks have never closed the door on someones face. Does one really need to engage in chicanery and deception in order to rip money off of family, the same family that helped you in the most dire times when none of the pretenders would? Are people this stupid? Are humans this hollow? Do they actually think we are only offering a material means of exchange, and not extending our character and honesty with it? If the only thing we are offering is material commodity, and not our spirits, and if by this interpretation it should come to mean that man is a mindless, soulless material creature, then do they honestly think we are foolish enough to "give out free money"? Methinks tis a lie.
"Money is the root of all evil" is about as wise as the advice you get from a thief, which is not much. Money is as good as its creators and users. Money is a reflection of us as humans, because it is created by us. It is a subjective value placed on a commodity as a means of exchange, but not on a moral, since you cannot place subjective values on morals. This little idea of "money" determines the happiness and well being of us. It represents something. But it is not something in and of itself. It is responsible for us feeling pleasure, and also pain and springs from our consciousness, since it is there where pain and pleasure are hardwired. If we were automatons, impervious to the sensitivies of pleasure and pain, we would not need money. Whether we lived in the streets or in a house it wouldn't matter then. Money represents the power to get pleasure for ourselves. The absence of money means pain and hardship. For those people that this becomes an end in itself, it only becomes a pleasure in itself, the pleasure found in having the power to get pleasure, often times at the expense of your friends and family. As Arthur Schopenhaur stated, "Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money." Greed deadens the nerves of sympathy of people and makes them deaf to the demands of honesty, and generosity. The universal pursuit of greed dethrones honor. Selfishess rules as the business of life. There is nothing wrong with wealth. When wealth is earned honestly it is just. When it is earned by pillaging the bonds of family, friends and love, it is unjust. I only hope that we should be wise enough and vigilant enough, to heed the deceivers ahead of time, before becoming deceived.
I was always taught to be an open person. I saw and learned from my parents that I shouldn't be a tight wad. When out with friends it is always a gesture of good will to offer to pay. Such a notion is not "Armo" when you see your Armenian dads fighting over who should pay the bill. It is a universal act of openness, not confined to a certain culture. Indeed, generosity, kindness, honesty are not social conventions confined to a certain family or people, but are universal markers of what humans aim to attain throughout time. It is the universal yard stick which we strive to, compare to, and measure our actions by ( at least those that think to ). Woe to the man who does not offer honesty, kindness, generosity, and openness of the heart and who sits idly in the confines of his greed and his self and his wants. Such is taught by all religions and philosophies. I learned that when someone kindly asks for some help, it is nice to offer something to help, no matter how much you offer, whether money or not, it is still something and translates as an act of kindness to that person. It was a sign of generosity and openness of the heart.
Families are but social relationships linked by blood but not by choice. We seek friends but not family. We choose friends but we don't choose family. Friends more often than not reflect us as persons, families often times do not. Famly is handed down to us either because God wants to test us, or tease us, depending on how you view it. If your uncle, or aunt or cousin was slothful, vain, and greedy, you did not choose to associate with him, you were given this life, and with it, its attachments. Of course some have ignoble parents, but others as in my case have dishonest extensions. Most of us do not complain about the flaws of our families, but simply learn to deal with them, and accept them, or forget them and live life. Indeed, when is it too much? My parents being victims of deception and dishonesty, from all corners of the family, is intolerable. I try to blame my parents for being open, for being kind, for being generous. But I have found that this blame is unjust. Their reply is "What would you have done? Would you have done exactly what we have? Have we raised you like that?" My emphatic reply was a "No". Honesty presupposes dishonesty. Thus those who are honest, will be evident to the deceiver, although the honest ones will often faithfully put trust in their fellow man, be it family or friend. And from then I understand that I could not blame them. Indeed, if no one were honest, there would be no case for faith or hope, and human civilization would have ended eons ago. To be honest and generous is to expose oneself. I ignorantly believed that to avoid deception, and dishonesty, my folks should not have been as open hearted and inviting in the first place. Fear of the exposure to dishonesty and an unwillingness to be honest and generous only makes one as worse as the deceiving serpents that one is trying to avoid. And before you know it, you are transformed into that which you despised.
My family has never been rich, except in spirit, but it has never been poor. My folks have never been greedy or hesitated to spend on friends, family or even their children. Despite the idea of saving money to "get ahead" for personal satisfactions, in my family, money has been used to the goodness of friends and family, and even us as their children, and rarely when my folks took that minor occasion to indulge, as eastern Armenians say "ktnerits ekav". My folks have always loaned money, to friends, family, that often went unpaid for months. They did not complain. They patiently waited and went about their merry ways. Of course when goodness is given it is hoped that one would understand that what we are offering is not money in and of itself, but our kindness and generosity that is offered through that money. We are not obligated to pay anyone. Why do we do it then? We do so as a means of kindness because we want to. It is not money we are offering, it is our heart and kindness. One would logically expect that this kindness be reciprocated in the form of honesty, not money. But that is not so. When someone needs money, is it bad to ask for some help? Does asking for some help tarnish ones ego and delusions of grandeur? If one really is in need of money, one should ask. My folks have never closed the door on someones face. Does one really need to engage in chicanery and deception in order to rip money off of family, the same family that helped you in the most dire times when none of the pretenders would? Are people this stupid? Are humans this hollow? Do they actually think we are only offering a material means of exchange, and not extending our character and honesty with it? If the only thing we are offering is material commodity, and not our spirits, and if by this interpretation it should come to mean that man is a mindless, soulless material creature, then do they honestly think we are foolish enough to "give out free money"? Methinks tis a lie.
"Money is the root of all evil" is about as wise as the advice you get from a thief, which is not much. Money is as good as its creators and users. Money is a reflection of us as humans, because it is created by us. It is a subjective value placed on a commodity as a means of exchange, but not on a moral, since you cannot place subjective values on morals. This little idea of "money" determines the happiness and well being of us. It represents something. But it is not something in and of itself. It is responsible for us feeling pleasure, and also pain and springs from our consciousness, since it is there where pain and pleasure are hardwired. If we were automatons, impervious to the sensitivies of pleasure and pain, we would not need money. Whether we lived in the streets or in a house it wouldn't matter then. Money represents the power to get pleasure for ourselves. The absence of money means pain and hardship. For those people that this becomes an end in itself, it only becomes a pleasure in itself, the pleasure found in having the power to get pleasure, often times at the expense of your friends and family. As Arthur Schopenhaur stated, "Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money." Greed deadens the nerves of sympathy of people and makes them deaf to the demands of honesty, and generosity. The universal pursuit of greed dethrones honor. Selfishess rules as the business of life. There is nothing wrong with wealth. When wealth is earned honestly it is just. When it is earned by pillaging the bonds of family, friends and love, it is unjust. I only hope that we should be wise enough and vigilant enough, to heed the deceivers ahead of time, before becoming deceived.
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