B Is For Bored and D Is For Ducks

[Anonymouse]

What do out of shape college students who just finished their first final do? Why, they make threads about ducks of course. Ducks are a particularly good form of stress release and relaxation (after cigarette smoke, and taking off your socks) especially during finals. I love ducks very much and here are some facts about ducks that I feel very strongly about:

Ducks have no lips and thus cannot use chapstick, so chapped bill is a major problem.

Romantic involvement with a duck is not a good idea, as the duck is very interested in your bread and probably is not very interested in sexual intercourse.

You may use your duck as a living feather pillow but it will probably make a lot of noise and poop a lot and possibly die.

Ducks are fusion powered and do not need to eat. The bread they eat is only used in the production of feces, as a leisure activity.

Ducks cannot smell fear and you are silly for thinking that they can.

Do not kill ducks because that is mean and would make you a mean person.

All comercially sold duck meat must be inspected by NASA, which is unusual because ducks don't come from space.

The duck's only natural predator is a bullets and maybe wolves or something, I don't know.

If your knowledge of ducks is as extensive as mine, feel free to share any interesting duck facts you might know.

[Anonymouse]

DUCKS!

[GSTracer05]

Did you run out of weed again?

[XxgoeyxX]

Ducks are reallly reallly cute!

[sSsflamesSs]

I still say titmice are funnier.

[Anonymouse]

Did you run out of weed again?

No I have not had weed for a long time, however, did you know that a common misconception is that if you step on a duck it sounds like you have passed gas or vise versa.

[GSTracer05]

No I have not had weed for a long time, however, did you know that a common misconception is that if you step on a duck it sounds like you have passed gas or vise versa.

No, I did not know that. Thank you for that very useful piece of information.

[Anonymouse]

DUCKS!

As is evidenced from the picture, a bunch of ducks can skeletonize a loaf of bread in approximately never minutes, relying upon their natural alacrity and bread's lack of a skeletal system.

[Anonymouse]

No, I did not know that. Thank you for that very useful piece of information.

You are very welcome. The average citizen is like the average voter, very misinformed and having a low political ( in this case duck ) efficacy. Thus I have taken it upon myself to enlighten the masses on duck related things.



Just before 11am each morning, a 50-foot red carpet is laid out, stretching from the hotel elevators to the marble fountain in the lobby. The Peabody Duck Master escorts the ducks from the Royal Duck Palace on the hotel's roof, to an elevator specially reserved for them. With all the pomp and circumstance of a royal event, the five Mallards, one drake and four hens, with their red-and-gold jacketed Duck Master, emerge from their elevator to the music of John Philip Sousa's King Cotton March.

http://www.peabodymemphis.com/asp/duc_duckMarch.asp?sec=mee&sub=duc

[GSTracer05]

Do tell us about the force feeding of ducks and how it is used to increase the size of their liver, producing foie gras, a so called delicacy.