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I Love Commercial Cartoon Characters

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  • I Love Commercial Cartoon Characters

    I know you probably don't care but recently I have been having "visions" (sort of like a famous saint or something) and it includes some of my favorite commercial cartoon characters. I loved watching their commercials as a kid when I watched Saturday Mornings on ABC, or FOX KIDS, or whatever (TV is bad). However, I am appalled now at the lack of appreciation these characters get now. As a loyal lover of these characters I refused to believe that they are criminals and that they were part of a vast government conspiracy to smear them. I was right! They all came to me in my dreams giving me some timeless words of wisdom.



    Toucan Sam has a big nose. If I was on acid I would think he is either Jewish or Armenian, but since he is not ( he is a toucan ), I was very eager to listen to what he had to say. Remember his famous line? "Follow my nose, to the wonderful flavors of Fruit Loops". Even though I am not gay I totally loved Fruit Loops, despite being a gay cereal, and having Toucan Sam ( who is gay because he has the rainbow on his nose ). I recommend it to all homophobes and homosexuals alike.



    Then there is Tony the Tiger who is so buff because he works out alot and because he eats part of the balanced breakfast that is Frosted Flakes. Is it me or do all these cereals sound gay now in hindsight? If Tony the Tiger were to fight Toucan Sam I would say that Tony the Tiger would kick his ass not just because Toucan Sam is a toucan, nor because he eats Fruit Loops, but because Frosted Flakes is way bettar than Fruit Loops in my humble opinion, odds are in favor of Tony the Tiger 2:1. He is most famous for "They're G-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-eat!". Wow! Simply superlative.



    And where would we be without Chester Cheetah. This character is easily the coolest and smoothest because he not only had sneakers and shades, but because he loved Cheetoh's. To show that subliminal messages work, I was one of those that not only loved stuffing myself with Cheetoh's after I watched these commercials, but I would steal them too! The 25 cent bags were the ones to steal, since it was easier and unnoticeable. Now they have not only gotten rid of the small bags, but they are priced extremely higher than before. If you are to be a wise consumer, you will only eat Cheetoh's if you're at a friends house and they happen to have it.



    The Trix rabbit is easily tied in with Toucan Sam and Fruit Loops as to the level of fruityness ( no pun intended ).



    And who remembers Kool-Aid Man!? I DO! I always imagined him as a firefighter but instead of water he used KOOL AID, and had a giant red hose which he shot the Kool-Aid out of. I seem to remember him breaking through walls in commercials but apparently he seems to have given up on that. It seems that he is more comfortable around little kids these days, and who do we punish for that? Michael Jackson! What's wrong with our justice system?



    And the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee is another cool bee because he sacrificed his colony to Cheerios. General Mills hunted down his bee hive and used all the bees to make the great tasting honey flavored Cheerios known as Honey Nut Cheerios. I don't know about you, but as a kid I was sort of "slow" and "special" so I always confused Cheetoh's with Cheerios.



    I guess Cap'n Crunch wasn't that cool because his cereal didn't taste as great and because he voted for Bush, I think.



    I ate Lucky Charms thinking it would bring me alot of luck, but it was untrue. Instead I learned that Lucky used marijuana.

    Aside from what seems to be alot of sexual innuendos in these cereals, they were all mostly good, and I would highly recommend them all to the loyal forumers. That is, if you are willing to pay about 5 bucks on average for a box of one of these.
    Achkerov kute.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Anonymouse
    Remember his famous line? "Follow my nose, to the wonderful flavors of Fruit Loops".
    Actually, that was "Follow my nose! It always knows!" Which...doesn't help the fruityness factor....



    Originally posted by Anonymouse
    The Trix rabbit is easily tied in with Toucan Sam and Fruit Loops as to the level of fruityness ( no pun intended ).
    Thus why he inspired the phrase "silly rabbit, d*cks are for chicks!"



    Originally posted by Anonymouse
    And who remembers Kool-Aid Man!
    He's not a cartoon.

    Originally posted by Anonymouse
    I guess Cap'n Crunch wasn't that cool because his cereal didn't taste as great and because he voted for Bush, I think.
    You FOOL! Cap'n Crunch is still heralded today as one of the greatest cereals ever invented. And those games on the back of the box!! I'm telling you! He kicks all forms of ass, including talking toucans, crouching tigers and hidden rabbits. Toucans, tigers and rabbits, OH MY!

    Originally posted by Anonymouse
    I ate Lucky Charms thinking it would bring me alot of luck, but it was untrue. Instead I learned that Lucky used marijuana.
    That explains the paranoia. "They're always after me lucky charms!!" WHO, Lucky? WHO?! There's no one there, you river dancing bastard!!



    You also forgot the greatest cereal of all time: Cooooooookie Crisp!

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    • #3
      I'm lactose intolerent.

      Comment


      • #4
        hahaaaa mouse you are funny and original as always the funny thing is i have the tv on now, and kcet has a program on the gay march of a few decades ago! listening to it in the background and reading this thread at the same time! ohhh myyyyy

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Crimson Glow
          Actually, that was "Follow my nose! It always knows!" Which...doesn't help the fruityness factor....
          You would know.





          Originally posted by Crimson Glow
          He's not a cartoon.
          He was a cartoon. That image doesn't happen to be him as a cartoon.


          Originally posted by Crimson Glow
          You FOOL! Cap'n Crunch is still heralded today as one of the greatest cereals ever invented. And those games on the back of the box!! I'm telling you! He kicks all forms of ass, including talking toucans, crouching tigers and hidden rabbits. Toucans, tigers and rabbits, OH MY!
          No I'm gonna have to disagree because Cap'n is clearly a sailor and therefore gay.


          Originally posted by Crimson Glow
          You also forgot the greatest cereal of all time: Cooooooookie Crisp!
          That was okay, but not the best. The best of all time has to be Cocoa Pebbles.
          Achkerov kute.

          Comment


          • #6
            I dissagree w/ Cocoa Pebbles. My all time favorite cereals were Frosted Flakes and Shredded Mini Wheats.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Anonymouse
              You would know.
              You're the one who eats it.



              Originally posted by Anonymouse
              He was a cartoon. That image doesn't happen to be him as a cartoon.
              The cartoon was a weak rendering of the actual Kool Aid man. The cartoon came after the fact, and is therefore, a counterfeit or psuedo-commercial cartoon character.



              Originally posted by Anonymouse
              No I'm gonna have to disagree because Cap'n is clearly a sailor and therefore gay.
              Well you've already professed your love of gay cereals, therefore, I don't believe you when you say that's the reason you don't like it. But even if it was.....he's a CAPTAIN, mouse....captain, not some lowly, pissant sailor. Like this guy:



              He was a captain, too, and he banged just about every chick that boarded his ship. Cap'n Crunch is just as much of a womanizing stud as Captain Merrille! There for, Cap'n Crunch rules! Case closed! (like your closet door....hahahahaha.....hahaha....haha....*ahem*... ..come on, folks. It was there, I had to....).



              Originally posted by Anonymouse
              That was okay, but not the best. The best of all time has to be Cocoa Pebbles.
              It was more than okay. It was the greatest. It also taught you that stealing was the best way to obtain some. Which other one of these cartoon sissys instilled such a strong, character building message?

              And your top pick is Cocoa Pebbles? A cereal represented by Fred....a 250 lb man who couldn't keep his 110 lb woman in check...and spent a lot more time with his friend, Barney, than his wife. Nothing good can come of this.

              Comment


              • #8
                Has anyone noticed all the healthy cereals don't have cartoon characters. Like Honey Crunches and Oats, that comercial just interviewed a bunch of people who make the cereal, and of course they like it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Crimson Glow
                  You're the one who eats it.
                  I wasn't nearly as attentive as you on his words of wisdom.





                  Originally posted by Crimson Glow
                  The cartoon was a weak rendering of the actual Kool Aid man. The cartoon came after the fact, and is therefore, a counterfeit or psuedo-commercial cartoon character.
                  Well, it was nonetheless a cartoon which makes it relevant to include it here so shut yet trap.



                  Originally posted by Crimson Glow
                  Well you've already professed your love of gay cereals, therefore, I don't believe you when you say that's the reason you don't like it. But even if it was.....he's a CAPTAIN, mouse....captain, not some lowly, pissant sailor. Like this guy:


                  This guy is clearly as gay as Cap'n Crunch therefore I don't see why you are mentioning him. Standing next to a woman which looks like a man hardly qualifies that dude for the label of pimp. And who knows, for all we know he was hey "gay buddy" and "shoulder to cry on" with the straight men ditched her because of her mustache.

                  Originally posted by Crimson Glow
                  He was a captain, too, and he banged just about every chick that boarded his ship. Cap'n Crunch is just as much of a womanizing stud as Captain Merrille! There for, Cap'n Crunch rules! Case closed! (like your closet door....hahahahaha.....hahaha....haha....*ahem*... ..come on, folks. It was there, I had to....).
                  Your defense of Cap'n Crunch is bordering on the line of gayness.



                  Originally posted by Crimson Glow
                  It was more than okay. It was the greatest. It also taught you that stealing was the best way to obtain some. Which other one of these cartoon sissys instilled such a strong, character building message?
                  Who wants to eat a cereal with such an ignoble message like that? Stealing is bad! If you eat Cookie Crisp you are therefore a thief.


                  Originally posted by Crimson Glow
                  And your top pick is Cocoa Pebbles? A cereal represented by Fred....a 250 lb man who couldn't keep his 110 lb woman in check...and spent a lot more time with his friend, Barney, than his wife. Nothing good can come of this.
                  Fred can easily kick Cap'N Crunchs ass by just sitting on him, and his cereal far outweighed Cookie Crisp in terms of fame and taste. Consumer demand speaks louder than imagination.
                  Achkerov kute.

                  Comment

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