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I know you probably don't care but recently I have been having "visions" (sort of like a famous saint or something) and it includes some of my favorite commercial cartoon characters. I loved watching their commercials as a kid when I watched Saturday Mornings on ABC, or FOX KIDS, or whatever (TV is bad). However, I am appalled now at the lack of appreciation these characters get now. As a loyal lover of these characters I refused to believe that they are criminals and that they were part of a vast government conspiracy to smear them. I was right! They all came to me in my dreams giving me some timeless words of wisdom.
Toucan Sam has a big nose. If I was on acid I would think he is either Jewish or Armenian, but since he is not ( he is a toucan ), I was very eager to listen to what he had to say. Remember his famous line? "Follow my nose, to the wonderful flavors of Fruit Loops". Even though I am not gay I totally loved Fruit Loops, despite being a gay cereal, and having Toucan Sam ( who is gay because he has the rainbow on his nose ). I recommend it to all homophobes and homosexuals alike.
Then there is Tony the Tiger who is so buff because he works out alot and because he eats part of the balanced breakfast that is Frosted Flakes. Is it me or do all these cereals sound gay now in hindsight? If Tony the Tiger were to fight Toucan Sam I would say that Tony the Tiger would kick his ass not just because Toucan Sam is a toucan, nor because he eats Fruit Loops, but because Frosted Flakes is way bettar than Fruit Loops in my humble opinion, odds are in favor of Tony the Tiger 2:1. He is most famous for "They're G-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-eat!". Wow! Simply superlative.
And where would we be without Chester Cheetah. This character is easily the coolest and smoothest because he not only had sneakers and shades, but because he loved Cheetoh's. To show that subliminal messages work, I was one of those that not only loved stuffing myself with Cheetoh's after I watched these commercials, but I would steal them too! The 25 cent bags were the ones to steal, since it was easier and unnoticeable. Now they have not only gotten rid of the small bags, but they are priced extremely higher than before. If you are to be a wise consumer, you will only eat Cheetoh's if you're at a friends house and they happen to have it.
The Trix rabbit is easily tied in with Toucan Sam and Fruit Loops as to the level of fruityness ( no pun intended ).
And who remembers Kool-Aid Man!? I DO! I always imagined him as a firefighter but instead of water he used KOOL AID, and had a giant red hose which he shot the Kool-Aid out of. I seem to remember him breaking through walls in commercials but apparently he seems to have given up on that. It seems that he is more comfortable around little kids these days, and who do we punish for that? Michael Jackson! What's wrong with our justice system?
And the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee is another cool bee because he sacrificed his colony to Cheerios. General Mills hunted down his bee hive and used all the bees to make the great tasting honey flavored Cheerios known as Honey Nut Cheerios. I don't know about you, but as a kid I was sort of "slow" and "special" so I always confused Cheetoh's with Cheerios.
I guess Cap'n Crunch wasn't that cool because his cereal didn't taste as great and because he voted for Bush, I think.
I ate Lucky Charms thinking it would bring me alot of luck, but it was untrue. Instead I learned that Lucky used marijuana.
Aside from what seems to be alot of sexual innuendos in these cereals, they were all mostly good, and I would highly recommend them all to the loyal forumers. That is, if you are willing to pay about 5 bucks on average for a box of one of these.
Toucan Sam has a big nose. If I was on acid I would think he is either Jewish or Armenian, but since he is not ( he is a toucan ), I was very eager to listen to what he had to say. Remember his famous line? "Follow my nose, to the wonderful flavors of Fruit Loops". Even though I am not gay I totally loved Fruit Loops, despite being a gay cereal, and having Toucan Sam ( who is gay because he has the rainbow on his nose ). I recommend it to all homophobes and homosexuals alike.
Then there is Tony the Tiger who is so buff because he works out alot and because he eats part of the balanced breakfast that is Frosted Flakes. Is it me or do all these cereals sound gay now in hindsight? If Tony the Tiger were to fight Toucan Sam I would say that Tony the Tiger would kick his ass not just because Toucan Sam is a toucan, nor because he eats Fruit Loops, but because Frosted Flakes is way bettar than Fruit Loops in my humble opinion, odds are in favor of Tony the Tiger 2:1. He is most famous for "They're G-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-eat!". Wow! Simply superlative.
And where would we be without Chester Cheetah. This character is easily the coolest and smoothest because he not only had sneakers and shades, but because he loved Cheetoh's. To show that subliminal messages work, I was one of those that not only loved stuffing myself with Cheetoh's after I watched these commercials, but I would steal them too! The 25 cent bags were the ones to steal, since it was easier and unnoticeable. Now they have not only gotten rid of the small bags, but they are priced extremely higher than before. If you are to be a wise consumer, you will only eat Cheetoh's if you're at a friends house and they happen to have it.
The Trix rabbit is easily tied in with Toucan Sam and Fruit Loops as to the level of fruityness ( no pun intended ).
And who remembers Kool-Aid Man!? I DO! I always imagined him as a firefighter but instead of water he used KOOL AID, and had a giant red hose which he shot the Kool-Aid out of. I seem to remember him breaking through walls in commercials but apparently he seems to have given up on that. It seems that he is more comfortable around little kids these days, and who do we punish for that? Michael Jackson! What's wrong with our justice system?
And the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee is another cool bee because he sacrificed his colony to Cheerios. General Mills hunted down his bee hive and used all the bees to make the great tasting honey flavored Cheerios known as Honey Nut Cheerios. I don't know about you, but as a kid I was sort of "slow" and "special" so I always confused Cheetoh's with Cheerios.
I guess Cap'n Crunch wasn't that cool because his cereal didn't taste as great and because he voted for Bush, I think.
I ate Lucky Charms thinking it would bring me alot of luck, but it was untrue. Instead I learned that Lucky used marijuana.
Aside from what seems to be alot of sexual innuendos in these cereals, they were all mostly good, and I would highly recommend them all to the loyal forumers. That is, if you are willing to pay about 5 bucks on average for a box of one of these.
the funny thing is i have the tv on now, and kcet has a program on the gay march of a few decades ago! listening to it in the background and reading this thread at the same time! ohhh myyyyy 
If you eat Cookie Crisp you are therefore a thief.
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