Mistakes Mistakes Mistakes!!!

[MARAL]

GreekGirl...this is no way a judgement...
I just find it interesting that you had an extramarital relationship/affair online(an affair is not only a sexual relationship but also the emotional connections that develop between two people outside of a marriage)
And then you confess online anonymously....
Like I said ... no judgement here...just an abservation...

[Sip]

But come on Maral ... is it really an "affair"? Are we going to police people's thoughts? For example, if I think about having sex with a goat, does that make me a bad person even if I never do it?

Now this is a very different topic but on the same token, I am absolutely disgusted when they arrest someone for just having child porn or something on their computer. I mean for God's sake yah that is fairly disturbing that a guy would have that but I am a FIRM believer that actions are what must be punished and NOT thought. Of course I also think those who produce child porn should be castrated and shipped to Turkey.

Having said that, I don't think having an online companion like that (online, phone, letters whatever as long as) is as bad as a physical/real affair ... however, it is probably an indication of some other very serious problems that must be dealt with.

... after all, when you marry, you do take a monogamy oath.

[MARAL]

If you are not willing to share your 'friendship' with this other person with your spouse,it can be defined as an affair...once again I and not judgeing here

[MARAL]

But come on Maral ... is it really an "affair"? Are we going to police people's thoughts? For example, if I think about having sex with a goat, does that make me a bad person even if I never do it?

Now this is a very different topic but on the same token, I am absolutely disgusted when they arrest someone for just having child porn or something on their computer. I mean for God's sake yah that is fairly disturbing that a guy would have that but I am a FIRM believer that actions are what must be punished and NOT thought. Of course I also think those who produce child porn should be castrated and shipped to Turkey.

Having said that, I don't think having an online companion like that (online, phone, letters whatever as long as) is as bad as a physical/real affair ... however, it is probably an indication of some other very serious problems that must be dealt with.

... after all, when you marry, you do take a monogamy oath.

and that goat thing Sip

[MARAL]

GreekGirl...and about mistakes in our lives...I've made tons...I mean TONS...none I'm eager to share with y'all right now

And needless to say...I have learned from them...yes they hurt me at the time...sometimes,well the majority of the time,I just hurt myself my being stupid...and I suffered....and then I learned my lesson...umm some I had to learn a few times before I REALLY got the message ..ah well...such is life as they say...
so I've made mistakes....I have suffered....and I have learned from them....and they have made me who I am today..and darn it...I LIKE MYSELF for who I am today!

[Siamanto]

Well he knew everything that im married with kids and all the truth.

In that case, if there's responsibility then he's - at least - as responsible as you are. Why was he jealous? What was he thinking? Did he expect to keep you away from your children?

About what made me post this threat ....hmmmm....i dunno i felt to share with someone and i also know that he s a member in this site so maybe he will read it.These words I wrote to the thread isnt smtg new for him cuz he knows all and i have explained him all so i think that i jus did it for myself for to share with someone else cuz by keeping it in me always makes me to explode.

I think that you are honest with yourself and the unfortunate and difficult situation that you have created. I think that you were unfair towards your family, but I respect your honesty.

[sad_eyes]

Only one that really really stands out in my head: Artur, Artur Artur. I deserve to burn in hell over everything about that....thats it.

[Siamanto]

As for me, I made the biggest mistake of all by choosing to come out of the womb.

Is it why men are fatally driven to a woman's womb: are we running away from the responsibility of our mistake, returning to where we came from?

[Siamanto]

Well I've made many mistakes for a number of years. I believe mistakes are the only way you learn from yourself.

Not necessarily true.

As that saying goes, if you learn from your mistakes you're wise, but if you learn from the mistakes of others, you're a genius (not to be confused with genus).

Disclaimer: I'm just playing the devil's advocate, or if you prefer playing a Logic Game.

First of all, I think that her statement does not contradict yours and does not exclude learning from mistakes others make; she said: "only way you learn from yourself.
In fact, the "but" in your statement may be interpreted as inclusive.
What "not necessarily true" means in this context?

Second of all - and most importantly - are you stating that there's no qualitative difference between "experiencing" and observing?

PS. Personally, I would have used the word "smart" instead of "genius."

[Anonymouse]

Disclaimer: I'm just playing the devil's advocate, or if you prefer playing a Logic Game.

First of all, I think that her statement does not contradict yours and does not exclude learning from mistakes others make; she said: "only way you learn from yourself.
In fact, the "but" in your statement may be interpreted as inclusive.
What "not necessarily true" means in this context?

Second of all - and most importantly - are you stating that there's no qualitative difference between "experiencing" and observing?

PS. Personally, I would have used the word "smart" instead of "genius."

I'm not necessarily implying that one cannot or should not learn from one's own mistakes, merely that if bad experiences or mistakes can be mitigated, why not? Simply put, if there are things that are possible to learn from other people's mistakes, it should be sought. However, they are indeed inclusive, and nor did I suggest you cannot learn from your mistakes.

However, I did suggest that, what one could have learned from one's own mistakes, one could have learned life's lesson from watching and observing those around, or reading books to gain insights into life. After all, what are most books but other people's life experiences compacted into pages? Experiences, that we in no way could have had the time or ability to experience ourselves to learn from. So where possible we can learn from those other peoples' experience. Or listening to our parents as we were growing up (yes I admit I was bad I thought I knew more!).

P.S. "Smart" or "genius" is a matter of preference. I think genius sums it up just fine.