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Funny Valentine poems

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  • #1

    Funny Valentine poems

    These are entries to a Junior High School competition asking for

    >>a rhyme with the most romantic first line- but the least romantic

    >>second

    >>line:

    >>

    >>* Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss ...

    >>But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed

    >>

    >>* Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, so are you. .

    >>.

    >>But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

    >>the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

    >>

    >>* Of loving beauty you float with grace ...

    >>If only you could hide your face .

    >>

    >>* I thought that I could love no other ...

    >>Until, that is, I met your brother .

    >>

    >>* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot ...

    >>This describes everything you are not .

    >>

    >>* I want to feel your sweet embrace ...

    >>But don't take that paper bag off your face .

    >>

    >>* I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ...

    >>Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

    >>

    >>* Every time I see your face ...

    >>I wish I were in outer space .

    >>

    >>* My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife ...

    >>Marrying you screwed up my life .

    >>

    >>* I see your face when I am dreaming ...

    >>That's why I always wake up screaming .

    >>* My love you take my breath away ...

    >>What have you stepped in to smell this way .


    >>* What inspired this amorous rhyme? ...

    >>Two parts vodka, one part lime .

    >>
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, and so am I.
    Achkerov kute.

    Comment

    • #3
      The real meaning behind the descriptions in personal ads:

      40-ish.................. 48
      Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
      Athletic................ Flat-chested
      Average looking......... Ugly
      Beautiful............... Pathological liar
      Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
      Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
      Free spirit............. Substance user
      Fun..................... Annoying
      Gentle.................. Comatose
      New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
      Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic
      Professional............ Real Witch
      Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
      Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
      Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
      Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
      Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
      Widow................... Nagged first husband to death

      Comment

      • #4
        I am a mild-mannered Tampon Salesman from the Shady Side! I enjoy drinking, and playing pool. I have hobbies( drinking and playing pool). I have an adopt-a-kid named Billy Mays! I have black hair on my head and orange hair on my body because I bathe in Oxiclean and Orange Glo! I eat Mr. T cereal and I have a fake gold rimmed champagne glass that I am drinking milk out of right now!
        Achkerov kute.

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