Post the Funniest Jokes You Know

[crooklyn]

dont stress the sarcasm...the simple folk might not conceptualize it

[Essodino]

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back.
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said: "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah... My wife!"
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A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers.

"Hi, is Tony home?"

"No, Chris, he went to the store."

"Well, do you mind if I wait?"

"No, come on in."

They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I've ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Sara thinks about this for a second and figures, what the hell, a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows him one. He thanks her and promptly throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "They are just so beautiful! I've got to see them both. I'll give you another hundred if I could just see them both together."

Sara say what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another hundred bucks on the table and says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and says, "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"
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Three Men Die and go to Heaven
there are 3 guys driving in a car, one is gay another wants to be rich, and another wants power. They get in a car accident and all go to heaven, and God says I will give you another chance to live if you all resist the things that you love the most. so they are walking along the street and God decides to test them all so as they are walking along there is a sign above a store and it says all the power you want for free!!
The guy who wanted power runs in and poof he disappears, so the gay guy and the guy who wants to be rich are walking along and there is a 1,000,000,000 dollar bill lying on the ground the guy who wants to be rich leans over to pick it up and poof... the gay guy disappears!!!