Announcement

Collapse

Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!)

1] What you CAN NOT post.

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this forum to post any material which is:
- abusive
- vulgar
- hateful
- harassing
- personal attacks
- obscene

You also may not:
- post images that are too large (max is 500*500px)
- post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or cited properly.
- post in UPPER CASE, which is considered yelling
- post messages which insult the Armenians, Armenian culture, traditions, etc
- post racist or other intentionally insensitive material that insults or attacks another culture (including Turks)

The Ankap thread is excluded from the strict rules because that place is more relaxed and you can vent and engage in light insults and humor. Notice it's not a blank ticket, but just a place to vent. If you go into the Ankap thread, you enter at your own risk of being clowned on.
What you PROBABLY SHOULD NOT post...
Do not post information that you will regret putting out in public. This site comes up on Google, is cached, and all of that, so be aware of that as you post. Do not ask the staff to go through and delete things that you regret making available on the web for all to see because we will not do it. Think before you post!


2] Use descriptive subject lines & research your post. This means use the SEARCH.

This reduces the chances of double-posting and it also makes it easier for people to see what they do/don't want to read. Using the search function will identify existing threads on the topic so we do not have multiple threads on the same topic.

3] Keep the focus.

Each forum has a focus on a certain topic. Questions outside the scope of a certain forum will either be moved to the appropriate forum, closed, or simply be deleted. Please post your topic in the most appropriate forum. Users that keep doing this will be warned, then banned.

4] Behave as you would in a public location.

This forum is no different than a public place. Behave yourself and act like a decent human being (i.e. be respectful). If you're unable to do so, you're not welcome here and will be made to leave.

5] Respect the authority of moderators/admins.

Public discussions of moderator/admin actions are not allowed on the forum. It is also prohibited to protest moderator actions in titles, avatars, and signatures. If you don't like something that a moderator did, PM or email the moderator and try your best to resolve the problem or difference in private.

6] Promotion of sites or products is not permitted.

Advertisements are not allowed in this venue. No blatant advertising or solicitations of or for business is prohibited.
This includes, but not limited to, personal resumes and links to products or
services with which the poster is affiliated, whether or not a fee is charged
for the product or service. Spamming, in which a user posts the same message repeatedly, is also prohibited.

7] We retain the right to remove any posts and/or Members for any reason, without prior notice.


- PLEASE READ -

Members are welcome to read posts and though we encourage your active participation in the forum, it is not required. If you do participate by posting, however, we expect that on the whole you contribute something to the forum. This means that the bulk of your posts should not be in "fun" threads (e.g. Ankap, Keep & Kill, This or That, etc.). Further, while occasionally it is appropriate to simply voice your agreement or approval, not all of your posts should be of this variety: "LOL Member213!" "I agree."
If it is evident that a member is simply posting for the sake of posting, they will be removed.


8] These Rules & Guidelines may be amended at any time. (last update September 17, 2009)

If you believe an individual is repeatedly breaking the rules, please report to admin/moderator.
See more
See less

Post the Funniest Jokes You Know

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Post the Funniest Jokes You Know

    Q:What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    A:Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to have sex with little kids.

    So this seal walks into a club, right? And after a few drinks it gets picked up and raped by Greenpeace activists in some shady backalley


    A man goes to the doctor for a few tests to determine why he's been feeling so bad lately. The doctor returns with the test results looking rather grim.

    "Mr. Johnson," he says, "I have bad news and I have worse news. Which do you want first?"
    "The worse news," he replied.
    "You have cancer."
    "Jesus Christ! What's the bad news?"
    "You also have Alzheimer's disease."
    Mr. Johnson looked puzzled for a minute, then smiled with relief. "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
    Achkerov kute.

  • #2
    A bear and a rabbit are taking a shyt.
    The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have a problem with shyt sticking to your fur?"
    The rabbit says "No".
    So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
    Achkerov kute.

    Comment


    • #3
      blonde jokes...

      1. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
      (It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.)

      2. How did the blonde die drinking milk? (The cow stepped on her.)

      3. Why do blondes have more fun? (They're easier to amuse! .)

      4. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? (Frosted flakes.)>

      5. Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air?
      (She missed.)

      6. What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?
      (Data transfer.)

      7. Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
      (Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese)

      8. Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead?
      (She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.)

      9. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs? (She needed them for the darkroom she was building.)

      10. Why are Asians so smart? (No blondes.)

      A group of blondes in a class at Texas A&M University were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they fell off the ladders, dropped the tape measures and pencils -- the whole thing was just a
      mess.
      An engineering student comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gives the measurement to one of the blondes and walks away. After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed: "Isn't that just like a dumb engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"

      Comment


      • #4
        Here, you guys need something funny and entertaining, check this parrot out!

        Last edited by EYYBABA23; 02-10-2005, 03:05 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. "Mom, look,

          I'm a white boy." His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your father".

          He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says "Go show your grandmother."

          The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira,
          abuelita, I'm a white boy " His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.

          His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"

          To which the boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans."

          Comment


          • #6
            Man of the House

            The husband had just finished reading the book, MAN OF THE HOUSE. He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessertafterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"



            ...His wife replied, "The funeral director"?

            ------------------------

            Have you heard about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
            Her husband is out looking for the other man.

            ------------------------
            Q: What did the bananna say to the vibrator?????


            A: What are you shakin for she is gunna eat me .....!
            ------------------------
            Dearly Departed

            A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

            The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

            The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

            The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband

            Comment


            • #7
              how do you get a nun pregant?

              dress her up as a altar boy.

              Comment


              • #8
                So Jesus and Saint Peter. Wait. No. O.K. God and Saint Peter are sitting up in heaven talking. So God says. “You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve taken a vacation.” Saint Peter thinks about it and says. “Yea, at least a few thousand years or so. So where ya wanna go?” God Thinks about it for a few seconds and says. “I dunno. Got any suggestions?” Well Saint Peter thinks about it a bit and says. “How about Pluto? You could relax, take in some skiing.” “No no no.” God says. “Too cold.” Saint Peter thinks about it some more and says. “How about Mars? You could go rock climbing, take in a show.” “Nah, I don’t think so.” God says. Now this time Saint Peter thinks long and hard and finally says. “Hey, how about Earth? You haven’t been there in ages.” “Not a chance.” God says. “Last time I went there I knocked up this Jewish bytch and started all kinds of trouble.”
                Achkerov kute.

                Comment


                • #9
                  a preist was nervous before his first time on the altar and he went to the head of the church what he did his first time. the father said "well i just keep a glas of vodka nearby and take a sip when i get nervous"

                  so the preist did this and felt very good about himself but has he was walking in his office the next day a letter was pinned to his door it said:

                  sip the vodka, dont gulp
                  its the father the son and the holy ghost, not jr, daddy and the spook.
                  jesus offered a glass of wine as his blood, he did not break bread and say "eat me".
                  david knocked joseph off his donkey, he did not get stoned off is ass.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ummm ok lol i dont know any jokes

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X