What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

[Siggie]

Re: Engagement Ring Finger

Why should we separate? I never understood this. We should always keep our ties with parents, keep our parents involved in our lives, live with our parents until we start a family of our own. Of course you make your own choices, but you still remain connected to your parents/family, which is very healthy.

Strawman! Stop doing that. It's at least the second or third time you're misrepresenting my position to make it easier to knock down. I didn't say to cut off all contact with your parents and only see them on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Being connected and keeping ties is one thing; giving your parents veto power over your relationships is quite another.

[Mos]

Re: Engagement Ring Finger

Strawman! Stop doing that. It's at least the second or third time you're misrepresenting my position to make it easier to knock down. I didn't say to cut off all contact with your parents and only see them on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Being connected and keeping ties is one thing; giving your parents veto power over your relationships is quite another.

I think the decision of whom to marry should be one made with your parents after being sure that the partner is the person whom you want to marry. Parents in general are going to be rather lenient, unless the partner really has something bad in her. Parents can be good judges also, and see things that you cannot see, especially when one is enveloped with emotions.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Sometimes "bad" is a matter of opinion.

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Sometimes "bad" is a matter of opinion.

Well others might pick up things about that person that you might not be able to. Your parents, knowing you very well, and having more experience can also pick up such things about the person...

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Well others might pick up things about that person that you might not be able to. Your parents, knowing you very well, and having more experience can also pick up such things about the person...

Your response to my pointing out that there might disagreement is "your parents know better"? So basically, if you disagree with your parents, you must be wrong because there wouldn't have been a disagreement otherwise. If there's a mismatch between your opinion and your parent's then you're automatically wrong because if the options are either that it's you or your parents who are wrong, it's you because your parents are older and have a different perspective than you.

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Your response to my pointing out that there might disagreement is "your parents know better"? So basically, if you disagree with your parents, you must be wrong because there wouldn't have been a disagreement otherwise. If there's a mismatch between your opinion and your parent's then you're automatically wrong because if the options are either that it's you or your parents who are wrong, it's you because your parents are older and have a different perspective than you.

No I'm not saying the parents are always right when you are wrong, but nonetheless one should heed and respect his parent's opinion/decision, especially because parents have a different perspective and probably know you better than anyone else.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

No I'm not saying the parents are always right when you are wrong, but nonetheless one should heed and respect his parent's opinion/decision, especially because parents have a different perspective and probably know you better than anyone else.

So you're saying even if you think your parents are wrong, you should do what they say?

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

So you're saying even if you think your parents are wrong, you should do what they say?

Sometimes you might disagree with your parents, but in reality your parents be right. In other cases, sure they might make the wrong decision also, but in the end, they want the best for you. Obviously, in such cases, you may compromise with your parents or try to find common ground in the decision.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Sometimes you might disagree with your parents, but in reality your parents be right. In other cases, sure they might make the wrong decision also, but in the end, they want the best for you. Obviously, in such cases, you may compromise with your parents or try to find common ground in the decision.

You don't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. You believe they're wrong. What do you do? It sounds very much to me like you're saying you just go along with what they say because they're your parents. Is that your position or not? Stop sidestepping it.

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

You don't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. You believe they're wrong. What do you do? It sounds very much to me like you're saying you just go along with what they say because they're your parents. Is that your position or not? Stop sidestepping it.

It's difficult to give you a single answer to that, because it depends on the situation and the problem that you guys disagree on. In some issues, it will be tolerable to go your own way, in others it is better to just go with your parent's advice. I would say in most cases, it's better to go with your parent's advice, rather than do things against their will. Best thing of course is to find compromise if possible.