What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

[Hyegirl]

Re: Engagement Ring Finger

So you're suggesting that you should let others dictate your life for fear that one day you might need their help?

Let me ask you this then. What would you personally do if your parents weren't crazy about your girlfriend whom you wanted to marry? What do you do when you disagree?

You should listen, discuss, share your views. If you really believe that this person is really the one you should or probably should end up with, then you should have good reasons why they are good mate. Parents have concerns, but you may have rebuttals or solutions to problems that they see. You can show them that not only are these concerns not a problem, and perhaps something that you have already considered, but they have all of these great traits too. Or maybe you will understand something they see that you hadn't seen because of the differences in perspectives and limited view as a younger, less experienced person, and that can help to at least make a more educated decision or know how to approach something in the relationship.

Nothing beats and open and honest discussion with parents when it gets serious enough, and a willingness to at least listen to what they say and communicate your perspective as well. At least that way, even if you do disagree, you know why they don't approve, what you think about that reason, what you are getting into, and can at least have and earn some measure of respect-something that is important because unless your family is a living hell, your and perhaps your significant other's relationship with them will matter in the long run.

[KanadaHye]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Okay, so you're arguing that parents should be given absolute veto power on marriages of their adult children. Thanks for clarifying.

Unless you want to end up like Princess Diana, better make sure your in-laws approve of your entrance into the family

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Okay, so you're arguing that parents should be given absolute veto power on marriages of their adult children. Thanks for clarifying.

I think it's best that your decision goes well with both families, if you in the long run want to maintain your ties with the family. As Kanadahye said before, this is also a marriage between the two families, and if the two families despise each other, I don't see how the marriage will work.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Well when it comes to marriage, I would advice, if parents are outright against it, for you to go with your parent's advice. It's the better decision for the long run. In other issues, compromise may be possible.

Okay, so you're arguing that parents should be given absolute veto power on marriages of their adult children. Thanks for clarifying.

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

How do you compromise on the decision of whom to marry?

Well when it comes to marriage, I would advice, if parents are outright against it, for you to go with your parent's advice. It's the better decision for the long run. In other issues, compromise may be possible.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

It's difficult to give you a single answer to that, because it depends on the situation and the problem that you guys disagree on. In some issues, it will be tolerable to go your own way, in others it is better to just go with your parent's advice. I would say in most cases, it's better to go with your parent's advice, rather than do things against their will. Best thing of course is to find compromise if possible.

How do you compromise on the decision of whom to marry?

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

You don't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. You believe they're wrong. What do you do? It sounds very much to me like you're saying you just go along with what they say because they're your parents. Is that your position or not? Stop sidestepping it.

It's difficult to give you a single answer to that, because it depends on the situation and the problem that you guys disagree on. In some issues, it will be tolerable to go your own way, in others it is better to just go with your parent's advice. I would say in most cases, it's better to go with your parent's advice, rather than do things against their will. Best thing of course is to find compromise if possible.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

Sometimes you might disagree with your parents, but in reality your parents be right. In other cases, sure they might make the wrong decision also, but in the end, they want the best for you. Obviously, in such cases, you may compromise with your parents or try to find common ground in the decision.

You don't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. You believe they're wrong. What do you do? It sounds very much to me like you're saying you just go along with what they say because they're your parents. Is that your position or not? Stop sidestepping it.

[Mos]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

So you're saying even if you think your parents are wrong, you should do what they say?

Sometimes you might disagree with your parents, but in reality your parents be right. In other cases, sure they might make the wrong decision also, but in the end, they want the best for you. Obviously, in such cases, you may compromise with your parents or try to find common ground in the decision.

[Siggie]

Re: What should be the parents' role in their children's romantic relationships?

No I'm not saying the parents are always right when you are wrong, but nonetheless one should heed and respect his parent's opinion/decision, especially because parents have a different perspective and probably know you better than anyone else.

So you're saying even if you think your parents are wrong, you should do what they say?