Fidelity

[Anonymouse]

Well, this is my best attempt to counter all the sex related threads that are popping up like poisonous mushrooms. People wonder why their relationships never last long, or why they can't settle on one relationship, and all one has to do is look into peoples infidelity.

Making too many sex threads is another sign of a weak mind.

How important is fidelity in a relationship? How important do you hold it? Is it easier to give in to temptation than to hold high your virtues? Does infidelity have anything to do with love, in other words, if you really love someone, whatever "love" is to you, but for the purposes of this thread I'll define it as the total understanding the two have of one another in body and soul, would you still cheat on them? I know our common sense answer is "no", but how many times are we plagued with these situations? Moreover it is not the situations themselves since we will all be presented with temptations and other situations that test our character in life, but rather how we respond to these fluctuations in life.

As for my personal view, I would like to uphold fidelity and the idea of not ever cheating on whoever it is that I proclaim my love for, but I guess the only time I'll know is when I am tested.

Your thoughts please.

[jahannam]

we've had this discussion before in a thread called "infidelity" I believe.
but anyway
of course fidelity's important in a relationship. when you have feelings for someone, only the THOUGHT of them TOUCHING someone else is pretty disturbing.
but as in any other case, there's both kinds of people in this world. ones that cheat, and ones that don't.
and yes.
it's a given.
everyone knows cheating is wrong.
so I dunno why you started this thread.

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by jahannam we've had this discussion before in a thread called "infidelity" I believe.
but anyway
of course fidelity's important in a relationship. when you have feelings for someone, only the THOUGHT of them TOUCHING someone else is pretty disturbing.
but as in any other case, there's both kinds of people in this world. ones that cheat, and ones that don't.
and yes.
it's a given.
everyone knows cheating is wrong.
so I dunno why you started this thread.

]

Well, xxxx there's only so many discussions you can talk about. One can say the same about the sex related threads. Honestly it's getting annoying and boring.

Perhaps you should read the questions further and develop your ideas further instead of asking inane questions such as "so i dunno why you started this thread".

[SexyAries]

Personally I have cheated, although I except that it is wrong, I, for some reason, have still given in to temptation many times. I guess it is a liking for diversity, or it could be a insecurness I really dont know. But I have cheated on people I havn't really liked or just liked a little and I have cheated on the only guy I have ever really came close to loving. Like Jahannam said, there are two kinds of people in this world. Ones that cheat, and ones that don't. I am the one that does and I don't know if I will ever not cheat on a guy, I'm hoping I stop just because I know its wrong, it hurts the other person and I know there has to be something wrong with me, I just can't put my finger on it. So my opinion is that cheating is wrong and if this was a perfect world and we were perfect people we wouldn't cheat, but this isn't a perfect world and we arn't perfect people so it depends on the person and how strong they are. Some people find it so wrong that they just couldn't even imagine it so it is easy for them not to cheat, others have insecurities or issues with commitment, (there are so many reasons....) and it is harder for them not to cheat or they just don't care.

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by SexyAries Personally I have cheated, although I except that it is wrong, I, for some reason, have still given in to temptation many times. I guess it is a liking for diversity, or it could be a insecurness I really dont know. But I have cheated on people I havn't really liked or just liked a little and I have cheated on the only guy I have ever really came close to loving. Like Jahannam said, there are two kinds of people in this world. Ones that cheat, and ones that don't. I am the one that does and I don't know if I will ever not cheat on a guy, I'm hoping I stop just because I know its wrong, it hurts the other person and I know there has to be something wrong with me, I just can't put my finger on it. So my opinion is that cheating is wrong and if this was a perfect world and we were perfect people we wouldn't cheat, but this isn't a perfect world and we arn't perfect people so it depends on the person and how strong they are. Some people find it so wrong that they just couldn't even imagine it so it is easy for them not to cheat, others have insecurities or issues with commitment, (there are so many reasons....) and it is harder for them not to cheat or they just don't care.

It's not a matter of perfection. I know many people who don't cheat. Ultimately 99% of us go through life never changing. People that truly change are rare for it takes alot to change.

It ultimately comes down to a sense of understanding, if you fall in love, and even if you end up later not loving the person, it is still not right to cheat, instead break it off then cheat, but people that do, to me at least, have selfish desires that necessarily transcend the needs of others. It is ultimately who we are, and like they say "once you cheat, you'll always cheat".

I would imagine that those who cheat wouldn't like it if they get cheated on.

[spiral]

I’m not a very mushy person, nor is finding “love” or its meaning, my top priority.

But, By love I would LIKE to understand a force, -a force created by the fusion of two people who devote their emotions to one another, which in return inflicts upon them intertwining of mind body and soul.

The reason ‘love’ I would like to believe to exist, is because I would fancy that it is a counter existence to all the false piety of humans and their relations, and relationships with each other.

Now if ‘love’ carries within it the virtue I would hope it does, then infidelity will not be an option in such a relationship.

----------
As for all these lame xxxxs who constantly post about how they do blow jobs, or “eat out” each other. I’d say that those are not acts of love- merely animal behavior.

So…don’t “brag”-

seek help.

[chille]

I personally don't think that cheating is right, well I guess noone thinks that it is right. But I have cheated once in my whole entire life and it was bad, I mean I felt horrible. At that point of my life I was in a long-distance relationship, I didnt see my bf for like 6 months and then my ex bf came, so ... I mean we didnt have sex but we were very physical.
Even though people say "once a cheater - always a cheater" I disagree. Everyone makes mistakes, the difference is that some people learn and others just do it over again without even feeling guilty.

[ckBejug]

Originally posted by Anonymouse
How important is fidelity in a relationship? How important do you hold it? Is it easier to give in to temptation than to hold high your virtues? Does infidelity have anything to do with love, in other words, if you really love someone, whatever "love" is to you, but for the purposes of this thread I'll define it as the total understanding the two have of one another in body and soul, would you still cheat on them? I know our common sense answer is "no", but how many times are we plagued with these situations? Moreover it is not the situations themselves since we will all be presented with temptations and other situations that test our character in life, but rather how we respond to these fluctuations in life.

Asking 'how important is fidelity' is, in my opinion, equivalent to asking how impoartant is trust in a relationship. Simply put, like trust, fidelity is something without which a relationship can't last. I'm big on the whole love thing, by now that should be obvious, but I think that this issue goes beyond 'why would you cheat on me if you loved me???' Not cheating on someone is a matter of respect. Even in moments where we lose ourselves and really just want physical gratification, we don't completely lose all our senses and we always always make the conscious decision to take the next step and to cheat. You can use a thousand excuses:I was drunk, I couldn't help myself, I was being stupid, I missed you and you were so far away, I am a bad person and I don't know why I did it because I love you (<--- my personal favorite! ), none of them will take away from the fact that you cheated, you broke someone's trust, and you disrespected whatever it was you had with that person. There is such a thing as resecting the person you are with, EVEN if you feel you don't like or love them anymore, and being a 'man' about it and coming clean. Why is this so hard for people?? You don't want to date someone anymore, then tell them. You want to go out and 'explore your options' then tell them. I think what people do is get this itch to go see what's out there but they don't want to lose what they have just in case what's out there isn't so great, so they cheat and they lie and they make a big mess of things....

As for me, I've been there and I would never disrespect anyone enough to have done that. Even if I felt terrible about having to break up with someone because I felt something for another person, if the feelings for the other guy were strong, I'd fess up and tell the truth and face the consequences. I'd rather be truthful and feel guilty for hurting someone a little than be a lying rat and feel guilty for hurting someone to the point where 'I'm sorry' isn't even enough.

Hey SexyA, when you say you've cheated on people you didn't really like that much, what do you mean? I mean, do you consider it cheating if you're going out with several people at the same time? You shouldn't be getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship if you can describe someone as being someone you 'don't really like that much.' There's your first bad call. (The second being that you go ahead and cheat on them instead of just saying you want to date right now instead of being exclusive, problem solved, and you don't have to be the 'cheater'...)

[loseyourname]

I am a very mushy person, and loving someone and being loved in return is very important to me. I have always held my principles high and will continue to do so. I have been in several committed relationships, and I have been tempted to cheat more than my fair share of times. I have never given in and I never will. Sexual gratification is fleeting and to be honest, it isn't all that important to me. I would rather be in a loving relationship with no sex than in a sexual relationship with no love, and ultimately in any committed relationship, love is more important than anything. There are few things a person can do that are less loving than betraying another person's trust. It is a line that should never be crossed. Those who cheat are weak and should not be in a committed relationship to begin with. Love is not easy. It takes hard work and it takes discipline. It's a lot more than just a fuzzy feeling and it isn't to be played around with.

[ckBejug]

Originally posted by loseyourname There are few things a person can do that are less loving than betraying another person's trust. It is a line that should never be crossed. Those who cheat are weak and should not be in a committed relationship to begin with. Love is not easy. It takes hard work and it takes discipline. It's a lot more than just a fuzzy feeling and it isn't to be played around with.

I'm glad someone else out there gets it.