my bf is leaving me

[Margi]

Hi everyone, I was wondering if someone could help me. my first boyfriend made me have sex with him and told me that he was going to marry me. i believed him and was all happy with him until my parents told me that i couldnt be with him. they wouldnt let me see him. so i broke up with him. after a year i met someone and loved him like crazy. he loved me too. we've been together for a year now. and he found out what happened between me and my ex. after 6 months of knowing it he is telling me that he cant except the fact that i had sex with him and he is basically leaving me. i love him so much that i'll do anything in the world for him. how can i get him back. i mean he understood it at first but than he is telling me now that he wants a virgin girl. i want him back, please tell how to.

[Siggie]

If he would leave you for that reason, perhaps you're better off without him.

[ArmoBarbi]

He "made" you have sex with him?? I have had guys try, but I have control of my own body (it's called a mind) and therefore they cannot MAKE me unless they use a drug or physical force which would be RAPE. If you gave in by yourself then don't make him out to be responsible.

Now, I can understand having trouble accepting that your partner has been with someone before you. I am like that myself. Although if he really wants you, it will not stop him.

Just make sure he knows fully how you feel and give him the room to make his choice. Don't cry and beg. That's just degrading. There is no way you can have a healthy relationship if you get him that way.

Please don't take any of this as insulting. We are here to help you. I hope things work out for the best. ~Svetlana~

[Sip]

He sounds like a total dumb ass. Next thing you know he's going to tell you your job is in the kitchen making babies and pie.

Definitely sounds like you're better off without him ... and don't think YOU are at fault here. This is a hang up that he has to deal with ... not you.

[gevo]

Hi everyone, I was wondering if someone could help me. my first boyfriend made me have sex with him and told me that he was going to marry me. i believed him and was all happy with him until my parents told me that i couldnt be with him. they wouldnt let me see him. so i broke up with him. after a year i met someone and loved him like crazy. he loved me too. we've been together for a year now. and he found out what happened between me and my ex. after 6 months of knowing it he is telling me that he cant except the fact that i had sex with him and he is basically leaving me. i love him so much that i'll do anything in the world for him. how can i get him back. i mean he understood it at first but than he is telling me now that he wants a virgin girl. i want him back, please tell how to.

H is a smart guy unless he is not a virgin himself. BUT.. he doesnt necessarily have to leave you.. thats up to every individual to decide.. I believ that if he loves you, and you trully love him back and are sorry for what has happened... and may i even go as far as to say ("ask forgiveness from God") then i think he may be just troubled by the fact that you didnt tell him soon enough.. and he has very high standards.. which if any calls him a dumb ass because of that.. then they themselves are shallow minded individuals who hypocritically would defend the oposite position...

But... i think if you love him so much and if he ever loved you back that much. hemay find it in his heart to forgive... he should..
Is he a virgin? if not then he is a hypocrit, and some of the other advice may be more suitable for himmm

[Sip]

... I believ that if he loves you, and you trully love him back and are sorry for what has happened... and may i even go as far as to say ("ask forgiveness from God") then ...

What a pathetic thing to say. It's attitudes like this that make poor Margi feel like she has done something "wrong" No need to appologize to anyone. Save your appologies for when you do something wrong.

[gevo]

What a pathetic thing to say. It's attitudes like this that make poor Margi feel like she has done something "wrong" No need to appologize to anyone. Save your appologies for when you do something wrong.

It is not so pathetic if you believ in the notion of a pure relationship, one that will last, one not full of jealousy and dispair.. cause yes, that is what pre-marital sex leave syou with.. just like her case.. a prime example.. and she isnt even getting married... So, in other words i think your view of it not being wrong is pathetic.. and i do not say this oto make her feel bad... she shouldnt..soo long as she has acepted her "mistake".. and yes. that is what it is.. a mistake.. now go chew on your carpet...

[SagGal]

Margi, I think that if he loves you very much, he will get over it and come back to you. I don't think that you should try to get him back because you obviously don't have a specific thing that is very important to him, and that is virginity.
Not to be rude, but he seems like a jerk from what you told us because if he knows why you lost your virginity (considering you losing it to that ex boyfriend you mentioned) I'd think he wouldn't make a big thing out of it. I mean, you were hurt later on because you had to break up with your ex. But anyways, best of luck though.

[Sip]

... one not full of jealousy and dispair.. cause yes, that is what pre-marital sex leave syou with.. just like her case.. a prime example.

Wow ... you figured all this out about her just like that?

Gev, stop judging people so much and let God sort it out later. You have no idea what kind of person she is and what kinds of relationships she can form. Just because she has had sex doesn't make she is some sort of relationship cripple for the rest of her life.

[sad_eyes]

Sounds like both of your boyfriends were morons. You need to progress in your choices here.

Normally I would never say anything like this but my sympathies to your significant other. That is, if you have one or ever will. And if you do...than an escape is all they are thinking about.