Is age nothing but a number?

[ArmoBarbi]

*There might be a thread on this topic already, but I havent found it.*
I've been reading Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita this week and have become even more than normally disgusted with the idea of an older man having an intimate relationship with a teenager.

We know that there have been numerous couples throughout history with huge age differences and yet functional relationships. Many societies, like often our own, have no problem with a man in his 30s marrying a 17yo.

Are we really suppose to blindly follow the onset of puberty or should other aspects be considered? Provided the younger counterpart is ready for the given type of relations, is it ever right? Can they be a real couple by our standards?

This fall, I dated a 23yo (Im 19), and had no age-related issues, probably because we were at similar places in our lives. Imagining myself with a guy who has finished school and gotten into a career, however, I can see all sorts of issues coming up. Then again, its not all about the place. Last month, I was asked out by a student from Greece at my college who told me that he was 26yo. I felt sooo uncomfortable. How could three years make such a difference? Thoroughly confused.

So what do you think about the issue of age difference in a romantic relationship? Is it just another socially conditioned reaction? Is it unnatural after a certain point?

Would you ever marry a person significantly younger or older than you? (Significantly meaning enough to raise the eyebrows of your friends and family, I suppose) Personally, I love it when the guy is noticably older, but I guess 7 years is too much even for me. (And my mother did raise her eyebrow at 23)

[Emil]

If you want to know the minimum age you should be dating, follow this simple rule:Take your age, divide it in half, and add 7.

[Anonymouse]

If you want to know the minimum age you should be dating, follow this simple rule:Take your age, divide it in half, and add 7.

Thank God for these golden rules otherwise the world would be a mess

[Hayq]

im guessing its because he was from Greece rather than the Age. You said you liked the other guy because he was from the same place you were...or some sh*t like that, too lazy to quote.

[nunechka]

emil thanks for the rules, please please NO MORE RULES! anony already killed the rules thread with his blah blah blah!... (love you dearly anony)

ms. barbi, i have been, as of lately interested in the sexual levels of the human body at certain ages...

http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=anatomy&refid=008

this link will explain this: men peak at 20 and woman 30 to 35, so if we were to determine the perfect age by sexual peak we would say that a woman at 30 should marry a man at 20...

it sounds insane but maybe its time to change this rule of men being older then women... what do you all think?

[ArmoBarbi]

Whatever floats your boat! If the couple is happy with the man being younger then it must not be a problem for them. My mothers husband is two years younger than her and he says its the only way to go. It doesnt bother my mother. My post is about general views and attitudes.

Nunechka, how is the inconsistency in the peak ages explained?

Hayq, I was speaking of place in life, not geographical proximity (although that helps a lot). It was because of his age, trust me. The Greek thing goes only as far as my Armo-only rule, which was the excuse I gave him.

[nunechka]

i dont know, thats why i posted the study done at uc santa barbara

its probably related to the time the brain develops certain chemicals and sends out certain hormones to the body... so men have it earlier, and women have it later (naturally)...

there have been many studies done explaining why in most cultures, it is much mroe accetable for men to be older then women... all of them reach to one conclusion: in order to keep male dominance over women, there has always been a need to keep the women younger then the men older in order to have psychlological authority and control... many times men have been the friends of the father of the girl, that is normal in armenian culture too... but it AINT NORMAL WITH ME! So if the girl looks up to the man like an older authoritative figure, there is less of a chance she will question him... anywho, i say you must get with someone at your psychological level, in a similar life setting, etc... the better you relate the better your relationship wll be...

[CatWoman]

Ok here's my two cents:

We should be with whoever we fall in love with, who cares if it will raise an eyebrow. We only live once, why not live it happy? So even though I'm SURE I won't fall for anyone that much older, if I do, I'm not going to care what people say. The only thing that will concern me would be the future, like 10 years from now when I'm in my 30's and he's an old 50 year old (on viagra).... LOL. So I'll probably marry the person and divorce them when they get too old to handle! HAHAHA (jk, I only meant the first part of my post.... I think.... )

[SagGal]

*There might be a thread on this topic already, but I havent found it.*

Age Difference Thread

This fall, I dated a 23yo (Im 19)...

A four year difference is not a big deal. Well, to me it isn't, but I'm sure for some it is.




It all matters by the interests of the two people. However, I don't think that I would be able to date a man who's younger than me. Older, sure, but younger, probably not. Don't ask why, just my opinion.

[angelik22]

age doesnt matter- i know 20 something year olds- 25-29 who are so immature- both men and women- and i know 17 year olds who are mroe mature - hoenstly- age doesnt matter- but i wouldnt feel comfortable dating someon yungr than i- i like having someone a bit older....