What about divorced people?

[TomServo]

Re: What about divorced people?

It seems like your father is still an arsehole.

[jgk3]

Re: What about divorced people?

lol, yeah. He's tolerable now though. I can still laugh with him.

[Anonymouse]

Re: What about divorced people?

Divorce is simply a symptom of the ephemeral nature of modern culture where the chimera and deception of 'happiness' is used as a measuring stick for marriages.

Either way, the lawyers profit!

[TomServo]

Re: What about divorced people?

*Cue last scene of Mrs. Doubtfire*

[Anahita]

Re: What about divorced people?

I don’t understand why more people can’t get divorced and remain friends (even if only for the sake of children.)

Lawyers get lots of money from divorces partly because the couple drags lawyers into their 'unresolved' fighting. (My theory was that money would be better given to our kid--let us find a way to make it that way.) Part of the reason divorce is so expensive (and lucrative for lawyers) is because each party will often spend many hours paying a lawyer (at hundreds of dollars/hr) to:

1. Listen to every detail of how they were wronged or what is wrong with the other spouse—usually the longer the marriage, the more details. The lawyer is paid to be on their side—but a marriage therapist likely wouldn’t take sides on insignificant issues.

2. Make the lawyer fight for insignificant things (household items, etc) because of pride or vengeance.

My ex husband and I are amicable. We’ve even gone out as friends since the divorce. The major differences are that we go home to different houses, don’t have sex, and he sometimes still tries to pick fights. I’ve refused to participate in attempts to provoke arguments with me (that eliminates most arguments). I also think that my divorce was simpler than many because we didn’t use lawyers (other than for drafting the documents to be filed.) I have been in a couple of very long (years) relationships before I got married. When my ex boyfriends and I split, we did something similar—and we are still good friends. It seems to me that if more people could split in a civil way, things would be better (especially when kids are involved.)

[jgk3]

Re: What about divorced people?

wow... that's a good post. I'm gonna remember that.

[Anahita]

Re: What about divorced people?

wow... that's a good post. I'm gonna remember that.

Remember the part about a marriage counselor—a much better idea than hiring lawyers for a bitter divorce for most people. I wouldn’t have gotten a divorce for just regular marital problems. Everyone who is married will have those.

[jgk3]

Re: What about divorced people?

Well, my father was never mature enough to be a husband, I don't think any marriage counselor could've changed that, but he did lash out in court and he'd tell my mother, "I'd rather pay the lawyer 500$ just so you don't get 50$ from me!"

Wow, eh?