What about divorced people?

[TomServo]

Re: What about divorced people?

emmmmmmm .. yah I somehow doubt that.

[Anahita]

Re: What about divorced people?

Divorced people are not that different than people who live together for years, and break up. Except, divorced people tried, from the start to have a bond, at little more. Why fault that?

[LadySilver]

Re: What about divorced people?

I hate being a divorce child......

[Anahita]

Re: What about divorced people?

Do your parents get along?

[LadySilver]

Re: What about divorced people?

Not at all, I don't even know where my dad is.

[Anahita]

Re: What about divorced people?

When I first got divorced, my ex went through some crazy the kid is 'better off never seeing me.' I had to really bite my tongue and lots more worse, for me (like act 'submissive' which I cannot stand (!), but I did for my kid's sake... or he may never have switched directions. He didn't even visit our child, at first, for a few months after divorce.) My guess is lots of dads are like that and lots of moms are thinking ?? should I do. I don't know your situation, but who knows what went through your dad's head...

[LadySilver]

Re: What about divorced people?

I doubt my dad ever said that I was better off never seeing him. From what I know he left willingly.

[ddd]

Re: What about divorced people?

I greatly admire some divorced parents raising their kids. Especially one particular lady who left an arranged marraige gone wrong and immigrated to America, hoping to offer a better life for herself and her child. All this with no knowledge of the language, money, or support from family. She was in her late teens/early 20s when she moved. (True story)

[lucedelaluna]

Re: What about divorced people?

I think that divorce is taken too lightly in modern times. Especially when there are kids, every effort should be taken to maintain the marriage. However if there are exceptions, such as abuse, then divorce is the best choice.

No one should have to be with someone "unhappily." And true marriage, not just being together due to unwillingness to divorce, can only occur if both participants are happy to be with one another. In other words, if this can not be mended then ending the marriage is best!

When there are kids involved this issue only becomes more convoluted! I have many friends with divorced parents; most of them resent their parents. The ones that do not have parents that divorced due to abuse and infidelity. This proves to me that most reasons for divorce are not sufficient and can be worked out, especially when children are involved.

[jgk3]

Re: What about divorced people?

A week or two ago, my father's car broke down in front of my mom's house, and needed to use her phone... Although they hate eachother and still go to court over money issues, at least this once, they were in the same room with their three kids around them, and weren't fighting. It is rare that I see such a scene, but it's a glimpse of how things were before the divorce. The next day when I talked about it with my ex-gf, I couldn't help but shed my tears. I had been convinced that I could not cry anymore for all this time, but I was proven wrong. All this time, I thought I was perfectly cool with the idea of how they were divorced, but that day, I realized that a piece of me must've died along with it.

My father was never fit for a family, he'd only buy luxuries for himself. Sports memberships, language courses.... He wouldn't even give my mom money to buy us food, he'd point to the ashtray full of change and say, take what's there. He did spend time with his kids though, but he never showed affection towards my mother. After the divorce he told me, "I don't know why I married her, I was going through a depression because my ex-fiance's father broke things up between us, and my family tried to fix me up with your mother. Eventually we got married."

Well, that's pretty dumb. I don't even think he ever loved her, but my overly emotional mother, who gave up all her chances of going to med school, blindly married him. They've fought so much, so viciously ever since... My father would make the most disgusting insults to her, some of which I don't want to say. He'd threaten her, threaten us in this house he payed for(which was his excuse for supporting the family, bs, it only supported himself).

That's why I was happy for the divorce, but still... Things didn't calm down, cuz my mom wanted to get back at him in court. She got half the house, half this, half that... It culminated into another vicious battle... Geez, what a xxxxin waste.