Forgiveness and family

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by anileve

Anon you have agreed with my post, yet you didn't answer my question, which path would you chose?

What sort of answer do you want? I've already answered it. Read carefully. I've also said it depends on the circumstance. If I were in Emil's situation I probably would feel the same pain, and from that pain hatred and anger would be prevlanet towards my father/mother, therefore I probably would not forgive them. But what it is that you seek specifically, my whole view on what parents should be like?

[patlajan]

Originally posted by anileve Why yes badrjan... I am glad you asked, I do want to tell you something. Stay off large quantities of Harisa, for it apparently impairs your ability to write anything more than one liners.

Seems like someone is in denial.

[Anonymouse]

By the way in my last post to this one, in this thread, you can tell at some part of the sentence, that I was either really high or drunk.

[Anonymouse]

As for answering anileve, I don't know what answer you want.

Maybe I am anxiously awaiting you're whole "view" on this topic. Care to share?

[whitelotus]

The Emotional/mental damage they do to you is more hurtful then any beating anyone can give you.


that its what eventually makes us suffer, the emotional/mental pain.

[Anonymouse]

Originally posted by whitelotus The Emotional/mental damage they do to you is more hurtful then any beating anyone can give you.


that its what eventually makes us suffer, the emotional/mental pain.

Since anileve isn't here to say this, I'll say it for her, will you answer the question or not?

[whitelotus]

So should we really forgive our parents simply because they are our blood? Or should we free ourselves from the burden of self imposed morality and judge our parents like regular people? If they are comfortable with hurting their children, we should be just as comfortable of throwing them out of our minds and our lives.

if another human feels that its okay to beat another one, or scar someone mentally, then the other person has every right to do the same to them, or not forgive them.

if its a petty thing, sure it can be forgivin because we are all humans and we make mistakes.

but if its something big like beating, molesting, raping, abusing, then that is not okay.

by forgiving them , we are saying its okay, and its okay for them to do it again.

but then again....you can forgive , but you wont ever forget....

your parents dont respect you nor love you if they beat you, molest you, and harass you. that means you dont need to love them back nor respect them, because they didnt respect nor love you in the first place when they did that to you

[loseyourname]

There is a process known as imprinting by which infants grow irreversibly attached to whoever happens to care for them in the first months of their life. From this point forward, a child's parents are the foremost influence on him both behaviorally and emotionally. However, I think it is important for us to remember that although they may be larger than life to us, our parents are still only human beings, no different than us or anyone else we know.

I find myself being very harsh in my criticisms of my parents, far harsher than I would be with anyone else, and of course, they are far harsher with me than they are with others. I've always felt at a bit of a disadvantage because I was born with a very high IQ and nothing brings me more joy than learning, yet the rest of my family is more into pop culture and social activities. In fact, I would go so far as to say my father and at least one of my sisters are fairly anti-intellectual. Neither of my parents has ever done anything particularly damaging to me, although my sister has at times gone through violent outbursts directed at me. Luckily, she has very bad aim and isn't all that strong. Still, I've always forgiven any ill done to me by them.

My standards for forgiveness are not really any different than they are for anyone else. Personally, I think it is important to see things from another person's perspective and to understand what the intent and motivation behind their actions are. I think it is very rare that a parent intends to do harm to their child. Most parents that do harm are simply incompetent fools that shouldn't be bearing children. While they certainly deserve great reprimand and punishment, I don't think it's ever healthy to hold a grudge. Human beings require catharsis, and it only can only come through either forgiveness or revenge. I find veangefulness to be morally reprehensible, so I choose the path of forgiveness. But again, this principle is applied to all people.

On a less academic basis, I think most people are going to be harder on their parents than they would be on another person, and forgiveness will be less forthcoming. Most parents will forgive their children, but children have a very difficult time forgiving their parents. That is simply because the nature of the relationship dictates that a parent's actions will be far more injurious than the actions of any other person, including children and other loved ones.

[Anonymouse]

Indeed loser! Like you said perhaps the parents themselves suffered from abuse and had their own problems as children, which then was transmitted onto their children. You know it begins somewhere, and it's like a chain.

[whitelotus]

ditto on that, its passed down from abuser to abusie, and so forth, and it continues , and people are getting phucked because of it all.