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Toilet Etiquette

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  • #31
    Originally posted by loseyourname Indeed I am. Rather prematurely, might I add.
    Indeed. This year it should be good.

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    • #32
      In order to fully understand the butt wiping ritual, one must first choose a wiping medium, one that is special and dear to the wiper. This has been the question of the ages for man. If you do not have the downy soft, cotton tissue roll hanging victoriously by the commode fear not for there are alternatives.

      You can try your luck with paper towels. If you don't have toilet paper be sure to always buy Bounty paper towels or Brawny. They are the softest I think. If you are not comfortable with paper towels, you can always use your hand, or the newspaper, or the neighbors' mail ( not yours ), or the phone book! O Thick phone book full of paper pages, how do we love thee, for thou art bountiful and free! When you get the letter W or X it's time to call the phone company and order again or simply steal it from a neighbor or the 7-eleven.

      Then the difficult part is to find your ass. For some it comes naturally, others must sort of rely on trial and error to locate their ass. And if you still can't find your ass you'll need a mirror and a flashlight. After locating it, wipe wipe wipe away. Remember there is no wiping without finding.

      Now that your ass is clean, you might want to show it off to your neighbors, hell you might even wanna take a picture of it and post it on the internet, or this thread.
      Achkerov kute.

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      • #33
        i just use good splash of water to clean my little, 25% russian butt ,simple as that...and i never use public restrooms ewwww ,never everrrrrrrrrrr...i don't even use my best friends bathroom...the first and the last time when i used public restroom,was in my way from Moscow to Australia...geee...in April 11Th I am going back for 3 months...and restroom issue bothers me a lot.....any suggestions???
        I'm a monstrous mass of vile, foul & corrupted matter.

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        • #34
          Yuck.

          That said, I might add... You're wrong Anon, the best feature in this whole toilet business is the plastic toilet seat covers in the bathrooms at Alladin hotel and casino (in the casino section)-- in Las Vegas. They're great. You press a button and a plastic sheet automatically covers the toilet. Then when you're done, press again. Voila. No accidentally sitting when the stupid tissue rips and leave you bare @$$ed on the toilet seat. No messing around trying to get the tissue out of the box without tearing every one. Basically, no one's butt ever touches the actual toilet seat. Good stuff.

          That said, I might add... Dont sit anyway.
          The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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          • #35
            Gross topic, but things need to be done to get this practice out to the public damnit. If we all do it properly, I don't think we'll have water dripping from the ceiling and all over the ground..around the sink..WTF> Don't you wonder what these people do in there? AAANYWAY! I hate public restrooms...they scare me...I ALWAYS take one of my friends in with me. One time my thighs were so soar from working out that I had to have my (guy) friend hold my hands up, so I wouldn't fall on the toilet seat...LMAO!! Good times...good times.. Needless to say, every time I wanna go to the bathroom, he's right there to offer a lending hand..>LOL Sweet guy no? I don't care if there are sanitary toilet seat covers, my ass shall NEVER touch that seat...EVAR!


            Anon jan..thanx for this thread..really enlightening

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            • #36
              Wait...you have a guy friend who holds you up while you use the bathroom? I can't even fathom doing such a thing for any of the girls I know. I wish I had never read this. The mental image of doing that is horrific.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Hogg Wait...you have a guy friend who holds you up while you use the bathroom? I can't even fathom doing such a thing for any of the girls I know. I wish I had never read this. The mental image of doing that is horrific.
                Hey my legs were soar. He didn't want me to sit on the toilet. What's the big deal? He's one of my best friends!! I don't see anything wrong with it Mr. Hogg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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                • #38
                  im a pro at the crouching thing and not getting near the toilet lol

                  i think most chicks are anyway.
                  words are meaningless and forgettable...
                  words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm.

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                  • #39
                    That is a little weird... I've had people hold my hair back while i'm throwing up... my b/fs been in the bathroom while i've gone potty before... but never held me up.
                    [COLOR=#4b0082][B][SIZE=4][FONT=trebuchet ms]“If you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”
                    -Henry Ford[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

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