Toilet Etiquette

[Darorinag]

aaaaand yet another topic diverted from its main theme by our dear Yeva.

[Anonymouse]

I usually use several paper toilet seat covers to thus form a nice layer of cover separating my ass from the porcelain, and whatever revealing spots or gaps that the paper toilet cover misses, I use the toilet paper to cover those areas; it's akin to a bird building a nest, but instead of laying eggs, humans lay turds.

But all this pales in comparison to the ass whiping ritual.

[Anonymouse]

Can one of the mods fix the spelling in the title and replace the "g" with a "q"?

[clubbin714]

Excellent thread Anonymouse. How do you prevent the ever annoying and messy “splash back” that occurs after you drop a hefty log?

[Anonymouse]

That can be avoided by having firm legs that will be able to make you crouch and hold you as you drop the bombs but not totally sit down on the toilet, thus leaving more space between yourself and the water.

It is also prudent if you are not an amateur and quite skilled in toilet etiquette, that as you are crouching and the bomb drops, that you immediately further yourself from the toilet and stand straight from the crouching position, that way avoiding the water splashing on you.

Practice makes perfect.

[clubbin714]

Wiping is a complicated task.

I use to just fold the paper neatly, and wipe, fold, wipe again. Then I would normally inspect the section used for the second wipe, and if there's any evidence, repeat the operation. Sometimes a little spec will be tucked up inside, beyond the reach of a good wipe, only to come popping out after I've stood up and walked off. That would normally make for good skid-marks.

Now I use a much more sophisticated technique.

[Anonymouse]

People just miss the importance of proper ass wiping. "This is gross" they say or "I know how to do it". But hold on! Wiping is an ancient discipline, lost in this the age of technology, where computers and machines feed our every whim. By mastering the proper art of wiping you will never know skid marks, poop stains, klingons, and all manner of unpleasant things again.

By the way, thanks to the mod who fixed the title.

[anileve]

I am sorry but this is one of the most gross threads Eva! Anon..... I shall not return here, there is a foul smell in this area.

[Hogg]

If I really have to do the deed in a public restroom, I lay down 2 seat covers.

[Wise]

Originally posted by Anonymouse People just miss the importance of proper ass wiping. "This is gross" they say or "I know how to do it". But hold on! Wiping is an ancient discipline, lost in this the age of technology, where computers and machines feed our every whim. By mastering the proper art of wiping you will never know skid marks, poop stains, klingons, and all manner of unpleasant things again.

By the way, thanks to the mod who fixed the title.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem at all but the problem is the smell of this thread Damn ANON! IT stinks like xxxx!