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A day in the life of Joe Republican

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  • A day in the life of Joe Republican

    A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

    Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare his
    morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
    liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first
    swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are
    safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their
    safety and that they work as advertised.


    All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
    plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
    medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning
    breakfast, bacon and eggs.

    Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for
    laws to regulate the meat packing industry. In the morning shower, Joe
    reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each
    ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby
    liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and
    how much it contained.

    Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes
    is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to
    stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station
    for his government- subsidized ride to work.

    It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees
    because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
    transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

    Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
    benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
    liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

    Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want
    his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes
    unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check
    because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because
    of his temporary misfortune.

    Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
    bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
    godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers
    who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

    Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
    federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and
    the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more
    money over his lifetime.

    Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
    farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive.

    His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating
    liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home.
    His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers'
    Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The
    house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
    his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

    He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
    Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
    cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
    wouldn't have to.

    Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
    show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
    conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans
    have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout
    his day.

    Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
    lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take
    care of themselves, just like I have."

    Yeah. Crazy evil liberals!
    The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • #2
    Crazy ideologues period! Damn libs and cons!
    Achkerov kute.

    Comment


    • #3
      *applauds* Excellent story.
      [COLOR=#4b0082][B][SIZE=4][FONT=trebuchet ms]“If you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”
      -Henry Ford[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

      Comment


      • #4
        good one, bad bad bad liberals!

        Comment


        • #5
          Liberals are always supportive of socialistic big government. Apparently this thread is a haven for them. Apparently, they also believe that liberals are "good" and conservatives are "bad", and liberals bring "prosperity", while markets don't. At the flip side, the conservatives believe this same "us vs them" mentality. How truly tragic of the human mind to be victims of mass mindedness as Carl Jung put it.
          Achkerov kute.

          Comment


          • #6
            Not exactly true.. sorry.. But hey it was funny actually..
            How do you hurt a masochist?
            -By leaving him alone.Forever.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Anonymouse
              Liberals are always supportive of socialistic big government. Apparently this thread is a haven for them. Apparently, they also believe that liberals are "good" and conservatives are "bad", and liberals bring "prosperity", while markets don't. At the flip side, the conservatives believe this same "us vs them" mentality. How truly tragic of the human mind to be victims of mass mindedness as Carl Jung put it.
              No one said one side is good and the other side is bad, what's wrong with being in the happy middle?
              The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ckBejug
                No one said one side is good and the other side is bad, what's wrong with being in the happy middle?
                You honestly think you'll get off on a technicality like that? You and Siggie and most posters on this board continually criticize everything Republican and never have a bad thing to say for anything liberal or democrat. Perhaps I'm wrong if you go back far enough, but this has certainly been the case ever since the election didn't turn out the way you all hoped.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by loseyourname
                  You honestly think you'll get off on a technicality like that? You and Siggie and most posters on this board continually criticize everything Republican and never have a bad thing to say for anything liberal or democrat. Perhaps I'm wrong if you go back far enough, but this has certainly been the case ever since the election didn't turn out the way you all hoped.
                  I've never said I hate republicans or that everything they stand for is wrong. I hate Bush and think everything HE stands for is wrong.
                  The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    And "Joe Republican?" You're honestly trying to tell me you haven't been mocking him for the last two weeks? It's people like you in part that convinced me to vote Republican, and attitudes like yours are only going to throw this nation further to the right. People who don't lean to the left on every issue are getting sick of those who do treating the rest of us as ignorant, mindless dolts.

                    Comment

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