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Growing apart from 'friends'

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  • #41
    wow! how sad loser... you "don't value people?" not only is it a pretty sad thing to express, but it's even more sad to think and believe it! i understand that there are people out there who are not worth much, but to make such a general statement? what happened dude? did you have overly critical unaffectionate parents? i'm not 'judging' just find it super strange! about as strange as michael jackson's obsession with being white and a woman!

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    • #42
      loseyourname - I am not a judgemental person by nature - I just offer my observations and perspective. If you are truly happy and fulfilled - then who am I to say you have it wrong? (I agree) - but - knowing (and feeling) what I do know (and feel) - what a connection/connections (strong/meaningfulll....etc) with other people mean to me/do for me (and knowing how I feel when I positively affect and do things for others - etc) - I can only say that if you cannot appreciate and value such - if it stirs nothing in you - then yes I think you have a major blindspot and/or deficiency in your nature - in your very humanity. I know that sounds harsh - and again - this is just from my perspective and perhaps - whatever it is you get off on that I don't know - is doing it for you...what can i say...I hope that indeed your doing alright (and not unduely hurting others....)

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      • #43
        Originally posted by loseyourname
        Name me any one person and I'll name you another that is essentially the same person.
        I so very much disagree

        My list would be pages long and you would have no counters.

        I have met and know so many people who just totally blow me away - I can't even begin to recount.

        Again - that you can see no intrinsic value - no uniquness - in other human beings - leads me to see you as overly self-centered and self-absorbed - but you know what - your not so special or unique after all are you? You do agree - right? So why? Why are you so special and other are not?

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        • #44
          I don't think he was saying that he is special while others are not. Don't be so quick to call people self-centered. This could just be his view of humanity in general.

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          • #45
            Originally posted by ArmoBarbi
            I don't think he was saying that he is special while others are not. Don't be so quick to call people self-centered. This could just be his view of humanity in general.
            What's more self centered than having "a view of humanity in general"? Like the sunscreen song guy says:
            "Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young"

            So far I've found that to be true.

            There are 6 billion people in this world and one is as good as another.
            That's just laugh out loud hilarious. There are 6 billion people in this world and most of then are useless. People who say what they mean, do what they say, and do right by others are in an exclusive club.

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            • #46
              Originally posted by patlajan
              There are 6 billion people in this world and most of then are useless. People who say what they mean, do what they say, and do right by others are in an exclusive club.
              I have to agree with this.
              [COLOR=#4b0082][B][SIZE=4][FONT=trebuchet ms]“If you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”
              -Henry Ford[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

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              • #47
                Grew apart from all of my friends. I am only still friends with one of my friends of about 7-8 years...and he's barely ever around to hangout with anyway. Either hes at work or with gf. Our lives change and we become extremely busy as we get out of schoo.

                Deal with it, it's life. No one stays the same and always plays Quake 2 like I thought I would...

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                • #48
                  Originally posted by Sev21
                  Grew apart from all of my friends. I am only still friends with one of my friends of about 7-8 years...and he's barely ever around to hangout with anyway. Either hes at work or with gf. Our lives change and we become extremely busy as we get out of schoo.

                  Deal with it, it's life. No one stays the same and always plays Quake 2 like I thought I would...

                  My friends and I have gone through MAJOR changes over the years, and we've managed to stay close. They have coupled up, gotten engaged, possibly 2 weddings next year ( ) and nothing has changed. Granted, we're not joined at the hip like we used to be, cause yea, that's life...but we are in constant contact (via phone, email, in person) at all times. I guess every situation is different. I just don't want your bad experience to discourage anyone else to stay close to their friends, if they are TRUE friends....

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                  • #49
                    What/How are true friends?

                    Comment

                    • #50
                      Originally posted by winoman
                      I so very much disagree

                      My list would be pages long and you would have no counters.
                      How can you possibly know that? You haven't met, much less gotten to know, every single person on the face of this planet. Maybe it's just a product of my experience, but I have yet to meet a single person that wasn't replaceable by another person just as good.

                      I have met and know so many people who just totally blow me away - I can't even begin to recount.
                      That isn't evidence that there are a good number of people out there capable of blowing your mind away and giving up one for another isn't going to make any substantive difference?

                      Again - that you can see no intrinsic value - no uniquness - in other human beings - leads me to see you as overly self-centered and self-absorbed - but you know what - your not so special or unique after all are you?
                      Why not examine this idea of intrinsic value in individuals? I do view some people more fondly than others and invariably these are the people that I have shared special experiences with that I will likely never duplicate, largely because circumstances are difficult to duplicate and I am not really the same person I was at those times. That indicates an extrinsic value that individuals have, a value that they acquire circumstantially and relationally. So yes, I have never seen any example of an individual that had intrinsic value above all other individuals. Have you?

                      You do agree - right? So why? Why are you so special and other are not?
                      When did I ever say that I am special? This is exactly the reason that I don't concern myself with hurting people by growing apart and ceasing a friendship with them. They don't need me and they can easily find another friend just as good and probably better than me.

                      I can only say that if you cannot appreciate and value such - if it stirs nothing in you - then yes I think you have a major blindspot and/or deficiency in your nature - in your very humanity.
                      And? You may very well be right, given that one of the distinguishing characteristics of humans is their ability to form longstanding social bonds. If that means you are more human than me, go throw yourself a party. As you point out, I'm just as happy as you, just as fulfilled as you, and if the things that I value make me less human while being more Adam, then so be it. I also don't see any intrinsic value in being human.

                      Originally posted by patlajan
                      That's just laugh out loud hilarious. There are 6 billion people in this world and most of then are useless. People who say what they mean, do what they say, and do right by others are in an exclusive club.
                      There are nonetheless multiple instances of people who say what they mean, do what they say, and do right by others. And to be honest, having these characteristics doesn't make a person any more valuable to me. The supply may be relatively scarce, but the demand is not high.

                      What's more self centered than having "a view of humanity in general"?
                      I would say that not viewing myself as any better or worse than the next guy, regardless of which particular virtuous characteristics I might possess, hardly makes me self-centered. Even if it does, what else do you suppose that a human self should be centered on?

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