Announcement

Collapse

Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!)

1] What you CAN NOT post.

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this forum to post any material which is:
- abusive
- vulgar
- hateful
- harassing
- personal attacks
- obscene

You also may not:
- post images that are too large (max is 500*500px)
- post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or cited properly.
- post in UPPER CASE, which is considered yelling
- post messages which insult the Armenians, Armenian culture, traditions, etc
- post racist or other intentionally insensitive material that insults or attacks another culture (including Turks)

The Ankap thread is excluded from the strict rules because that place is more relaxed and you can vent and engage in light insults and humor. Notice it's not a blank ticket, but just a place to vent. If you go into the Ankap thread, you enter at your own risk of being clowned on.
What you PROBABLY SHOULD NOT post...
Do not post information that you will regret putting out in public. This site comes up on Google, is cached, and all of that, so be aware of that as you post. Do not ask the staff to go through and delete things that you regret making available on the web for all to see because we will not do it. Think before you post!


2] Use descriptive subject lines & research your post. This means use the SEARCH.

This reduces the chances of double-posting and it also makes it easier for people to see what they do/don't want to read. Using the search function will identify existing threads on the topic so we do not have multiple threads on the same topic.

3] Keep the focus.

Each forum has a focus on a certain topic. Questions outside the scope of a certain forum will either be moved to the appropriate forum, closed, or simply be deleted. Please post your topic in the most appropriate forum. Users that keep doing this will be warned, then banned.

4] Behave as you would in a public location.

This forum is no different than a public place. Behave yourself and act like a decent human being (i.e. be respectful). If you're unable to do so, you're not welcome here and will be made to leave.

5] Respect the authority of moderators/admins.

Public discussions of moderator/admin actions are not allowed on the forum. It is also prohibited to protest moderator actions in titles, avatars, and signatures. If you don't like something that a moderator did, PM or email the moderator and try your best to resolve the problem or difference in private.

6] Promotion of sites or products is not permitted.

Advertisements are not allowed in this venue. No blatant advertising or solicitations of or for business is prohibited.
This includes, but not limited to, personal resumes and links to products or
services with which the poster is affiliated, whether or not a fee is charged
for the product or service. Spamming, in which a user posts the same message repeatedly, is also prohibited.

7] We retain the right to remove any posts and/or Members for any reason, without prior notice.


- PLEASE READ -

Members are welcome to read posts and though we encourage your active participation in the forum, it is not required. If you do participate by posting, however, we expect that on the whole you contribute something to the forum. This means that the bulk of your posts should not be in "fun" threads (e.g. Ankap, Keep & Kill, This or That, etc.). Further, while occasionally it is appropriate to simply voice your agreement or approval, not all of your posts should be of this variety: "LOL Member213!" "I agree."
If it is evident that a member is simply posting for the sake of posting, they will be removed.


8] These Rules & Guidelines may be amended at any time. (last update September 17, 2009)

If you believe an individual is repeatedly breaking the rules, please report to admin/moderator.
See more
See less

I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

    I'm open to all advice, but letting go of my cousin is not such great advice. What does it solve? Why be selfish and let him go?

    Comment


    • #22
      Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

      Originally posted by One-Way
      I'm open to all advice, but letting go of my cousin is not such great advice. What does it solve? Why be selfish and let him go?
      I'd ask Anonymouse what he means by 'let him go.'

      Comment


      • #23
        Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

        It's pretty clear.

        Comment


        • #24
          Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

          Not to me. When someone says 'let go,' I have at least 15 different meanings that I associate with those two words. I'm guessing that you have an idea of what that means. Anon has an idea about he means. Maybe those are the same, maybe not.

          I'm guessing you think he means forget about him and don't worry about him. Maybe he means that, but are you sure?

          [Edit. I can tell you to 'let him go.' If I say that here, to you, I'd mean that you don't have the capacity to take on his problems more than you can. You can offer help. You can love and support him. But, ultimately, you can only do what you can do. If I said that to you, I'd mean you can and seem to be doing all you can do. Don't feel you somehow fail if he doesn't turn around right away. Poorly worded, but I hope the idea comes across.]
          Last edited by Anahita; 04-21-2006, 12:03 AM.

          Comment


          • #25
            Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

            Yes, I am.

            Comment


            • #26
              Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

              Originally posted by One-Way
              Yes, I am.
              And, just so that you know, just your concern alone DOES help him. You telling him that you are concerned (and why) helps even more.

              Comment


              • #27
                Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

                I know, I know.

                Comment


                • #28
                  Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

                  What I meant is sometimes it is best to let people go. To let them find the road themselves and see the way things are by themselves. And if they don't, you find a new friend. Sometimes you can alienate people more by your concern, and although you have good intentions, it is often translated as the tyranny of good intentions. Do not always assume that they see what you see, or feel what you feel.

                  The problem is you keep stating how everything that is happening is "nothing bad", but yet you made a whole thread in which your concern seeps from between the text. You seem more concerned than you admit yourself to be. Furthermore, I sense you are maybe a bit jealous of the attention your "friend" (cousin) is giving to his new buddies and you feel powerless that you cannot influence him (yes, friendship is as much about power relations and influence as anything else). Why should a friendship be based on that to begin with? Why would you want to be a friend with someone who is that easily influenced by people?

                  In the alternative, have you thought that maybe he actually prefers the company of these buddies over you? Maybe he found 'himself' with them that he was lacking with you? I doubt this is the case since I don't think anyone in their right mind would willfully start to speak in the low class half a language called ebonics. Actually, that would be my number one reason why I wouldn't be friends with him and let him go.

                  These are my opinions and advice. Hope this helps.
                  Achkerov kute.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

                    Originally posted by Anonymouse
                    ... I doubt this is the case since I don't think anyone in their right mind would willfully start to speak in the low class half a language called ebonics. Actually, that would be my number one reason why I wouldn't be friends with him and let him go.

                    These are my opinions and advice. Hope this helps.
                    You made some good points there, Anon. Things later slurried into a critique 'low' (blue, snail, insert other word here) class gibberish talk, though. Should I bow to a ‘superior’ version of the English language or to a [insert random word here] superior ‘culture.’ I love the English language because it is such a beautiful mix of all kinds of languages and cultures and histories (and also why it is so difficult to master for non-native speakers.) Sorry, I'm just preachin...

                    "She's my priestess. I'm your priest." Dani California. Chili Peppers
                    Last edited by Anahita; 04-21-2006, 02:06 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      Re: I Need To Help Someone, I Need Your Advice

                      I'm with the Mouse on this one.
                      I think, sure you should sit him down and tell him what you have seen, what you think, your concerns, etc, but if he doesn't see it, there's not really much else you can do. You can't force him to do anything.

                      Sometimes you have to just let go and let people make their own mistakes. When your cousin realizes he messed up and is ready to change, then you can be there to help him. You can't really help those that don't want help.


                      Anahita, potency doesn't affect the addictiveness in the way that you think. Plants with lower content would just be used in greater quantity to get the "high."

                      It's not like cocaine wasn't addictive before people learned how to make crack.

                      Oh and Armen if you want to talk to him about the weed, ask him about how he feels when he's not high now compared to before he smoked. See if he's noticed changes in his ability to enjoy things. Drugs mess with the brain's reward systems and that's what makes it so hard to quit. It raises the threshold for rewards, so it takes waaaay more than it did before. When you use though, it drops it down again while you're high. Problem it's very slow to start going back when you abstain, although it does. It never really gets back to where it was before the drug was ever introduced though. Essentially, it makes changes in your brain and when you stop, there's nothing to go back in and completely reverse those changes. Not to imply that it's hopeless... it's just not that easy. I'm not certain if I'm remembering this correctly or not, but I don't think Marijuana does this to the degree that other drugs do, so it's not as hard. The rest of that stuff is the simplified version of what's currently known in the field though.
                      [COLOR=#4b0082][B][SIZE=4][FONT=trebuchet ms]“If you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”
                      -Henry Ford[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X