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Confused. Please advise...

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  • #1

    Confused. Please advise...

    Salutations to all. I am somewhat new here. Have posted practically nothing but have browsed/ read topics of interest.

    I have a silly dilemma I need clarification on. All responses are greatly appreciated. I think male member's insights would be most helpful.

    I have been working for my current employer for the past year and a half (almost). We are in one of the nice commercial buildings in downtown Glendale. There happen to be lot of young Armenian boys and girls in our building. We see each other in hallways, bathrooms, and the underground parking area and exchange daily greetings and pleasantries. All nice and sweet and so on...

    But (and this is a big Haykakan BUT), there is this one guy who is driving me nuts. He acts so aloof and nonchalant whenever we are in the confines of the elevator. He does not greet me, he is careful not to hold my gaze for too long ad he outright dismisses the fact that I exist and am taking up space on this planet. It is irritating. The irritating part is that he does other things that totally negate his dismissal of me. He goes out of his way to park his car next to mine... his car is too big and too expensive to be parked where I park my smaller car. But every morning he comes a bit earlier just so he can have that exact spot.

    He makes sure to “run” into me no matter how early or how late I take lunch ( I have tested this for months). And he has recently made friends with certain coworkers of mine. So now he has made a point of getting on the elevator with all of us.,greets all of them and TOTALLY ignores me. But there is this tension in the air. It unnerving...

    I cannot have this situation hanging out there in the universe unresolved. I need some kind of resolution. Believe me, I can tell when someone is plain ignoring me as opposed to what this dude is doing. So what should I do?

    Without going into details, I would like to assure you guys that I am not interested in having any kind of relationship with him. I just want him to acknowledge me or just cut out this stupid act.

    Inch eq kartsum? Am I the one who is off my rocker?

    Thoughts please...
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Confused. Please advise...

    Sounds like he has the offensive. This is the proverbial, "act nonchalant and pretend you are not interested in her and it gets her all wild inside and curious" scenario.

    Even if you are not interested in him, you are merely interested in the attention. It's sort of like a chess match between the sexes and he seems to have the upper hand for you to have reacted so.

    If you really want to get under this guy's skin (because I will bet my wallet he finds you attractive or perhaps interested), you should give him a taste of his own medicine. This involves:
    • ignore him completely
    • flirt with other guys in his presence
    • do not look at him
    • always seem busy, and try to make him see you're on the phone or whatever
    • mention to those co-workers friends of yours that you have a date and/or are going on a date and/or a guy asked you out, as this will surely get to him


    Hope this helps.
    Achkerov kute.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Confused. Please advise...

      Originally posted by Em124 View Post
      Inch eq kartsum? Am I the one who is off my rocker?

      Thoughts please...
      Two things you have to consider, first, are you sure he is interested in you? Maybe, it could all be a conincidence. Women are hard to read, but I will tell you, if man likes women, they will approach her, no matter what mountain stands in his way. Therefore, you should make sure he is interested in you before you assume things. You may just be getting mixed signals, certainly, it happens to the best of us.

      Second, assuming he thinks the world of you, why would you want to act pety? You should never act pety, a true romantic, a lover of life, will always treat his or her admirers with some level of respect and charisma. I don't know, maybe this is what is wrong with the world today, people lack a solid education in having class. Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe he really likes you? You know men, they do fall in love with women (And how can you not?) but sometimes they are just inexperienced in approach and execution.

      It is truly a catch 22, women want a Don Juan, however, Don Juan will never truly be faithful. Don Juan is experienced in the dark arts of romance because he is a womenizer. Don Juan's teacher is experience. Conversly, Pip, the shy and timid male, who thinks the world of women and will travel the world for his love, Estella, is rejected because he lacks experience. Essentially, Don Juan, with all his confidence, charisma, and wit can never match the love Pip has for Estella and women wonder why they stay single nowadays? It is in my belief that most women have the "Estella Complex". Women are caught up in finding Don Juan, but fail to realize Don Juan does not exist, men only pretend to be Don Juan, but the reality is that any good man wants a good woman.

      My advice, I don't know, all this cloak and dagger stuff, really, why put yourself through it? All this stress, registering and asking anonymous men for advice, why? It is mind boggling, how the female psychology works. You can avoid it by just introducing yourself to him and see where it goes, worst thing that can happen is you meet a new friend over some nice cup of coffee or some pasta, talk about the stars and past affairs, say your farewells, and move on, why all this nonsense? At least, bare minimum, you can introduce yourself and let him know that you are not interested, so many excuses you can use, but at least you are upfront and honest about your feelings.

      Funny, very funny, women they are truly a enigma, they don't know what they want and wise men have come to conclusion a long time ago. I am certain that if you were to make it overly known that you are not interested, when in fact you are not sure of his interest, you would come off sounding pety and arrogant, just a warning. Don't become a Estella, you will miss out on life and become a bitter person that only sees fractions of a person. I would advise you to round up, but I doubt you will take my advice, chow.
      Last edited by Virgil; 02-17-2008, 10:03 AM.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Confused. Please advise...

        Originally posted by Virgil View Post
        It is in my belief that most women have the "Estella Complex". Women are caught up in finding Don Juan...
        I didn't get exactly what you meant by what you call "Estella complex"?? Could you explain that? Women who think highly of themselves and are most probably materialistic???


        It is mind boggling, how the female psychology works.
        Ahh, women can sometimes be such nightmares, I must admit.
        One may never know what goes on in our mind. But interestingly, women say the same about men's psychology.

        But bare in mind that women's brains function differently, the chemicals within our brain make us act differently, the same chemical 'abonormalities' make us much more vulnurable to certain disorders, such as anxiety, stress, anorexia, depression, etc.. So, you see it's not totally in our hands.


        You can avoid it by just introducing yourself to him and see where it goes,
        Why should she introduce herself to him when she is ignored?? I would have completely ignored him.
        Last edited by Lucin; 02-17-2008, 11:38 AM.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Confused. Please advise...

          Originally posted by Anonymouse View Post
          Sounds like he has the offensive. This is the proverbial, "act nonchalant and pretend you are not interested in her and it gets her all wild inside and curious" scenario.

          Even if you are not interested in him, you are merely interested in the attention. It's sort of like a chess match between the sexes and he seems to have the upper hand for you to have reacted so.

          If you really want to get under this guy's skin (because I will bet my wallet he finds you attractive or perhaps interested), you should give him a taste of his own medicine. This involves:
          • ignore him completely
          • flirt with other guys in his presence
          • do not look at him
          • always seem busy, and try to make him see you're on the phone or whatever
          • mention to those co-workers friends of yours that you have a date and/or are going on a date and/or a guy asked you out, as this will surely get to him


          Hope this helps.
          Yes... this reminds me of times I've gotten a taste of my own medicine!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Confused. Please advise...

            Originally posted by Lucin View Post
            I didn't get exactly what you meant by what you call "Estella complex"?? Could you explain that? Women who think highly of themselves and are most probably materialistic???
            It is not really about "materialism", it is about her inability to be content with what she has.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Confused. Please advise...

              If you two work at the same company he shouldn't be getting sneaky with you at all!

              Maybe he is just shy ... ever think of that? Why do women put all of the burden of introductions on men? We'll hear a chorus of "Because that's a mans job!!" in the following posts. Sooo cliched ... How sorry of women to put that burden on us and then turn around and chastise us for they same things they are also incapable of doing ... i.e. introducing themselves. Especially if you aren't interested in him! Why would you hesitate to say hello? Are you a human being with a mouth and vocal chords just like him? If so then you can start a conversation as easily as he can ... that way you'll break the ice and hopefully negate any hostile atmosphere that you both have been letting develop like a stinky cheese!

              I'm shy and I have a hard time just busting out and talking to a female I haven't met yet. I get really bad if I am interested. Probably the same for this guy.

              For example ... there is a really pretty lady where I work. We work on the same floor and in the same production team although not on the same project. I have introduced myself and befriended practically everyone else except for her. She makes me nervous!! A. If I were on her project she would be my boss (lol) so that makes it harder to say hello because she could get me fired B. I did try to speak with her once but she practically sneered at me so I was like "Nevermind" C. Because we work at the same company on the same floor nothing can ever happen so it's probably for the better we don't talk to each other.

              I think the real problem here is that she is as shy or more so than I am so we both shut down around each other. Like yesterday I got up to get some water and as I round the corner she is entering the floor and headed the same way at the exact same time. I was like "Oh God" and we walked side by side down the hall and never said a word to each other lmao Still even if it were someone I didn't work with it would probably end up the same way. So because "That's a mans job" rings so loud and clear I am destined to be single forever ... or settle with someone due to convenience more than anything else. Chalk it up to being lazy or whatever I just get quiet and shy ... that's who I am. Not every single guy is going to be the outgoing type so don't expect every single guy to introduce themselves to you even if they are interested. Trust me dealing with women is waay worse ... 9 out of 10 women agree!

              One last thing I know most women attribute a man's outgoing personality as a sure sign of a confident and successful man. Nothing could be further from the truth ... although I agree it is a possible indicator there are exceptions to every rule. There are pathetically unsuccessful men who are totally extroverted and there are many, many introverted/shy men who are completely successful. So if you see being shy as a sign of weakness A. what does that say about most women and B. you will consistently pick up on one type of man ... extroverted, smooth talking, seemingly has his xxxxe together (i.e. the biggest grease balls on the planet). Sound familiar lol ?

              So I guess my point here is you can't judge a book on its cover which is true and simple or simply true.
              Last edited by Lamb Boy; 02-22-2008, 01:10 AM.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Confused. Please advise...

                Originally posted by Lamb Boy View Post
                Maybe he is just shy ... ever think of that? Why do women put all of the burden of introductions on men? We'll hear a chorus of "Because that's a mans job!!" in the following posts. Sooo cliched ... How sorry of women to put that burden on us and then turn around and chastise us for they same things they are also incapable of doing ... i.e. introducing themselves. Especially if you aren't interested in him! Why would you hesitate to say hello? Are you a human being with a mouth and vocal chords just like him? If so then you can start a conversation as easily as he can ... that way you'll break the ice and hopefully negate any hostile atmosphere that you both have been letting develop like a stinky cheese!
                Good point, I agree with you.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Confused. Please advise...

                  Originally posted by Em124 View Post
                  Salutations to all. I am somewhat new here. Have posted practically nothing but have browsed/ read topics of interest.

                  I have a silly dilemma I need clarification on. All responses are greatly appreciated. I think male member's insights would be most helpful.

                  I have been working for my current employer for the past year and a half (almost). We are in one of the nice commercial buildings in downtown Glendale. There happen to be lot of young Armenian boys and girls in our building. We see each other in hallways, bathrooms, and the underground parking area and exchange daily greetings and pleasantries. All nice and sweet and so on...

                  But (and this is a big Haykakan BUT), there is this one guy who is driving me nuts. He acts so aloof and nonchalant whenever we are in the confines of the elevator. He does not greet me, he is careful not to hold my gaze for too long ad he outright dismisses the fact that I exist and am taking up space on this planet. It is irritating. The irritating part is that he does other things that totally negate his dismissal of me. He goes out of his way to park his car next to mine... his car is too big and too expensive to be parked where I park my smaller car. But every morning he comes a bit earlier just so he can have that exact spot.

                  He makes sure to “run” into me no matter how early or how late I take lunch ( I have tested this for months). And he has recently made friends with certain coworkers of mine. So now he has made a point of getting on the elevator with all of us.,greets all of them and TOTALLY ignores me. But there is this tension in the air. It unnerving...

                  I cannot have this situation hanging out there in the universe unresolved. I need some kind of resolution. Believe me, I can tell when someone is plain ignoring me as opposed to what this dude is doing. So what should I do?

                  Without going into details, I would like to assure you guys that I am not interested in having any kind of relationship with him. I just want him to acknowledge me or just cut out this stupid act.

                  Inch eq kartsum? Am I the one who is off my rocker?

                  Thoughts please...
                  My advice to you is to talk to him & see what's going on. It seems like he is very intrested in you & is shy to tell you how he feels, so just go up to him & lay it all out & tell him how you feel when he does certain stuff to irritate you. Good Luck!
                  Positive vibes, positive taught

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Confused. Please advise...

                    yes, I think pepsiaddict is right, you should talk to him and like the french
                    say 'prendre le taureau par les cornes' meaning facing the problem. and pls
                    be cool

                    Comment

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