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Your Sex Life

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  • #61
    Re: Your Sex Life

    Originally posted by sSsflamesSs I'll start.

    I don't have one.

    And yes, it's killing me.

    And yes, it's killing me...wait I already said that.

    I'm beginning to think that this "waiting till marriage" (or engagement ) bit is going to do more damage than not.

    With the influx of sexually active members, I thought that I should create a separate thread for users to brag in.
    I feel your pain

    *sigh*

    Comment


    • #62
      Originally posted by Sev21 Sex life? That dont' exist until you're friggin 30 years old man, with us Armenians all scarying our kids thinking that sex is BAD BAD BAD, and BAD FOREVER, NOTHING YOU CAN DO!

      I don't have one, and doubt my girl will give it up for the next 5 years, haha, sad.

      Wow, ur hands MUST be aching..Anyway..This topic is interesting. I never knew that so many people didn't have a sex life...U don't have to have intercourse in order to get pleasure (both way). If the guy and u can get together and think of naughty, clever little ways u can please eachother without sex, then DO IT. Ur gonna be psychologically scarred if u don't get rid of all that sexual tension.

      Hey, and if all else fails, u can just have the guy pee all over ur body!


      Vi lette

      Comment


      • #63
        Had a sex life, and my New Years resolution is to have it again.
        Achkerov kute.

        Comment


        • #64
          Amen to that Mouse. I had a long-distance girlfriend for too long.

          Comment


          • #65
            Alright kids, I've found the solution to all these whiny relationship/sex/love/like/whatever problems we seem to have. Here it is. I tell you, it was a stroke of genius. Read on...

            Write impassioned letters confessing your blind, paralyzing love for people, just to put the feelers out there! This dating stuff just takes to much time, doesn't it? It's just like this awkward dance to a crap song that lasts about 6 to 8 months (eating dinner, going to movies, having sex, calling each other for no reason, wondering whether you love the idiot and wondering whether the idiot is on the same page then wondering whether you should say so so you can finally move in together so no one has to run back to his or her apartment at six am just to change into a clean pair of pants before work). Then guess what? The song ends and the answer is no and you just wasted 6 to 8 months acting like a retard (that's how people act when they try to be in love with each other in the interest of getting more sleep somewhere down the line).

            So let's say you think Jack (or Jill or Antranik or Vartanoush) in HR could be into falling in love with you and you could maybe fall in love with him if you could get past his limp. Are you gonna start dating and maybe find out all the way after Christmas if he'd be down? Forget it. Write him a letter and tell him you've been insane with lack of sleep and appetite because you have yet to devote every ounce of your being to making his stay on this earth a pleasurable one. Or just pick some flowery way to say, "I will love you forever. You down?"

            If he's down, tell him that's awesome but you didn't really mean all that stuff you said in the letter. "I mean, I like you and I don't even care all that much that you're kind of crippled." But you got like six more letters out there and eight more to write but he's the first to respond so he's got dibs on a shot at you finding out if you'd be into returning his eternal love.

            Sure, this makes the relationship kind of one-sided, but if you're the one writing the letter, your side's gonna win. So who's complaining? There's just gotta be a way to keep boys and girls from getting all naked and sticky for half a year before they find out they never wanna see each other again. I think this is it.

            Use mail merge in Word. It lets you put all the people you think could be into falling in love with you in a database and then you can plug their names and addresses into a mass declaration of undying "I think you're tops" and you can even make mailing labels with it too.

            Yeah. Do that.


































            For all you nuts out there who will actually tell me I am brilliant and/or crazy for my idea. It is a joke. Ok? Carry on. After some of the replies I've read to random posts around here, I felt the need for this disclaimer.
            The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

            Comment


            • #66
              **Note**
              Before reading this post, please be notified that viewer discretion is advised!!!!






              OooOoh this is so funny.. Do u people know that u are already programmed to have sex? Do u know that u don't have to LEARN anything...u have to let it all come (cum) naturally. Kama Sutra and Tao (i have no idea what that is) is just to enhance WHAT U ALREADY KNOW. People... it's like chewing..No one taught u(hopefully) how to chew food but, it's just a natural instinct that we, as humans, have..Don't worry about being good or bad. The first time will be BAD for both the guy and the girl..lol OH SO FUNNY...But, after that, once u and ur lover have found the right "fit and angle", then u can be off to MERRY SEX LAND! Where all the flowers sing porn songs, and where the grass vibrates...Where the wizard is a 6'4 200 lb tan, hard bodied , has a face to lick, kinda man who has enough 8 inch penises (peni?) for every woman in the world. Where the trees sprout little penisesses (lol) for us to harvest and care for..where the water is made of not water but, oh yes....u know what i'm talking about................wet juicy...........
              champagne.....flowing into an endless garden of huge tubs, filled with rose petals and beautiful women, being pleased by beautiful men...and the orgasms continue, forever, and ever, and ever..........


              AHHHHHHHHHHHH, now that I have managed to totally turn myself on, I am going to go take a cold shower ..oh xxxx, wait..I'm at work.....DARNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOKAY I guess I'll just stay this way til my boy toy picks me up for lunch...YUMMY...I can already taste it!

              Vi

              Comment


              • #67
                Sorry... This was crafted... Not flow of consciousness...

                Originally posted by ckBejug Alright kids, I've found the solution to all these whiny relationship/sex/love/like/whatever problems we seem to have. Here it is. I tell you, it was a stroke of genius. Read on...

                Write impassioned letters confessing your blind, paralyzing love for people, just to put the feelers out there! This dating stuff just takes to much time, doesn't it? It's just like this awkward dance to a crap song that lasts about 6 to 8 months (eating dinner, going to movies, having sex, calling each other for no reason, wondering whether you love the idiot and wondering whether the idiot is on the same page then wondering whether you should say so so you can finally move in together so no one has to run back to his or her apartment at six am just to change into a clean pair of pants before work). Then guess what? The song ends and the answer is no and you just wasted 6 to 8 months acting like a retard (that's how people act when they try to be in love with each other in the interest of getting more sleep somewhere down the line).

                So let's say you think Jack (or Jill or Antranik or Vartanoush) in HR could be into falling in love with you and you could maybe fall in love with him if you could get past his limp. Are you gonna start dating and maybe find out all the way after Christmas if he'd be down? Forget it. Write him a letter and tell him you've been insane with lack of sleep and appetite because you have yet to devote every ounce of your being to making his stay on this earth a pleasurable one. Or just pick some flowery way to say, "I will love you forever. You down?"

                If he's down, tell him that's awesome but you didn't really mean all that stuff you said in the letter. "I mean, I like you and I don't even care all that much that you're kind of crippled." But you got like six more letters out there and eight more to write but he's the first to respond so he's got dibs on a shot at you finding out if you'd be into returning his eternal love.

                Sure, this makes the relationship kind of one-sided, but if you're the one writing the letter, your side's gonna win. So who's complaining? There's just gotta be a way to keep boys and girls from getting all naked and sticky for half a year before they find out they never wanna see each other again. I think this is it.

                Use mail merge in Word. It lets you put all the people you think could be into falling in love with you in a database and then you can plug their names and addresses into a mass declaration of undying "I think you're tops" and you can even make mailing labels with it too.


                To whom it may concern:

                When I first saw your screenname I thought, "Wow! That is the most beautiful word I have ever seen!" Of course, at that point it was purely visual. 20 minutes later I got to know you almost, and that's when I decided that I am in love with you. You are what I always thought the perfect woman would be. You're intelligent, witty, and you have the cutest personality. You're the ideal balance of "gentle" and "assertive." Opinionated and understanding. Yes that is a fragment. And so is my heart in your absence. And when you sent me your picture.... my heart stopped! You are truly the most beautiful girl, regardless of the digital photo filter. Your lips are full and your smile is confident and it lights a flame beneath my gonads that only a life time in your arms can cure. You give me the hope I never had: hope that internal beauty and external beauty can co-exist and that the product of their marriage, the perfect woman, would actually talk to me and enjoy my company as you do. The delicacy of your hands while holding the glass clashing with the stength of your gaze is a mysterious juxtaposition that makes me wish I could crawl into you and understand everything because I know that it would amount to a universe. I am enthralled by your angelic state of being. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, [Christine]. I love you. Be mine.

                -Armel
                Last edited by Arvestaked; 12-23-2003, 03:00 PM.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Awwwwwwwwwwww

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by violette829 Awwwwwwwwwwww
                    My thoughts exactly.
                    Achkerov kute.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Re: Just as I promised...

                      Originally posted by Arvestaked To whom it may concern:

                      When I first saw your screenname I thought, "Wow! That is the most beautiful word I have ever seen!" Of course, at that point it was purely visual. 20 minutes later I got to know you almost, and that's when I decided that I am in love with you. You are what I always thought the perfect woman would be. You're intelligent, witty, and you have the cutest personality. You're the ideal balance of "gentle" and "assertive." Opinionated and understanding. Yes that is a fragment. And so is my heart in your absence. And when you sent me your picture.... my heart stopped! You are truly the most beautiful girl, regardless of the digital photo filter. Your lips are full and your smile is confident and it lights a flame beneath my gonads that only a life time in your arms can cure. You give me the hope I never had: hope that internal beauty and external beauty can co-exist and that the product of their marriage, the perfect woman, would actually talk to me and enjoy my company as you do. The delicacy of your hands while holding the glass clashing with the stength of your gaze is a mysterious juxtaposition that makes me wish I could crawl into you and understand everything because I know that it would amount to a universe. I am enthralled by your angelic state of being. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, [Christine]. I love you. Be mine.

                      -Armel
                      WOWWOW Armel, you got me all oozy here! Looky what we have here a serious Casanova. I can see now pieces of broken hearts covering the asphalt streets of California, Sanitation furious with this endless work of sweeping the streets, and there is one person responsible for this, one person who is as crafted with his words as he is with his hands. With which he weaves a web of seduction and romance, how can he be stopped? Has he found that someone who will tame his playful nature and save the hearts from breaking? Will the women finally find rest? Armel – The Man, The Wonder, The Love Criminal!

                      But seriously dude, that is freaking beautiful!!! Do we have ourselves forum sweethearts? ooooooooo

                      Comment

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