Domestic Abuse

[Anoush]

Re: Domestic Abuse

I supposed it depends on who they are telling and for what reason, but perhaps talking about it might help them cope. What's more, maybe someone can help them build up the courage to leave. Some are so ashamed they won't talk about it and don't realize they could have a support system that would be there to help them help themselves.

But to think that it's easy for any woman to pack up and leave, particularly for the ones with children, is naive. Many of these women don't feel like that's an option. Many have been put down to the point that they don't even believe they deserve better. It's never physical abuse alone, but there's emotional abuse to accompany it. These women feel trapped and many, for good reason, think that even if they leave he will find them and be angrier than ever. Or they are afraid that they might lose their children in the process or it would mean the children would be with the abusive husband unsupervised. That's why the ones who end up killing their abusers often had never considered just leaving an option at all.

Siggie you summed it up just right. Most of the time the abusive type of men are both physically and mentally abusive, and the mental is worse because they instill constantly to the women that without them they'll be hapless and helpless. And the women if they leave their abusive husbands, the war with those type of men aren't finished but they will be more fierce and worse. The women will fear of losing custody of the children and also their life could also be in jeopardy. Remember OJ Simpson's case? He went and killed her and the guy that was standing with her. And so unjustifiably OJ got hold of the two kids after that. With those type of men it's a no win situation very unfortunately.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Remember OJ Simpson's case? He went and killed her and the guy that was standing with her. And so unjustifiably OJ got hold of the two kids after that. With those type of men it's a no win situation very unfortunately.

I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure there was infidelity involved in OJ's case. I'm sure he wasn't perfect either seeing that he was best friends with the likes of the Kardashian's

[Pedro Xaramillo]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Oh man, you must have taken those liberal arts classes.... women who think they can change a violent and abusive man are usually the ones who are caught in these relationships. As far as how I "feel" about it, it doesn't matter because there is nothing that can be done about it. These relationships exist, have existed and will always exist. Abuse also isn't just prevalent towards women, there are also men who would never raise a hand to a woman but end up being verbally and physically abused by their wife. So instead of watching Oprah, getting depressed and psychologically brainwashed, turn off the TV and go out and get some sun.

"Regarding men who abuse women, I personally have noticed its generally weak men who do that, men who when confronted by other men generally are quite timid (although this is not always true)."

Usually it's the steroid freaks and uneducated men. Men who can't control their animalistic instincts, etc.


"When all you can feel are the shadows, turn your face towards the sun."
Helen Keller

Sorry I know this is a serious thread, but reading it with your reference to the steroid freaks and abusive women, I got the mental pictures of a 5"1 petite chick beating the ozarks out of a 7"0 steroid freak and that made me laugh

[Anoush]

Re: Domestic Abuse

I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure there was infidelity involved in OJ's case. I'm sure he wasn't perfect either seeing that he was best friends with the likes of the Kardashian's

OJ and Nicole were separated already, so Nicole was able to see other men. OJ had no right to get jealous and attack and kill Nicole or her friend. It's not like Nicole was still married to OJ, therefore there was no case of infedility by law. OJ had no darn right. He was warped mentally and a murderer.

About a week ago I saw on 20/20 a woman with two little boys who was separated from her husband because she said that he was controlling and always put down her motherhood and she got tired and was separated. She was in a Church choir and met someone in there and started dating. But I don't think her husband was jealous, he wanted full custody of the children while they both had custody. One day while she was trying to pick up the kids, he came with a baseball bat and hit her on the head several times. She got away and was saved. Then he gunned her down shooting twice to her head in her car. Again miraculously she was saved. Then while he was in jail, he paid someone to kill her. They caught him on time and it didn't go through. He is jailed for 37 years and she has custody of the boys finally; thank goodness. But what she went through was unbelievable the poor thing.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

OJ and Nicole were separated already, so Nicole was able to see other men. OJ had no right to get jealous and attack and kill Nicole or her friend. It's not like Nicole was still married to OJ, therefore there was no case of infedility by law. OJ had no darn right. He was warped mentally and a murderer.

About a week ago I saw on 20/20 a woman with two little boys who was separated from her husband because she said that he was controlling and always put down her motherhood and she got tired and was separated. She was in a Church choir and met someone in there and started dating. But I don't think her husband was jealous, he wanted full custody of the children while they both had custody. One day while she was trying to pick up the kids, he came with a baseball bat and hit her on the head several times. She got away and was saved. Then he gunned her down shooting twice to her head in her car. Again miraculously she was saved. Then while he was in jail, he paid someone to kill her. They caught him on time and it didn't go through. He is jailed for 37 years and she has custody of the boys finally; thank goodness. But what she went through was unbelievable the poor thing.

Laws can't stop people from feeling what they're feeling and acting out their feelings with rage. OJ wasn't thinking "oh damn, I don't have the right to be jealous while some guy is in my house with my (ex) wife". Laws are better at punishing than preventing. Most guys don't really see the pain of divorce until they realize exactly how much they get screwed out of the deal. From what I've heard, the divorce laws in California are worse than anywhere else in the world.

[Anoush]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Laws can't stop people from feeling what they're feeling and acting out their feelings with rage. OJ wasn't thinking "oh damn, I don't have the right to be jealous while some guy is in my house with my (ex) wife". Laws are better at punishing than preventing. Most guys don't really see the pain of divorce until they realize exactly how much they get screwed out of the deal. From what I've heard, the divorce laws in California are worse than anywhere else in the world.

Laws perhaps are better at punishing than preventing; but that's where values and ethics along with being closer to the Lord comes in handy. When there is a separation, any kind of separation; the other party has to learn to deal with the situation of jealousy all by himself or get some help. Nicole's house may have been OJ's because of previous arrangements and because his ex-wife and OJ's children were living in there; but he should have understood that a separation means that either party can and eventually will seek other partners and they both have to deal with it as sainly as possible, regardless that it could be painful for them or not. I understand, it can be very painful, especially when one still loves the other; but there are laws and we all have to abide by them or else. If OJ didn't have a great deal of money and power and he didn't find those smart and powerful lawyers; he would have been sentenced probably for life. Anyone else would have gotten just that much. OJ was very lucky to get away not serving life sentence and he should have controlled his extreme jealousy and anger.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Laws perhaps are better at punishing than preventing; but that's where values and ethics along with being closer to the Lord comes in handy. When there is a separation, any kind of separation; the other party has to learn to deal with the situation of jealousy all by himself or get some help. Nicole's house may have been OJ's because of previous arrangements and because his ex-wife and OJ's children were living in there; but he should have understood that a separation means that either party can and eventually will seek other partners and they both have to deal with it as sainly as possible, regardless that it could be painful for them or not. I understand, it can be very painful, especially when one still loves the other; but there are laws and we all have to abide by them or else. If OJ didn't have a great deal of money and power and he didn't find those smart and powerful lawyers; he would have been sentenced probably for life. Anyone else would have gotten just that much. OJ was very lucky to get away not serving life sentence and he should have controlled his extreme jealousy and anger.

I never liked laws... the Goldman's of the world can go to hell.... O.J. should have known better than to mess with j3ws... lol. On a serious note, it's sad that kids are being born into these dysfunctional relationships.

"O. J. Simpson was charged and tried for both the murders of Goldman and his ex-wife. In October 1995, Simpson was found not guilty of both murders. In a 1997 civil trial, a jury found Simpson liable for Goldman's death and awarded $33 million (USD) in damages to the Goldman family."

"During the trial, Fred Goldman lashed out at defense attorney Johnnie Cochran's courtroom rhetoric such as the labelling of Mark Fuhrman as a Hitler, and his use of bodyguards from the black nationalist group Nation of Islam. Simpson's family, in turn, verbally attacked Goldman, who was supported outside the court by chanting members of the xxxish Defense League."

Somehow, Nicole's death wasn't as important as Goldman's.... sigh.

[Anoush]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Unfortunately it is very sad that a great deal of kids are born into disfunctional families. That's why sometimes we hear that they either grow up to be abusive or they end up taking their own life and sometimes they take the lives of a lot of innocent passerbys along with their own. It's very sad indeed.

[Anoush]

Re: Domestic Abuse

KndHye, here's some info. about OJ and the Goldmans.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O._J._Simpson

[Mos]

Re: Domestic Abuse

oh please. In marriage women must submit to husband, not like in western world where they are equal and all marriages end in divorce and women marry 3, 4 times, that is disgusting. The husband has to keep in line his women and take good care of her.