Domestic Abuse

[Siggie]

I know why you said the above and it is sarcasm, I understand; with the number of men in our homeland who abuse our women and at times in the diaspora as well. But this sickness Fem jan, unfortunately it's not just among some of our men but in all nationalities, alas.

Honestly, I don't blame the men. It's the women who are dumb enough, with no self-respect and bulks of low self-esteem. I honestly hate women who have the tendency to discuss with others about the way their husbands are treating them, specifically speaking, beating. That's probably the most idiotic thing a woman can do, complain to her girlfriends and mother how her husband or fiance is abusing her in various ways. Not only does it make the husband look like an idiot, but hell, she appears more idiotic than her guy. Isn't she the one who's going back home to her man and sleeping with him the same night? Absofukinglutely!

Why are some women so blind? Why do you talk shi't about your husband to the rest of the world but when he enters in the same building as you, you shi't in your pants? Why not do something about it for a change instead of whining your ass off and only making matters worse. Keep your personal family shi't to yourselves ladies, no one cares about your husband beating you, the only plus side in it for them is Gossip points (+1up!)! Not only do these women degrade their own families, but most vividly, degrade themselves by showing their unique weak side and saying, "Hey, I married a wife beater, but it's k cuz I'm stupet and can't do nothing about it cuz I'm a dumbass and I knew it was coming the first day we met!" Oh the pain... I mean, my broken leg.

I supposed it depends on who they are telling and for what reason, but perhaps talking about it might help them cope. What's more, maybe someone can help them build up the courage to leave. Some are so ashamed they won't talk about it and don't realize they could have a support system that would be there to help them help themselves.

But to think that it's easy for any woman to pack up and leave, particularly for the ones with children, is naive. Many of these women don't feel like that's an option. Many have been put down to the point that they don't even believe they deserve better. It's never physical abuse alone, but there's emotional abuse to accompany it. These women feel trapped and many, for good reason, think that even if they leave he will find them and be angrier than ever. Or they are afraid that they might lose their children in the process or it would mean the children would be with the abusive husband unsupervised. That's why the ones who end up killing their abusers often had never considered just leaving an option at all.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Wise words by Harut @ 2:26. Armenian style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLp3Y...e=channel_page

[Yedtarts]

Re: Domestic Abuse

No woman will stay in an abusive situation if she was financially secure, unless she have seen it in her family while growing up, and she'll consider it normal.

[Siggie]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Wise words by Harut @ 2:26. Armenian style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLp3Y...e=channel_page

What are you trying to say? Don't get with the bad boy type if that's not what you want? Don't try to change people?
You always do this... link to other things. Say a few words about the message you wish to convey through your links. It would be very helpful to those reading your posts. You thought of the connection so it may seem very clear to you, but it is not clear to everyone else. You have to say what you mean.

Don't get with an abusive man if you don't want to be abused? Is that what you're saying?
We were talking about when you're already in that situation, but okay... Of course if already it's evident that a man has an anger issue or has already been violent, don't get with or stay with him.

[Siggie]

Re: Domestic Abuse

No woman will stay in an abusive situation if she was financially secure, unless she have seen it in her family while growing up, and she'll consider it normal.

Certainly, if you're financially dependent that makes things more difficult. But if you fear for your safety or that of your family, money won't buy you protection.
These men operate by making the woman feel worthless and telling them no one wants them and no one will help them. They suggest the women deserve to be treated this way, etc. I imagine they're not encouraged to have careers because that would conflict with that message. So, it's not only about having the money to be financially independent although that's a part of it.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

What are you trying to say? Don't get with the bad boy type if that's not what you want? Don't try to change people?
You always do this... link to other things. Say a few words about the message you wish to convey through your links. It would be very helpful to those reading your posts. You thought of the connection so it may seem very clear to you, but it is not clear to everyone else. You have to say what you mean.

Don't get with an abusive man if you don't want to be abused? Is that what you're saying?
We were talking about when you're already in that situation, but okay... Of course if already it's evident that a man has an anger issue or has already been violent, don't get with or stay with him.

I thought my link was self explanatory <shrug>. Unless you want me to translate his fake accent to English. I don't get paid for advice... all the answers are out there for those seeking it.

How can you blame the men the women choose to be with. IT IS WHAT IT IS. Everyone makes choices, it's a part of life. Then my tax dollars go toward all these social services that bail out people who make poor choices. Tough, I got my own problems.

Isn't it women who play a role in raising boys into men? Maybe the problem lies there.

[Siggie]

Re: Domestic Abuse

I thought my link was self explanatory <shrug>. Unless you want me to translate his fake accent to English. I don't get paid for advice... all the answers are out there for those seeking it.

How can you blame the men the women choose to be with. IT IS WHAT IT IS. Everyone makes choices, it's a part of life. Then my tax dollars go toward all these social services that bail out people who make poor choices. Tough, I got my own problems.

Isn't it women who play a role in raising boys into men? Maybe the problem lies there.

You quote me then talk about issues I didn't mention and it winds up looking like you're somehow disagreeing with me.

I'm all about personal responsibility. Sure, some women are in these situations due to poor choices. But does that mean they deserve to stay in them? I'm not saying we /the government should pay to get them out. I'm just saying that knowing that they have family and friends who will be supportive can be helpful to them and they wouldn't know it if they never reveal that they are being abused.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

You quote me then talk about issues I didn't mention and it winds up looking like you're somehow disagreeing with me.

I'm all about personal responsibility. Sure, some women are in these situations due to poor choices. But does that mean they deserve to stay in them? I'm not saying we /the government should pay to get them out. I'm just saying that knowing that they have family and friends who will be supportive can be helpful to them and they wouldn't know it if they never reveal that they are being abused.

I apologize, when I said "you", I didn't mean YOU. The reality is some of these people live very isolated lives and even if they have family, they usually aren't around. But sure, if close family knows it's going on and they are in a position to intervene, by all means... the guy needs a sh!t kicking, lol. The problem with the law is, they'd just give him a slap on the wrist which would make him even more angry and vindictive.

[Pedro Xaramillo]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Hmm, well now my opinion is that its not entirely fair to say that a woman "asks for it" if she is in a relationship with an abusive man, people get psychologically screwed over so badly that they enter a self destructive cycle because of feelings of little self worth, then its once again the pattern :

Abuse >> Apology >> Calm >> Abuse >> Apology >> Calm >> Abuse

I agree that it is foolish for someone to stay in a relationship with an abusive man, but never the less there is psychology involved in that, which might make the rest of us think "Stupid", someone in that situation has a less accurate view of things.

Regarding men who abuse women, I personally have noticed its generally weak men who do that, men who when confronted by other men generally are quite timid (although this is not always true).

Bottom line, domestic abuse is a serious matter and while the victim can be foolish, the majority of the blame lies with the man who beats his wife as no is forcing him to lift his hand to her

[KanadaHye]

Re: Domestic Abuse

Oh man, you must have taken those liberal arts classes.... women who think they can change a violent and abusive man are usually the ones who are caught in these relationships. As far as how I "feel" about it, it doesn't matter because there is nothing that can be done about it. These relationships exist, have existed and will always exist. Abuse also isn't just prevalent towards women, there are also men who would never raise a hand to a woman but end up being verbally and physically abused by their wife. So instead of watching Oprah, getting depressed and psychologically brainwashed, turn off the TV and go out and get some sun.

"Regarding men who abuse women, I personally have noticed its generally weak men who do that, men who when confronted by other men generally are quite timid (although this is not always true)."

Usually it's the steroid freaks and uneducated men. Men who can't control their animalistic instincts, etc.


"When all you can feel are the shadows, turn your face towards the sun."
Helen Keller