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Would you marry a person who isn't Armenian?

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  • #151
    Originally posted by chille I think in the very first steps of relationship it doesn't matter what nationality the person is, but when it comes to marriage it is important. You want your husband/wife to share the same culture with you. You want to raise your kids in the same culture as you were raised. When the parents come form different cultures it is very disturbing and very painful for the child's psychology. The child cannot identify himself with any of his parents. I would marry any Armenian, it doesnt matter where he is coming from. All that matters he is an Armenian and it means that we have something important in common.
    You're talking to a kid whose parents came from two different cultures. Not only was it not the least bit hard on my psychology, it wasn't all that hard on them either. The only difficulty they had was imposed by their own oppressive parents who attempted to force them to marry within their own race. I don't identify with any one culture. I identify with small parts of all cultures. This does not in any way decrease my sense of identity. If anything, it increases it, as my identity is almost entirely of my own choosing. I do not identify with one particular culture because it is that of my parents, or because I grew up with it, but rather I identify with that which best suits me as an individual.

    I'd appreciate it if you'd quit posting as if you knew what you were posting about. You, and I mean all of you, speculate, whereas I have been through all of this.

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    • #152
      Which two cultures?

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      • #153
        Originally posted by loseyourname You're talking to a kid whose parents came from two different cultures. Not only was it not the least bit hard on my psychology, it wasn't all that hard on them either. The only difficulty they had was imposed by their own oppressive parents who attempted to force them to marry within their own race. I don't identify with any one culture. I identify with small parts of all cultures. This does not in any way decrease my sense of identity. If anything, it increases it, as my identity is almost entirely of my own choosing. I do not identify with one particular culture because it is that of my parents, or because I grew up with it, but rather I identify with that which best suits me as an individual.

        I'd appreciate it if you'd quit posting as if you knew what you were posting about. You, and I mean all of you, speculate, whereas I have been through all of this.
        I am sorry you feel annoyed by the posts simply because you disagree with what they are saying. But I think everyone is free to express what they think. I am not trying to talk about the things as if I know, I am just expression my opinion. I haven't been raised in a biracial family so I don't know what it feels like but I assume it is hard, though I am not saying it is hard for every single kid from a such family. I have a lot of friends who are very lost in terms of their own identity because their parents are from different cultures and backgrounds, so I am speaking from their experience
        Last edited by chille; 02-05-2004, 08:11 PM.

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        • #154
          Originally posted by chille I am sorry you feel annoyed by the posts simply because you disagree with what they are saying. But I think everyone is free to express what they think. I am not trying to talk about the things as if I know, I am just expression my opinion. I haven't been raised in a biracial family so I don't know what it feels like but I assume it is hard, though I am not saying it is hard for every single kid from a such family. I have a lot of friends who are very lost in terms of their own identity because their parents are from different cultures and backgrounds, so I am speaking from their experience
          I'm not annoyed by people who disagree with me. But when you say that a child growing up with parents who have two distinct cultural backgrounds is going to develop psychological problems because of it as if you are some kind of authority on the subject, then I feel I need to interject. Children develop problems when they are expected to be a certain way and that is not the way they are. That includes being pidgeonholed by cultural expectations. It wasn't a problem for me because I'm so different from anyone in my family to begin with that I just mostly avoided them and they didn't seem to care. The only way I can see it being a problem is if each parents insists that the child identify with his/her culture over the other. I prefer to identify with myself.

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          • #155
            Originally posted by spiral Which two cultures?
            My mom is mostly Irish and Czech, as whitebread as they come. She grew up middle class in Orange County and went to a private high school. My dad is mostly Native American and grew up poor in East LA. He was kicked out of more schools than most of us will ever see. My dad was already living on his own when he met my mother, so he didn't catch quite so much flack from his parents, but my mother was only 18 and still in high school. Her mother very nearly disowned and pulled all kinds of theatric stunts telling her to stay away from someone who was not also white and middle class. Their marriage is one of the most successful I have ever seen and it's probably the one thing I respect most about my parents. They ignored the expectations of their respective cultures and married the person they loved, which is what marriage should really be about.

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            • #156
              Originally posted by loseyourname You're talking to a kid whose parents came from two different cultures. Not only was it not the least bit hard on my psychology, it wasn't all that hard on them either. The only difficulty they had was imposed by their own oppressive parents who attempted to force them to marry within their own race. I don't identify with any one culture. I identify with small parts of all cultures. This does not in any way decrease my sense of identity. If anything, it increases it, as my identity is almost entirely of my own choosing. I do not identify with one particular culture because it is that of my parents, or because I grew up with it, but rather I identify with that which best suits me as an individual.

              I'd appreciate it if you'd quit posting as if you knew what you were posting about. You, and I mean all of you, speculate, whereas I have been through all of this.
              Some how, you know everything and your adamance that to you it doesn't matter, somehow means that we shouldn't care either.

              I'm sorry you can't see this, but you won't understand it, precisely because you aren't Armenian. No one is demanding people marry with their own, it is only preferred and strived for. That you cannot stomach people wanting to marry within their culture is not anyones problem but your own.
              Achkerov kute.

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              • #157
                Originally posted by Anonymouse Some how, you know everything and your adamance that to you it doesn't matter, somehow means that we shouldn't care either.

                I'm sorry you can't see this, but you won't understand it, precisely because you aren't Armenian. No one is demanding people marry with their own, it is only preferred and strived for. That you cannot stomach people wanting to marry within their culture is not anyones problem but your own.
                Yes, and somehow you don't seem to be listening when I say I have no problem with people marrying within their own culture and furthermore, I don't care who anyone other than the two people who I actually consider friends here marries.

                You seem to think this practice is limited to Armenians. It's not. I can understand the inclination perfectly well, Mousy. I have no issue with people wanting to marry within their own culture. The people I take issue with are the ones who are militant and won't allow anything else. You are not one of those people, so I don't see why we should have any quarrel here. Once again, you are arguing about nothing.

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                • #158
                  I love it, a thread with 158 replies, and it still hasn't gone off topic.

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                  • #159
                    Originally posted by Emil I love it, a thread with 158 replies, and it still hasn't gone off topic.
                    Nice observation, Master.

                    We are moving up in this forum. Yay!

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                    • #160
                      Originally posted by Emil I love it, a thread with 158 replies, and it still hasn't gone off topic.
                      Pssst, Emilio! It just did with that there post of yours....... !!
                      The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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