Golden Rules Of Dating

[thedebutante]

One debate about what makes a rule coming right up!

[Anonymouse]

It was not a conscious decision, so it's not a rule. That's my point.

It is, by the fact that you are a thinking acting creature now reflecting on it.

[ckBejug]

It is, by the fact that you are a thinking acting creature now reflecting on it.

Hindsight and reflection don't make rules. You have to contemplate what you are doing before you do it, then it's a rule. But, right now, as I am in a relationship and thinking back on how I didn't set any rules and limitations for myself, contemplating that doesn't make what I did become following the rule of no rules.

[gevo]

gevo you're a genius..hehehe

na i do think its true that you shoudn't date anyone that has been raped
so yah i agree with that

AIDA!!! OH GOSH DARNIT>> YOU'RE A GENIUS TOO!!!!!!HAHAHAA..

calrification though- by saying "dont date" i mean dont go out with people you KNOW that you wont stay with for long.. what the point>? and whats the point to start dating when your 17,18 or sooner??? i mean.. if you are not planning on getting married or something till you are 23 or more, then that leaves 4+ years of "dating" which can result in lotsssssssssss of bull.. lol.. but, ofcourse it is important to get to know your 'mate' before you get into anything serious.. but i think a couple of years is more than plenty...

My point is.. that most people who get into dating (and deny it alll you want..) early on get into sex, do worse and worse in school, and then a couple of years of this, one of you ends the relationship because of stupid reasons, the saddest and most common iv seen to be "im tired of you" (direct translation-i want to have sex with someone else).. thats the problem i see in dating.... so i say again.. DONT DATE!!!!(dating as described above) HAHAHA..

[gevo]

..... Living your life and letting things be, rule free, without consciously making any decision not to have rules,.....

Actualy.. ultimately i think this is how i am.. not having any written rules just means that you know whats right inside, and you dont have to express them to yourself on paper and read them everytime you 'date'... I think your right.. not having to make any of these decision specifically is better.. casue you just let how you really feel take over.. and wen something is right or wrong, no matter how many different ways you rationalize it to yourself you know that wont make it right.. this follows the "not having set rules for dating" idea.. this way its genuine.. but ofcourse this is not to outset some of the (amazingly) good advice listed previously.. but just to make them a more...natural.. thing.

[Anonymouse]

Hindsight and reflection don't make rules. You have to contemplate what you are doing before you do it, then it's a rule. But, right now, as I am in a relationship and thinking back on how I didn't set any rules and limitations for myself, contemplating that doesn't make what I did become following the rule of no rules.

But at one point you made a conscious choice when time came, since you are an organismic consciousness, therefore cannot claim to make a unconscious choice, as choice presupposes thought. To deny that is to deny human action in any of our endeavors. Hence you prescribe to the rule of no rules. It's very simple, although you do not want to admit you have a rule, thus the resistence, which is fine.

[!EEK]

Stick to the subjects god damnit! Can't you read? "Favorite hair style"


















But I think I share the same point of view than Mouse, having no rule is something we impose ourselves (or a society,etc..) and it's pretty much like a rule being subordinate to something else (idea, opinions, principe,etc..)

[Mags]

If this is a first date, by all means stick to getting to know each (i.e. family, friends, work, school, etc.)...minus the sexual stuff...If a guy asks me what and who I've done in the past on the first date, you can rest assured he won't be hearing from me after that night...I think it's rather rude and it just shows he's more interested in sex than me as a person....And besides, I don't feel comfortable telling people that I hardly know my personal business...what if I never speak to that guy again...AFTER telling him what I've done/or haven't done in the past? most guys are xxxxxxxs and would use that against a girl...so I try to avoid that until I've actually known the person for a while and I trust him with that information.

What if they ask you about Rule Number One for Guys:

Do you lie? It's a common thing between people of different sexes, you always want to know if you're dating a good girl (everyone has their own definition of good) and a girl who's slept with the college football team and vice versa.

And by talking about it, i'm not suggesting being crude and saying "Oh yeah, so this one time, I boned this blonde in the backseat etc etc."

[GSTracer05]

If this is a first date, by all means stick to getting to know each (i.e. family, friends, work, school, etc.)...minus the sexual stuff...If a guy asks me what and who I've done in the past on the first date, you can rest assured he won't be hearing from me after that night...I think it's rather rude and it just shows he's more interested in sex than me as a person....And besides, I don't feel comfortable telling people that I hardly know my personal business...what if I never speak to that guy again...AFTER telling him what I've done/or haven't done in the past? most guys are xxxxxxxs and would use that against a girl...so I try to avoid that until I've actually known the person for a while and I trust him with that information.

I didnt mean on the first date. I meant throughout the dating process. I didnt know your rules specified first date circumstances My bad.

[nunechka]

choosing to say that you "shall not follow any rule" is in a way a rule... but since it isnt specifically about ONE thing, people think it encompasses too much and couldn't be a rule... but logically thinking, or a lot of times i like the example of math, mathematically thinking, it is a rule... if there were rules which all equaled to 10 and you said there shall not be any rules you are saing -10 (negative ten) and so:
10-10 = 0 and zero is a number, if zero was not a number where would we start? and how can we answer certain SIMPLE multiplications problems like?
525 x 0 = 0
or
-5, -4, -3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (if a zero did not exist we would not have a place for it in the number line) and your rule of no rules would not exist...

as for dating rules: if you are not equipped to take care of someone emotionally and you know that, then dont date someone who has emotional problems; i know i cant deal with too much emotion, so i avoid people who are too emotional. i am girl and sometimes i dont want to talk to my friends who get too emotinal...

good rules:
- dont expect to pay, and dont expect the other to pay.
- cant handle a certain personality, dont date someone who has that personality and expect them to change.
- know exactly what you DONT want, at least that way you can aviod those people

that last one is a lot like my relationship with anony... he is fascinating, but i know that i could never deal with that much talking and constant over complication of issues, and other such curious things about him...
nonetheless, he is a good person, and i hope he finds someone that likes him that way...