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Differences that either make or break the relationship

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  • #1

    Differences that either make or break the relationship

    Long title, short idea.

    There's the old adage that "Opposites Attract", which I think has some merit. Or does it? From personal experience I think there are certainly parts of a personality where opposites attract only drama and heartache. At the same time, there are things where having differing thoughts can actually help the relationship work and can add a little spice to it.

    The problem is knowing which differences affect the relationship in what ways. So, why not name areas where you think opposites could work and work well and areas where the two people need to be exactly on the same page. It's part art and part science.

    For example:
    disposition: can an innately angry person get along with a person who is innately forgiving and calm. From experience, not. It was hell.

    intelligence: again, a smart person will have a hard time getting along with a person he/she cannot hold an intelligent conversation with.

    political/religious affiliations: differences to a point are ok and in fact can add spice and a rich ground for intellectual discussions. Of course if the people are fanatical about their affiliations, it could implode.

    propensity to sacrifice for your partner: ________
    flexibility: _____________
    sense of humor: ___________
    desire to have children: ________
    ...
    Last edited by karoaper; 03-20-2006, 12:10 AM.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

    Wasn't it "Opposites Attract"?

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

      Originally posted by One-Way
      Wasn't it "Opposites Attract"?
      lol oops
      thanks, I'll change it.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

        Originally posted by One-Way
        Wasn't it "Opposites Attract"?
        Does that mean that a Nazi and a Joo like each other?
        Achkerov kute.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

          Originally posted by Anonymouse
          Does that mean that a Nazi and a Joo like each other?
          I'm not agreeing to it, I was just correcting him. But to answer you, it's possible. Opposites do attract.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

            Originally posted by karoaper
            Long title, short idea.

            There's the old adage that "Opposites Attract", which I think has some merit. Or does it? From personal experience I think there are certainly parts of a personality where opposites attract only drama and heartache. At the same time, there are things where having differing thoughts can actually help the relationship work and can add a little spice to it.

            The problem is knowing which differences affect the relationship in what ways. So, why not name areas where you think opposites could work and work well and areas where the two people need to be exactly on the same page. It's part art and part science.

            For example:
            disposition: can an innately angry person get along with a person who is innately forgiving and calm. From experience, not. It was hell.

            intelligence: again, a smart person will have a hard time getting along with a person he/she cannot hold an intelligent conversation with.

            political/religious affiliations: differences to a point are ok and in fact can add spice and a rich ground for intellectual discussions. Of course if the people are fanatical about their affiliations, it could implode.

            propensity to sacrifice for your partner: ________
            flexibility: _____________
            sense of humor: ___________
            desire to have children: ________
            ...
            I think if one were an American soldier and a Muslim terrorist female, then clearly, opposites could not attract.
            Achkerov kute.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

              I should clarify that I don't mean a one night stand or a 5 month relationship. I mean "till death do us part". And I mean generally. A mazo marrying a sado doesn't count.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

                Originally posted by karoaper
                Long title, short idea.

                There's the old adage that "Opposites Attract", which I think has some merit. Or does it? ...
                So, are you talking about magnetism? Chemistry? Or ‘animal magnetism’ and ‘love chemistry’ ?

                What do you mean with ‘opposites’ and is that really is the question to ask about human relationships? I wonder if 'opposite' in quality is not really...

                “And yet, both Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa and the Einstein’s 1905 paper on the Theory of Special Relativity involved the production by their authors of patterns: in the first case a pattern of paint spots on a piece of canvas, in the second, spots of ink (called “words”) on a piece of paper…

                The central thesis of this paper is that, even though we may think of creation and discovery as being separate phenomena, they are really manifestations of the same underlying mechanism.”


                Maybe I should read all of this paper? http://www.ulg.ac.be/cogsci/rfrench/creativity.pdf

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

                  Originally posted by Anahita
                  So, are you talking about magnetism? Chemistry? Or ‘animal magnetism’ and ‘love chemistry’ ?

                  What do you mean with ‘opposites’ and is that really is the question to ask about human relationships? I wonder if 'opposite' in quality is not really...

                  “And yet, both Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa and the Einstein’s 1905 paper on the Theory of Special Relativity involved the production by their authors of patterns: in the first case a pattern of paint spots on a piece of canvas, in the second, spots of ink (called “words”) on a piece of paper…

                  The central thesis of this paper is that, even though we may think of creation and discovery as being separate phenomena, they are really manifestations of the same underlying mechanism.”


                  Maybe I should read all of this paper? http://www.ulg.ac.be/cogsci/rfrench/creativity.pdf
                  I mean life-long attraction. To me, short term attraction is more about hormones and skin-deep visual/auditory/sense cues.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Differences that either make or break the relationship

                    Originally posted by karoaper
                    I mean life-long attraction. To me, short term attraction is more about hormones and skin-deep visual/auditory/sense cues.
                    "As the particles approach the speed of light the switching rate of the electric fields becomes so high that they operate at microwave frequencies.."
                    Particle accelerator - Wikipedia
                    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Particle_accelerator


                    I understand what you mean. I wonder if anyone understands that, though. Opposite poles of magnets repel. In chem... etc... Can science ever explain human emotion, though? Who knows.

                    Comment

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