Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

So, you're saying there are some justified reasons for beating one's wife?

Are there justified reasons for people fighting? Are there justified reasons for war? Are there justified reasons for women beating their husbands? Sisters fighting with brothers? Maybe we are just violent animals with no self control.

[Siggie]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

I'm just thinking, there are tell tale signs of abuse, perhaps you weren't that close or someone knew and looked the other way. I know it's not that clear cut but usually there are signs.

I think we had family in Iran who suspected, but didn't say anything. We had no idea.

So when people around you are the ones that are xxxxty and causing the problems, then how are you supposed to overcome all of that? You can't judge people without having walked in their shoes.

So, you're saying there are some justified reasons for beating one's wife?

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

DUDE! Wth does this have to do with my saying that "Yes, live sucks! Don't use that as an excuse to be a xxxxty human being?" I didn't ask WHY life sucks. I'm just saying when people do crap like that they need to own it and not make excuses for themselves. I don't know how many times to repeat the same point and have you reply with something unrelated. I don't understand your purpose... maybe you're confusing me by quoting what I'm saying.

So when people around you are the ones that are xxxxty and causing the problems, then how are you supposed to overcome all of that? You can't judge people without having walked in their shoes.

You're talking about my aunt? They kept it a secret until her kids called the police. Then they all promptly left the house, filed restraining orders, and then she filed for divorce. By the time we knew this had happened, it was pretty much over.
What we did was help in the aftermath. Giving them a place to stay, helping financially, helping them find a new place to live, helping her rebuild her self-esteem and feel comfortable with making decisions herself (she was afraid to decide even the smallest things for herself because she was never permitted to make any decisions), helping them get into therapy, find a new place to live, etc. Just generally, being supportive and helpful in any way we could. This was a broken woman who had to learn how to stand on her own for the first time in her life.

I'm just thinking, there are tell tale signs of abuse, perhaps you weren't that close or someone knew and looked the other way. I know it's not that clear cut but usually there are signs.

[Siggie]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

What excuse did your boss have for chewing you out, why do you have money troubles, why are people taking your home away from you and why doesn't anyone give a sh!t about your problems and fix your car for free? The fact is in Western society, you're on your own and nobody gives a sh!t about your problems. They have their own.

DUDE! Wth does this have to do with my saying that "Yes, live sucks! Don't use that as an excuse to be a xxxxty human being?" I didn't ask WHY life sucks. I'm just saying when people do crap like that they need to own it and not make excuses for themselves. I don't know how many times to repeat the same point and have you reply with something unrelated. I don't understand your purpose... maybe you're confusing me by quoting what I'm saying.

I didn't disagree, I added an additional myth to the equation. Laws are made for people who follow them. People who don't follow laws don't care how many are written in the books.

Ah, well yes then... Laws are of limited utility; we're in agreement. Hallelujah!

You said this was going on for a long time, which means you would have to have known it was going on

You're talking about my aunt? They kept it a secret until her kids called the police. Then they all promptly left the house, filed restraining orders, and then she filed for divorce. By the time we knew this had happened, it was pretty much over.
What we did was help in the aftermath. Giving them a place to stay, helping financially, helping them find a new place to live, helping her rebuild her self-esteem and feel comfortable with making decisions herself (she was afraid to decide even the smallest things for herself because she was never permitted to make any decisions), helping them get into therapy, find a new place to live, etc. Just generally, being supportive and helpful in any way we could. This was a broken woman who had to learn how to stand on her own for the first time in her life.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Wth? Since when is a little personal responsibility a bad thing? I'm not saying that xxxxty things don't happen to everyone. If my boss chews me out and I'm having money troubles, my house might be foreclosed on, my car needs repair, my child is sick, etc. and I lose my temper with a rude sales associate and punch them in the face, does all of that make my behavior excusable?

What excuse did your boss have for chewing you out, why do you have money troubles, why are people taking your home away from you and why doesn't anyone give a sh!t about your problems and fix your car for free? The fact is in Western society, you're on your own and nobody gives a sh!t about your problems. They have their own.

Even when I'm basically agreeing with you, you find a way to disagree? I said MOST who break laws. You go and point out an example from the subset of terrorists?

I didn't disagree, I added an additional myth to the equation. Laws are made for people who follow them. People who don't follow laws don't care how many are written in the books.

If I knew what was going on?

You said this was going on for a long time, which means you would have to have known it was going on

[Siggie]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

I'm referring to people I know personally.... shouldn't make excuses for people? So I guess everyone is born perfect, has no problems whether financial or personal and the world is a happy go lucky place. Not sure what you're smoking but pass it over.

Wth? Since when is a little personal responsibility a bad thing? I'm not saying that xxxxty things don't happen to everyone. If my boss chews me out and I'm having money troubles, my house might be foreclosed on, my car needs repair, my child is sick, etc. and I lose my temper with a rude sales associate and punch them in the face, does all of that make my behavior excusable?

People who break laws aren't afraid to get caught, they have nothing left to lose. You think terrorists would cross borders where lawful citizens would cross?

Even when I'm basically agreeing with you, you find a way to disagree? I said MOST who break laws. You go and point out an example from the subset of terrorists?

So if you knew this was going on, what did you do about it?

If I knew what was going on?

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

How about the WA man who shot his wife and 3 daughters in Griffith Park some years back. I believe the surviving 2 daughters are now living in Canada.
My aunt's husband was abusive before they ever immigrated to the US. We shouldn't make excuses for people. Everyone should have an alternative way of dealing with stress than to beat their wife or break their 7-year old's shoulder.

The laws are of limited help because the trouble with most who break them is that they never believe they're going to get caught. If they did, they wouldn't be breaking them!

I'm referring to people I know personally.... shouldn't make excuses for people? So I guess everyone is born perfect, has no problems whether financial or personal and the world is a happy go lucky place. Not sure what you're smoking but pass it over.

People who break laws aren't afraid to get caught, they have nothing left to lose. You think terrorists would cross borders where lawful citizens would cross?

So if you knew this was going on, what did you do about it?

[Siggie]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Laws don't stop abuse, they act after the fact. I don't know any Armenian men that beat their wives or children but then again, my connection is to Western Armenians. I know lots of immigrants have issues that puts strain on their families. My neighbour who was from Portugal ended up being an alcoholic who beat his wife after his kids made poor choices in life and his family was ruined. His son was 2 years older than me and had 2 kids during high school and then dropped out and was on welfare. There are lots of factors that lead to destructive behaviour and it's not as simple as "making laws" to prevent them.

How about the WA man who shot his wife and 3 daughters in Griffith Park some years back. I believe the surviving 2 daughters are now living in Canada.
My aunt's husband was abusive before they ever immigrated to the US. We shouldn't make excuses for people. Everyone should have an alternative way of dealing with stress than to beat their wife or break their 7-year old's shoulder.

The laws are of limited help because the trouble with most who break them is that they never believe they're going to get caught. If they did, they wouldn't be breaking them!

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

I know plenty of armenian men who beat their wives and kids and the wife's brothers didnt do xxxx. Typical armenian machismo -ill kill the guy who does this n that- but inn reality the fear from the law and self preservation prevents many of these brothers from interfering plus often the victimized sister asks that they do not interfere. Women do need a better way to protect themselves from abuse besides the -my brother will beat u up bit- plus some women do not have brothers. It is unfortunate indeed that abusing the law allowes many women to get away with false accusations but there is no good answer available-perhaps a good star to fixing the problem would be to not compensate layers based on the ampount of the money their client recieves if she wins the case. Men are at a disadvantage in most states because of the law but without these laws women would be by far at a greater disadvantage so things are not good and could even be much worst but to make it better the layer must suffer which is just fine by me.

Laws don't stop abuse, they act after the fact. I don't know any Armenian men that beat their wives or children but then again, my connection is to Western Armenians. I know lots of immigrants have issues that puts strain on their families. My neighbour who was from Portugal ended up being an alcoholic who beat his wife after his kids made poor choices in life and his family was ruined. His son was 2 years older than me and had 2 kids during high school and then dropped out and was on welfare. There are lots of factors that lead to destructive behaviour and it's not as simple as "making laws" to prevent them.

[Haykakan]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

I know plenty of armenian men who beat their wives and kids and the wife's brothers didnt do xxxx. Typical armenian machismo -ill kill the guy who does this n that- but inn reality the fear from the law and self preservation prevents many of these brothers from interfering plus often the victimized sister asks that they do not interfere. Women do need a better way to protect themselves from abuse besides the -my brother will beat u up bit- plus some women do not have brothers. It is unfortunate indeed that abusing the law allowes many women to get away with false accusations but there is no good answer available-perhaps a good star to fixing the problem would be to not compensate layers based on the ampount of the money their client recieves if she wins the case. Men are at a disadvantage in most states because of the law but without these laws women would be by far at a greater disadvantage so things are not good and could even be much worst but to make it better the layer must suffer which is just fine by me.