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What are your thoughts on spanking children

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  • #11
    Not that this has to do with anything but I want two boys and one girl.

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    • #12
      I think parents should try very very VERY hard not to spank their kids, but if it comes to the point when the kids are just out of control and are dissobeying the parents with out care, spanking wouldn't hurt (litterally it would but that's not how I meant it. ) There's a limit to spanking though and that limit is age. I think by the time the child is 5 or 6, you shouldn't hit the child anymore and you certainly shouldn't make spanking a habit. It would be really bad for the child if he/she is afraid of the parent. If a parent does spank the child, they should always explain (in that strict parenting voice) why the hit/spank the child. Give several warnings and if the child is out of control, spanking wouldn't hurt (again, not litterally. )

      I think spanking is different for girls and boys though. Girls are more sensitive to spanking and I think it would be best to just yell at them instead of hitting them. I know that when I was little, if my dad raised his voice at me, my eyes would already fill with tears. Then again this is just my personal experience. So........yea. :-)
      I see...

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      • #13
        Originally posted by winoman
        OK - as a parent - we have 2 boys - ages 11 & 8 (nearly as old as some of you here!! - making me an old guy - yeah... )...

        OK - so let me chime in...I can count the times we've spanked our boys on one hand. In general I don't approve of spanking (or any hitting) or use it...and yeah - most parents who smack their kids are just lazy or worse. I do think that spanking - or the threat of it (which we occasionlly do use...but even that not at all very often) can serve a purpose. The few times we have spanked have been after repeated warnings about behavior and such - with threats of spanking and other attempts to resolve the situation already having been (unsuccessfully) made. And the spankings - though I'm sure they hurt a bit - were never severe or with any implements - and always were followed by an explanation of how it came to such. I do think the threat of spankings - once you have established that it is a potentially real threat - is useful - to curb the unruliest of behaviors. Yeah - the kids don't at all like the idea and ussually shape up pretty quick! I don't believe in random hitting or such either.

        You guys will find (eventually?) find that raising children (even pretty good kids like we have) will be very challenging and frustrating at times - and sometimes they will put you at wits end. Kids don't always (..sometimes I think rarely...) listen - even when its (in our eyes) in their best interest to do so - or even when its to prevent a dangerous situation or sometimes yes its just because you've got things to do (like get to work etc) and they are dragging their feet (or worse) - and other times they can be loud and obnoxious - repeatedly - in situations where its totally inappropriate/uncalled for or just creating a din over time that prevents you form doing stuff etc and can just drive you nuts. SOmetimes even the best strategies to elicit cooperation utterly fail. And you really can't let your kids rule you and run roughshod over you - they have to learn respect for elders and manners and such - so important for eventully becomming decent human beings and not disrespectful little brats & worse....so - you will see - sometimes more extreme punishment methods might be necissary (no removal of digits or limbs or such or other medivial type punishments though...lol)- there is a whole arsenal of other (gentler behavior modification) methods to use before it comes to such (IMO)...all that being said - I can;t recall the last time either boy was spanked by us - I'm sure it has been years...and yeah - we have pretty good kids I think...
        Agreed. Not that I have children, but speaking from past experience as someone who has been spanked in extreme circumstances, when I was being bad after constant warnings and explanations about my behavior... I can honestly say it worked those rare times when speaking was not enough, and I learned from it. It didn't mess me up, or give me issues, or make me stupid, or make me hate my parents, nor are my very intelligent, educated, and attentive parents the kind who let the TV babysit my brother, sister, and I as we were growing up. In fact, we weren't even allowed to watch TV. So as a means employed in those few circumstances when 'no' and an explanation are not enough, I do believe spanking works. Now don't get me started on those people who use disiplinary spanking as an excuse to abuse their children, that's bull and shouldn't be tolerated.
        The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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        • #14
          Never believed in spanking, never will. Unless it is me spanking my wife on her beautiful butt cheeks.
          Achkerov kute.

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          • #15
            My parents have always used the silent treatment on me. No spanking necessary.

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            • #16
              Spanking... kids these days got it easy I presonally don't care if parent spank their kids or whatever...but that sound like a mild punishment to me, both mentally and physically.

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              • #17
                Originally posted by gevo
                abuse is different sad eyes jan.. being hit with a belt is a problem of that who is hitting, not you... and spanking is not anything like that, it is one of the last resorts to explicitly discipline...

                .

                Nonetheless, any form of negative physical contact to a child is wrong. I simply will not hit my children in any form or way.

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                • #18
                  Spanking a child means that the parents have problems they can't conotrol and take it out on their kinds, wich may have provocated it out of the parent...but its up to the parents to teach the kids right from wrong and not the opposite. I dont think that spanking teaches the kid anything, except for shutting up at that very moment.
                  So no parents are in my point of view allowed to hit a child. but the same goes for blaming all of their problems on the child, without hitting them- both can do much damage.

                  Funny thing is that my mother hit me once on my cheek when I was a child, for a very strange reason, an alarm clock had set off , and she thought i had touched the clock. I had found myself in the same room as the watch wrong time wrong place...I never touched it, just walked by it.

                  She didin't belive me! So she made me cry and was very angry. wonder why she got so angry
                  Last edited by Tres Bien; 09-21-2004, 03:25 PM.

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                  • #19
                    Originally posted by Tres Bien
                    Spanking a child means that the parents have problems they can't conotrol and take it out on their kinds, wich may have provocated it out of the parent...but its up to the parents to teach the kids right from wrong and not the opposite. I dont think that spanking teaches the kid anything, except for shutting up at that very moment.
                    So no parents are in my point of view allowed to hit a child. but the same goes for blaming all of their problems on the child, without hitting them- both can do much damage.

                    Funny thing is that my mother hit me once on my cheek when I was a child, for a very strange reason, an alarm clock had set off , and she thought i had touched the clock. I had found myself in the same room as the watch wrong time wrong place...I never touched it, just walked by it.

                    She didin't belive me! So she made me cry and was very angry. wonder why she got so angry
                    AGAIN!!! your saying "ALL SPANKING" is this way.. u are wrong..
                    How do you hurt a masochist?
                    -By leaving him alone.Forever.

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                    • #20
                      Originally posted by Anonymouse
                      Never believed in spanking, never will. Unless it is me spanking my wife on her beautiful butt cheeks.
                      W3rd!!11



                      Originally posted by gevo
                      AGAIN!!! your saying "ALL SPANKING" is this way.. u are wrong..
                      No, she's not wrong. There is no middle ground, here. You can't justify hitting in ANY degree by calling it "light" or "mild" spanking. Spanking is still hitting, no matter what you want to call it, or how "delicately" you do it. And what is this supposed to teach a child, anyway? "If you don't do as I say, I'll inflict physical pain on you"?? That's somehow decifering right and wrong to the child? No, it's an excuse to take out the aggressions brought on by your child "bringing you to witts end", as winoman put it.

                      I also look at spanking as a "gateway abuse" into deeper, more dangerous forms. Parents either outgrow the spanking their kids faze, or it progressively gets worse. Kids can grow a tolerance to spanking, just like anything else, so some parents feel like it requires more and more abuse in order to get the end result of having the child stop the "wrongful action".

                      I think it should be required that all people take a parenting class before they're allowed to have a baby. You have to have schooling in order to operate a car, why don't we have a likewise requirement for the guidelines of operating a child's upbringing? You'd be surprised what you can learn in just a class, or two.

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