What are your thoughts on spanking children

[gevo]

example 1:
Kid writes on the wall with a marker, mom walks up yells shoves and spanks... WRONG
example 2:
Kid writes on wall, mom walks up explains to her nicely yet sternly why not to do such a thing, mom walks away kid keep writing on wall, mom walks back, asks her why she is not listening to her (though the kid doenst understand, its the rebellious nature of human beings, and the kid is practicing an authority, a control over her mom, which is why she continues to write on the wall) again, mom tell her she can not do such a thing, it is wrong, explains why how etc.. tells her if you do it one more, i wills pank you. Mom turns away, few minutes later kid writes on wall.. mom comes back, sends kid to the corner and spanks her slightly to inflict the authorative pain that will make the kid think twice next tiem she tries to take control... Kid goes back to wall with marker, looks at wall, looks at marker, decides its not worth being spanked again.. and the kid allready knows from the mothers' explanations WHY it is wrong to write on walls.. this.. is ok.

Show me where the mom in this scenerio took her "rage" out on her child?

[fIReBuRntInHeLL]

Hello all...I was just wondering what you people think about spankings...is it a good way to teach a kid discipline? What would you do if you had a child and he/she got out of line all the time? Do Armenian families typically use spanking as a form of punishment? A friend and I have two totally different viewpoints on the subject and I am interested to know how all of you feel about it. Thanks.

I've been spanked from my mother lots of times and that helped me a lot to be a nice, wonderful, adorable, beautiful, amazing, charming and cute girl.

[winoman]

l No, it's an excuse to take out the aggressions brought on by your child "bringing you to witts end", as winoman put it.

absolutly wrong. The context of "at wits end" is in regards to none of the "nice" approaches at all working - and if/when you become a parent you will better understand this. In the context where I have spanked (and again - its been only ever 2-3 times per child in their entire lives....but enough to be able to use the threat of it very effectively) - it has never had anything to do with me taking any aggression out - but because I felt that nothing else was working and I needed something a bit harsher to convey that their behavior was unacceptable and had to stop. And its not like I did it with barbed lashes or such. I understand the issue of adults using their overwhelming force & power against a helpless child and that one does not want to encourage violence - these are issues one must consider and not abuse. But - in special circumstances - that include a clear explanation for the punishment and such - I do see spanking as a legitimate tool for behavior modification. The danger is abuse of such. And I agree there is nothing worse then being out in public and seeing some nasty parent wailing away at their kid - this is certainly unacceptable.

But if/when you have kids - you will understand that there are times that they will not respond to anything else but (at least) the threat of a spanking. They hate being spanked (and its more then it hurting)...and they will really respond if they know you are serious enough for it to come to that. But I agree - the willy nilly slapping or hitting is just out of line and is very sad.

[Inna]

I was spanked as a child, its not like my parents beat me half to death, they just gave me a good spanking so I'd learn my lesson, its how you teach a child that what he or she is doing is not allowed or appropriate. I think people make a big deal about spanking, as long as its not a daily habit and only occurs when needed then there is no big deal about it. FYI, I turned out perfectly fine, so I think spanking is ok.

[Tres Bien]

Maybe youre right Inna and Winoman, altough i dont agree that its appropriate too spank your kids ...In some cases it really doesnt matter , its actually the hole pictures that matters , how the children are raised in general that is. All families are different.

[gevo]

Maybe youre right Inna and Winoman, altough i dont agree that its appropriate too spank your kids ...In some cases it really doesnt matter , its actually the hole pictures that matters , how the children are raised in general that is. All families are different.

Very good point.. everythign else matters to the way you raise your kids alogn with spanking or not..

[angelik22]

i only believe in speaking with children and disciplining them by alking to them and helping them understand instead of beating the crap outta them- im totally against hitting kids, but its inevitable in situations which ive seen with my older cousins and their kids, where the kid was about to swallow a marbel and the mom out of reflex hit her hand when she saw, not to hurt the kid intentionally but as an instantaneous reaction- but otherwise its wrong i dont think hitting a child teaches them anything but fear from their parents- children shuoldnt fear their parents- but loev them and trust them

[Thai-Samurai]

another spanking example

Does anyone here think it's ok for Turkish parents to spank their children?

[Crimson Glow]

Winoman - I'm not getting into a debate of whether or not, on the rare occassions you have done it, you've done it out of aggression. I'm talking about in general for most people that do it on a regular basis. I only brought you up because of the quote "children can bring you to witts end", not because of your spanking factor (ok, that just sounded wierd). I wasn't making a personal attack at all.

Still....I've been around children quite a bit. There were a set of twins my sister used to baby sit, cousins of her best friend. Well, I'd go with her because, during a trip we took to their grandparent's Wisconsin cabin, I had grown quite attatched to them. They were little babies then. I haven't seen them since they turned about 4. But just like any children, they would get loud, and cranky, and obnoxious on a great many occassions. You just have to take a very firm tone with them, and let them know you're not joking around. If you have to pick them up and carry them away from what they're doing, then DO so. I've had to do that several times. For example...

Gevo - instead of telling the child to stop writting on the wall, and returning to find he's still doing it, TAKE THE MARKERS AWAY! Why is it in his/her hand if they're not allowed to do this in the first place? The first instance it happens, you grab it out of their hands and tell them they're not allowed to use it again until they understand you can't write on the wall with it.

Inna - What lesson were you learning by the spankings? You haven't really learned right and wrong, you've just learned "if you do certain things I tell you not to, I'll spank you for it!" This doesn't really explain right or wrong, or what makes it so.

And having gone through it, plus coming out "ok" doesn't mean it's alright. You can do acid lots of times, and be fine. Does that make it alright? I'm not going to go into details, but I've been through 10 x's worse than probably anyone on this board, and I'm the most stable person I know. It cracks me up when I hear some sissies where I live whine about how hard their life is/was growing up, or blame certain things on their parents. You pathetic, weak bastards.

Anyway, enduring something and coming out the other side in one piece is not necessarily a testiment to its legitmacy. I just feel there are better ways to go about it.

[Anonymouse]

All these people so adamant in defending spankings. CHILD ABUSE!