Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

[gkv]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

if she has been with other men before, she can form her own conclusions more accurately.

and by the time she reaches her "conclusions", nobody will be interested anymore.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

I actually think the reason many "traditional" men are so worried about the woman having had experiences before them has a lot more to do with their own insecurities and less to do with the woman having been rejected. If a woman hasn't been with another man before, the first guy is literally the best (or the worst ) she has ever been with. But as soon as there are other men in the past, these guys get all self conscious and get worried that they won't measure up ... so to say.

It is also about control and power. If you are the first guy you can always make it seem like every other guy is going to be so much worse to her and she, not having any frame of reference, might end up believing. But if she has been with other men before, she can form her own conclusions more accurately.

That's B.S. If they don't measure up then it's not like she can go back to the first, all she can do is keep rejecting because it wasn't as good as she remembers when she and her partner(s) were younger. Eventually a woman's biological clock winds down and she has to "settle" on someone or she has to marry because she can't use her beauty to get by anymore. It all looks good in the movies but doesn't translate well in the real world.

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

and by the time she reaches her "conclusions", nobody will be interested anymore.

Why not? I see many women in their 30s and 40s get divorced and in a very short time connect with someone new and actually end up much happier than they were before. Of course also sometimes they end up deciding to remain single. There are also those that continue making the same mistakes and picking the same types of wrong guys over and over.

I have to say though while I don't agree that "nobody will be interested", I do think that people need to sometimes be more realistic about their mates. Most of the unhappinesses I think comes from unreasonable expectations from each other. People tend to want to find some idealized mates where in reality they may not even exist ... or if they exist, they may not be accessible (or available).

Its just that things have changed and are changing ... people have a lot more options and are much less "stuck" in certain ways. So the key to be happy in this day and age is to just be happy with what you got sometimes and not to want too much of everything else. I am not talking about settling but more about just being more content.

[Lucin]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Where did he say that? If you don't understand that he's saying that we don't do that with CARS and we're not even purchasing a car for life, so why would we do this with choosing a spouse, then you're really just being deliberately obtuse.

His statement can perfectly be interpreted that way too. That's language. However, if we take into consideration what he 'means', we can assume that 'testing a car' and 'testing a woman sexually' are put on the same scale here. You 'test' it/her, you like it/her you keep it/her, you don't like it/her, you put it away (dump it/her). His sole criterion is based on one's sexual performance. While sex is quite important to maintain a healthy, emotionally balanced life, the relationship cannot be resumed to that. What's more, sex can/is definitely improving only over time, practice and communication.

I hope Levon would be unbanned to respond to Sip's comments, the two represent the very opposite sides (regarding this issue) and it's interesting.

I completely agree. A lot of the "traditional" views on sex is that hey, you have to go buy a car without getting to test drive it and also without ever having driven anything before in your life and on top of that, you are stuck with that car until the rest of your life

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

I hope Levon would be unbanned to respond to Sip's comments, the two represent the very opposite sides (regarding this issue) and it's interesting.

I would hope so too but unfortunately he showed many times that he couldn't keep himself from personally insulting people over and over and that just takes away from the quality of discussion no matter what the topic.

I feel again I need to clarify something about the car statement. For the record, I personally don't think sex is really that important in long term committed relationships. I think traditional views place far far faaaar too much emphasis on sex. They make sex be the central issue. They command you not to have sex until marriage and they make it seem like this holy ridiculously overvalued thing to be cherished, worshiped, feared, etc. My personal views on sex are far more relaxed. I do not advocate humping like animals at random occasions but I also think artificially holding out or abstaining from this natural part of human behavior or placing too much emphasis on sex is not very healthy for young adults.

That's why I don't think marriage should be centered around virginity. That just glorifies sex and makes it appear to be the most important issue in life and it just really ain't that important really if you ask me.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

I would hope so too but unfortunately he showed many times that he couldn't keep himself from personally insulting people over and over and that just takes away from the quality of discussion no matter what the topic.

I feel again I need to clarify something about the car statement. For the record, I personally don't think sex is really that important in long term committed relationships. I think traditional views place far far faaaar too much emphasis on sex. They make sex be the central issue. They command you not to have sex until marriage and they make it seem like this holy ridiculously overvalued thing to be cherished, worshiped, feared, etc. My personal views on sex are far more relaxed. I do not advocate humping like animals at random occasions but I also think artificially holding out or abstaining from this natural part of human behavior or placing too much emphasis on sex is not very healthy for young adults.

That's why I don't think marriage should be centered around virginity. That just glorifies sex and makes it appear to be the most important issue in life and it just really ain't that important really if you ask me.

So now sex isn't that important but you need to test drive because you don't want to get stuck with it for the rest of your life. The reason North American men cheat is because their wives don't want to engage in sex anymore but some how they were eager up until marriage and during their youth. So the American guy that busts his butt for a career gets stuck marrying a cold fish which ends up in divorce. Nice reward.

[Lucin]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

I feel again I need to clarify something about the car statement. For the record, I personally don't think sex is really that important in long term committed relationships..

Are you sure? I think it's important in a long-term relationship. But you kind of contradict yourself here, you first stressed on the importance of one's sexual performance (so you don't get stuck with a lifetime…) before establishing a long life relationship then here you say it's not that important in long-term committed relationship?

[gkv]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Sip's original message dates back to 2008.
Since then, he has expanded his garage and, as a result, his philosophical horizons
(still not to a point of reaching transcendence)
now he can afford to be sentimental about his vintage cars (which have have failed to keep all their promises) and keep them alongside the newer, better performing "rides".

[Jinx]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

It is surreal to me that any man living in a western country at this stage in history still feels that they are in the right when it comes to making judgments and pronouncements on what any woman (or any other man, for that matter) is allowed to do with their own bodies and sexuality.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

It is surreal to me that any man living in a western country at this stage in history still feels that they are in the right when it comes to making judgments and pronouncements on what any woman (or any other man, for that matter) is allowed to do with their own bodies and sexuality.

You can do what you want with your body, just don't expect me to pay for it with universal health insurance. In fact, the quicker they make people pay outrageous health care costs, the quicker society will heal itself from the poor life choices and decisions people make because they are taken care of by nanny states.