Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

[gkv]

i see you've added some extra explanation to enlighten me

i guess the nuance i missed is the one introduced by the "lifelong" epithet.
the reason i missed it (and i suspect a lot of people will too) is that it is very theoretical.
in fact it is not really accurate in this sentence.

for there is an implicit hidden word which is "candidate"
your statement is about a "candidate lifelong companion" which is not a spouse (yet) and might be replaced by another "candidate lifelong companion".

candidate lifelong is not exactly lifelong.

otherwise there would be no point in trying, would there?

the fact one feels the need to "try" suggests one's ability for lifelong commitment is not great.
in other societies, people would marry without knowing each other.
marriage/love was/is a pledge.
today people think "liking" or "feeling attracted to" is "loving".
as a result, one day they "love", the other day, they "love" someone else and stop "loving" the previous "lifelong companion".

[KanadaHye]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Yes, I think you missed something.

You quoted the critical point itself... You wouldn't do that when buying a car which is far less of an important decision to make than picking a spouse. Sip wasn't saying spouses are the same as cars.

He said you don't want to get stuck with the same car for your whole life and you want to keep changing cars. And you agreed with him. So you can drop the act.

Let me add... while you're out test driving cars, your future purchase will have been driven and rejected numerous times by other renters so there must have been problems with it.

[Siggie]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

He said you don't want to get stuck with the same car for your whole life and you want to keep changing cars. And you agreed with him. So you can drop the act.

Where did he say that? If you don't understand that he's saying that we don't do that with CARS and we're not even purchasing a car for life, so why would we do this with choosing a spouse, then you're really just being deliberately obtuse.

I completely agree. A lot of the "traditional" views on sex is that hey, you have to go buy a car without getting to test drive it and also without ever having driven anything before in your life and on top of that, you are stuck with that car until the rest of your life

... but the car is "pure" when you do get it.

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

He said you don't want to get stuck with the same car for your whole life and you want to keep changing cars. And you agreed with him. So you can drop the act.

Yah that was not quite my point. I said even when you want to buy a car you test drive a few (I hope -- don't you?). But if you were to pick a car for life, it would be kind of stupid to do it without knowing anything about the car. It's a simplification to illustrate a point. Obviously marriage is far far far more serious than picking a car.

For the record, those who know me around here from long ago will already know this but I am quite passionate about my cars and I do literally pick them for life (until there completely fall apart or get totalled).

[Siggie]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Yah that was not quite my point. I said even when you want to buy a car you test drive a few (I hope -- don't you?). But if you were to pick a car for life, it would be kind of stupid to do it without knowing anything about the car. It's a simplification to illustrate a point. Obviously marriage is far far far more serious than picking a car.

I think your meaning would be abundantly clear to anyone who wasn't looking for something to nit-pick over and misinterpret.

For the record, those who know me around here from long ago will already know this but I am quite passionate about my cars and I do literally pick them for life (until [they] completely fall apart or get totalled).

Read: Until I destroy them.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Where did he say that? If you don't understand that he's saying that we don't do that with CARS and we're not even purchasing a car for life, so why would we do this with choosing a spouse, then you're really just being deliberately obtuse.

So why do women have issues with men who test drive a different car every weekend? Or when they park one in the garage and take another one out on rainy days? As long as the dealership lets them, they'd be nuts to settle on one.

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Let me add... while you're out test driving cars, your future purchase will have been driven and rejected numerous times by other renters so there must have been problems with it.

I actually think the reason many "traditional" men are so worried about the woman having had experiences before them has a lot more to do with their own insecurities and less to do with the woman having been rejected. If a woman hasn't been with another man before, the first guy is literally the best (or the worst ) she has ever been with. But as soon as there are other men in the past, these guys get all self conscious and get worried that they won't measure up ... so to say.

It is also about control and power. If you are the first guy you can always make it seem like every other guy is going to be so much worse to her and she, not having any frame of reference, might end up believing. But if she has been with other men before, she can form her own conclusions more accurately.

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

Read: Until I destroy them.

Hey, I always use ... never abuse.

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

So why do women have issues with men who test drive a different car every weekend? Or when they park one in the garage and take another one out on rainy days? As long as the dealership lets them, they'd be nuts to settle on one.

The main difference here is commitment. I would definitely love to be able to drive a different car every weekend. But the car that is going to treat you the best, not break down on you, not leave you hanging, and the one you will get to know very deep and personally and know every little noise, vibration, or response would be the one you commit yourself to fully.

[Siggie]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

So why do women have issues with men who test drive a different car every weekend? Or when they park one in the garage and take another one out on rainy days? As long as the dealership lets them, they'd be nuts to settle on one.

I don't have a problem with that. In the second example, I don't have an issue with that either, so long as he's honest about what he's doing.

I actually think the reason many "traditional" men are so worried about the woman having had experiences before them has a lot more to do with their own insecurities and less to do with the woman having been rejected. If a woman hasn't been with another man before, the first guy is literally the best (or the worst ) she has ever been with. But as soon as there are other men in the past, these guys get all self conscious and get worried that they won't measure up ... so to say.

It is also about control and power. If you are the first guy you can always make it seem like every other guy is going to be so much worse to her and she, not having any frame of reference, might end up believing. But if she has been with other men before, she can form her own conclusions more accurately.

Insightful. I think you're on to something.

Hey, I always use ... never abuse.

I'm actually really curious about offroading; it looks like a ton of fun. Always a roll cage right?
For women, maybe go with "enjoy...never abuse."

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What?! Speedboats too?! *turns green*