Breakup

[CatWoman]

And would he have stayed with you for two years if you WERE a virgin? Don't think so.... When it's time to get serious, all of a sudden everyone wants a virgin. Screw him, get over it, move on, and don't stay friends, it's not healthy!

~Adam Corolla

[dstyle]

It's hypocritical as well, obviously no guy wants a xxxx but if hes done the dirty deed, maybe more then once, how can he be like that. wierd.

[sad_eyes]

Are you emplying something, dstyle?

[Siamanto]

You're welcome. I agree that ultimatums or abrupt decisions are not compatible with the issues concerning human relationships and I suppose 2 days is too short. However, at some point a hard line in the sand must be drawn. Otherwise, SadEyes could be having a on-off relationship with Levon for another year never progressing ahead. I've seen it happen with many other people. That's what I think must be avoided. Whether it's 2 days or a week or a month, there must come an end to toying of human emotions and path to healing (if that's the inevitable path) must be taken.

Of course, I'm not saying that someone should eternally try; but, hopefully, more than 2 days!
I believe that we understand each other!

[karoaper]

Of course, I'm not saying that someone should eternally try; but, hopefully, more than 2 days!
I believe that we understand each other!

Well, you know I've lived in US 8 years now and I'm getting used to the fast-food culture. Gotta be snappy. Things to do, people to see. I don't have all week to wait WOMAN. lol jk We do kuro jan.

[winoman]

And would he have stayed with you for two years if you WERE a virgin? Don't think so.... When it's time to get serious, all of a sudden everyone wants a virgin. Screw him, get over it, move on, and don't stay friends, it's not healthy!

~Adam Corolla

exactly - good point. The hypocrisy of this requirement for the female to be a virgin while the male can do as he wishes is a remnemt of female oppression and unequal treatment that should be an immeditate warning sign to you gals to run the other way as fast as you can.

"Property" - Todd Rundgren

I'll be your fantasy, but I won't be your property
Love you eternally, but I'll never be your property
Love from me's not guaranteed
Just because you think I'm property
I can love you totally and still not be your property

Every girl and boy wants to grow up to be loved someday
And you can't wait to give your heart away
But it's like worship in their eyes walking down the aisle
When you slip on that ring, they start to treat you like a thing, yeah

I call it slavery when you call someone your property
Don't waste your vanity, I will never be your property

Something wonderful happens when people fall in love
Your happiness is all they're thinking of
But it's like "anything you say" 'til the wedding day
When they get it in ink, they start to tell you what to think, yeah

Darkest day in history when someone invented property
Cause of our misery is the constant lust for property

Since god began it, we've been dividing up the planet
When you see something you want it
You've got to put your name tag on it
And we go on carving, meanwhile half the world is starving
It's a crime .. hands off what is mine!

Take all you can 'til you slam on the parking brake
And you need space to make your own mistakes
But it's like "I won't hold you back" 'til the bags are packed
Then they're struttin' about like they own you inside out

I call it slavery (you can't make me a slave),
when you call someone your property
Don't waste your vanity (don't be so vain),
I will never be your property
Darkest day in history (why did you have to do a thing like that)
when someone invented property
Cause of our misery (misery, misery)
is the constant lust for property

[dstyle]

Just agreeing with catwoman

[bell-the-cat]

exactly - good point. The hypocrisy of this requirement for the female to be a virgin while the male can do as he wishes is a remnemt of female oppression and unequal treatment that should be an immeditate warning sign to you gals to run the other way as fast as you can.

"Property" - Todd Rundgren

I'll be your fantasy, but I won't be your property
Love you eternally, but I'll never be your property
Love from me's not guaranteed
Just because you think I'm property
I can love you totally and still not be your property

This virginity thing has nothing to do with possession of property, it is to do with insecurity.

IMHO you and this Levon person are just two sides of the same coin. For him it important for a woman to be a virgin because in his mind he is thinking "if she has had sex with men in the past then she will do it with other men after we are married". For you, virginity in a woman is unimportant becase you are thinking "if she has had sex with men in the past then there is a good chance she might do it with me".

Another unsolvable problem for SadEyes will be that a guy as insecure as Levon will have an absolutely certain belief that her previous Armenian boyfriend, being Armenian, will be thinking "well, you might have married her - but I had her before you did, ha ha!" For Levon, that prospect will be impossible to live with - it will be such a stain on his and his family's "honour".

---------------------

Virginity is important, but only in an abstract way.
To quote another song's lyrics:

I was beat, incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine

[sad_eyes]

Levons words: You are not a virgin. "The other armenian guys that you have been with (Artur and Gevorg) would point and laugh at me and my father "saying hahaha, I xxxxed your wife."

I read in your post, and correct me if I am wrong, that you seem to think that virginity is unimportant to me? Again, as I stated in a recent post, virginity is EXTREAMLY important to me. Although I am not a virgin, I strongly strongly strongly earg any young woman to remain that way until marriage. Mine was taken from me and I continued to abuse my body afterwards, it (for me) has done nothing but much trouble, and I find that relationships are often more questionable when having sex.

I told Levon that I cannot change my past. Although the person I was and the person I am today are completely different, I will never be able to erase the actions of my past and there after effects, no matter how sorry and regretful I may be. My body is a part of who I am, and I have to take the flaws of my life with me everywhere. Levon has many flaws too, before he met me, he was a man xxxxx of the city, being with every girl he possibly can (PLEASE do not get offended by the following comment but so has every other armenian guy in this city)but after being with me, he quieted down, he was content and happy, and the feeling was mutual. I know and completely understand your traditions as far as marrying a virgin is concerned, I understand it too well. Actually, Levon despises Artur after what he did to me...but anyway, I have always been one to think that love, real love, is accepting each other wholeheartedly, without limitations, you cant look at someone who you truley love and say I love everything about you except this one thing, no. It doesnt work that way. Love is embraceing thier faults and flaws and loveing them despite of them. Finding the beauty if not in them well their faults as well. No one being on this earth is perfect or without "sin" (sorry but I think loseing your viriginty before marriage is a bad sin) Well, in my opinion anyway. He has so many to count......and the others, they were not ones to talk. They are all married with children and yet they go and xxxx every women they can whenever they can. And yet, they look their eyes upon me and lable me as a xxxxx....and they do not even feel an ounce of remorse for their wrongdoings. Is this just because of the double standered in society today? Anyways, my appologies, I am rambling on. Its an emotional issue for me. Bottom line is this, I am extreamly offended that levon would say such a thing (although I do agree with keeping virginity) because of our relationship, the fact that he is so not a traditional armenian and rarely follows any traditions, and that he himself has been intamite with me, so to speak...He would never use me, that isnt the case here, I cant stress that enough.

Anyways, I do understand that tradition prevails. It IS the honourable thing to do.

[spiral]

“Tradition prevails”? Where did you get that from?